Going to restaurants with people not in your ‘bubble’

[Bellebelle]

Okay, so I’m in Scotland where rules around meeting people outside your household/extended household bubble are slightly different to the rest of the country but there’s not a massive difference in the number of people who can meet up indoors/outdoors etc. In Scotland three households can meet indoors with social distancing and I think it’s similar elsewhere.

Over the past couple of weeks there have been chats with friends and colleagues about starting to meet up face to face again after many months of only communicating on Zoom, WhatsApp etc (none of us live close enough to each other to have had any quick catch ups in a garden etc, proper arrangements need to be put in place to meet up).

So, I was very up for this and have been suggesting grabbing a takeaway coffee and going for a socially distanced walk or maybe sitting outside somewhere if the weather allows. However everyone wants to book tables in restaurants, wine bars etc and seem very relaxed about it. One person at work even suggested we book a table at a restaurant in town for 8 people. I’ve got another potential catch up this Thursday evening for 5 people which was planned for outdoors but now that the weather is looking dodgy someone has booked a table in a restaurant.

I don’t get it! You obviously can’t social distance when you’re all round a table in a restaurant but no one seems to bat an eyelid when it’s suggested. I thought we’d all just wrap up warm, stay outdoors and be grateful to see each other but I suddenly feel like I’m completely out of step with everyone in my social/work circle. I guess all these people going out to pubs and restaurants aren’t all in household groups and are taking the risk but am I right in thinking that this is breaking the rules?

For the Thursday meet up I think I’m going to have to pull out and just say that I don’t feel comfortable going to a restaurant ( haven’t sat inside anywhere with DH or DC’s yet so feels weird to go and do it with other people). Am I being overly cautious though? If the hospitality industry is open for business is that a green light to go out with friends but just be cautious elsewhere in life? Really just keen to check if my understanding is right, we’ve been very much in our household bubble for months, been pretty cautious but not felt overly restricted by things and reasonably happy for DC’s to go back to school etc but not in any rush to do anything that doesn’t seem essential but now wondering if I need to change my approach otherwise I’m going to become a hermit!

@Sunnydazey

Wait people are still following the rules 🤣 I don’t know anyone who still is. Stop being so controlled everyone and enjoy life

This is what has led us into stricter lockdown in the NW.

I think convivial people are a bit of a liability right now, 😉. I'd hang out in the library only ours is takeaway only, while the pubs and bars are sit in!

Choccy they are hard pushed to come up with evidence of outdoor transmission. It seems it's pretty low risk.

@mrsknottschicken

I know exactly what you mean, OP.

My child is moving school in September and someone suggested drinks with all the new class mums before the term starts, as well a meet-up for the kids. I just cannot see how that can be done in a socially-distanced way.

Oh that's really quite depressing, spreading it before school starts!

A family member has just been on a motorbike tour of the NorthCoast500. (For those that don't know, its a 500 mile loop around the very top (and extremely beautiful) of Scotland, starting and finishing in Inverness). It was booked pre Lockdown for August and so was touch and go whether they could all go. There were 15 of them, all English Men in their 50s, all from different households.

They all ate together in restaurants / pubs along the way and no one batted an eyelid. In fact the family member said that the people running these businesses in the Highlands were very grateful to everyone for the business and to get the tourists back. Apart from sticking them on say 3 separate tables, there was still 5 on each table and not socially distanced at all.

@Sunnydazey

Wait people are still following the rules 🤣 I don’t know anyone who still is. Stop being so controlled everyone and enjoy life

It's idiots like you that will still keep spreading the virus. Hope you're proud of yourself.

The rest of us want to enjoy life, which is why we're following the science.

If only idiots couldn't pass it on I wouldn't care what you did, but grow up & stop putting other people's lives at risk.

I've only eaten out with extended family and on another occasion at the home of good friends but we know that each other aren't taking risks and we (being the most liberal with the rules) have had it. I would be cautious about a larger group indoors

Where I live the rate of COVID is 2 cases per 100,000 people

The risk of getting hit by a car is higher

I'll be careful
but not paranoid

@ListeningQuietly

Where I live the rate of COVID is 2 cases per 100,000 people

The risk of getting hit by a car is higher

I'll be careful
but not paranoid

But surely the cases are so low because the majority of people are abiding by the rules. If everyone thought fuck it and went out in bigger groups the rate would rocket. 🤷‍♀️

This ∆∆∆

Trying to explain this to a hotel we were booked into pre-lockdown. 6 of us, all from different households, occupying three twin rooms. So far, within the current rules ( although we wouldn't actually want to spend a night in the same room as someone from another household).
But we can't sit together at one table at breakfast, lunch or dinner so really no point going as a group. The hotel can't see the problem.
We can meet up in one another's gardens, but no cafe or restaurant has room for us to distance appropriately.

But surely the cases are so low because the majority of people are abiding by the rules. If everyone thought fuck it and went out in bigger groups the rate would rocket.
Bournemouth

What about Bournemouth?

@Scarby9 this is the kind of thing I’m coming across through my job as I deal with hotels and venues. As places reopen there seem to be inconsistencies how venues have thought through how to follow the rules. In one hotel I spoke to I can book a conference where they’ll seat everyone 2m apart for the conference but if we want to have a dinner in the evening everyone would be on round tables less than 1m apart - arguably the riskier part of the event when people are talking to one another and eating rather than sitting watching someone present to them. The response was that the dinner tables would be 2m apart from one another but I was like yes, but the people on the tables need to be apart from one another too! It’s almost as if as soon as eating and drinking together comes into the equation that all bets are off - it’s just too hard to get your head around or deal with the fact that actually, the restrictions are still pretty tough if you want to socialise.

