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Have you let grandparents hug your children?

88 replies

Peterbishopssarcasticsmile · 03/08/2020 16:54

Just that really.
Trying to balance