For a lot of venues there’s a huge focus on deep cleaning which while obviously important can distract from the fact that the biggest risk is getting too close to people who have covid. All the ‘hygiene theatre’ as I’ve heard it described is being done to make people feel safer because I guess that’s easier to get your head around than the fact that even in the most sterile environment we need to be more wary of each other than the small likelihood of picking up the virus from a surface.

Someone suggested earlier that I call the restaurant to say that I assume they are following the social distancing rules so they’d need to give us a big table. That’s not correct, restaurants have to make sure that you’re far enough from other diners/have screens in place but they’re under no obligation to give you a massive table because you’re with people you should be social distancing from, capacity in a lot of restaurants is tight as it is without having to do that.

I agree with a pp who said that a lot seems to be influenced by peers, I think that some people tend to be more inclined to think that because their friends or family are doing something that it’s okay rather than choose to understand the rules themselves. I’ve got relatives up North who have been breaking rules from the start but always justify it by saying “oh but wee Jeannie down the road had people round at hers so why shouldn’t we?”

Anyway, thanks for all the responses, I really just wanted to check that I wasn’t going mad or had completely misunderstood social distancing. I’ve pulled out of Thursday evening’s meet up but wished them all a lovely time

I had this exact conversation with DH earlier. I’m starting to see lot so of ‘post lockdown’ photos on social media of groups of people meeting up for drinks or meals and clearly not 2m apart from each other- it seems that part is forgotten now! I’ve still not been less than 2 m apart from family and friends but seems no one else’s is worried now so I feel divided as to what to do!

That’s not correct, restaurants have to make sure that you’re far enough from other diners/have screens in place but they’re under no obligation to give you a massive table because you’re with people you should be social distancing from, capacity in a lot of restaurants is tight as it is without having to do that.

The guidelines do actually says that you should take into account social distancing when choosing your seat when dining with another household and cho

Where I live in London restaurants only allow a max of 6 people per booking. I don't know of any not sticking to this.

Posted too soon! The relevant bit is that it says something along the lines of restaurants should help you with that, so in theory that could mean giving you a bigger table. I doubt many places would actually do that though, so until the guidelines change i am only going to eat out with my boyfriend (who isy support bubble) as I can't work put how I would be a able to socially distance at a restaurant table.

@PimlicoJo

Where I live in London restaurants only allow a max of 6 people per booking. I don't know of any not sticking to this.

But do they also give those 6 people a large enough table to allow different households to social distance?

@RichardMarxisinnocent thanks for that, just looked that up and I stand corrected! That’s interesting, I can’t see how it would be possible to keep a decent distance from others at your table in a lot of place but the guidance seems to read as being to try reasonable endeavours to social distance from others if you can. Again, I can see why people are confused!

@Sunnydazey

Wait people are still following the rules 🤣 I don’t know anyone who still is. Stop being so controlled everyone and enjoy life

This attitude is why plenty of people are still following the guidance and more! We can't believe/trust other people, so better to maintain SD and precautions etc. There's no way I'm going inside a pub or restaurant for the foreseeable future except where it's just our household members.

Whatever our friends/family say, you can't risk your own life getting too close to others who aren't taking Covid seriously. I've found a lot of people are lying about what they've been doing. I.e. my sister keeps trying to organise things indoors and says things like "I've not got it", "I don't go anywhere", "I've not been close to anyone else" etc but it's a pack of lies. In one breath it's "I've not been out" and then next breath she's telling me about going to The Trafford Centre with her daughter to buy clothes, then "I 've not been close..." but then says she had her two grand-daughters to stay for the weekend. She's also been going to work throughout so heaven knows how many people she's been in contact with. But she just doesn't see it.

Our neighbours have just come back from Spain but completely ignoring quarantine - life is normal for them - in and out all day, going to work, going shopping, having friends round etc. When I asked her about quarantine, she said of course they were quarantining - she must think everyone else is stupid or blind.

If this carries on into the autumn/winter when being outside in restaurants and pubs will be less possible, people like me (single person household) will find it pretty difficult to meet with anyone socially outside the home. At least couples/families will be able to eat out together.

@ListeningQuietly

Where I live the rate of COVID is 2 cases per 100,000 people

The risk of getting hit by a car is higher

I'll be careful
but not paranoid

Exponential growth. Every so many days, cases double. The higher the transmission rate, the less days to double. Before lockdown, it was about every 3 days. It's much slower now, but if you don't stop those little numbers, they become bigger numbers pretty quickly.

1
2
4
8
16 Why are we worrying about this, more chance of getting struck by lightning
32
64
128
256
512
1024 I can't believe people are making this much fuss over such a tiny percentage of the population
2048
4096
8192
16384
32768 - stop me when you think we have a problem
65536
131072 - getting some pretty big jumps here, aren't we?
262144
524288 - maybe we should have done something a bit earlier....
1048576
2097152

@mrsknottschicken

I know exactly what you mean, OP.

My child is moving school in September and someone suggested drinks with all the new class mums before the term starts, as well a meet-up for the kids. I just cannot see how that can be done in a socially-distanced way.

And when covid is rife again, people will blame the schools!

Ricardmarxisinnocent I don't know. I don't think so, and I don't know if this a legal requirement. I guess not otherwise very few restaurants would be able to open if they had to socially distance people sitting together at a table. I've only made one booking for 6 people, and I wasn't asked how many households we were from (2). Any restaurants I've been in have had fewer tables with more distance between them.

I do think the public have to take responsibility too.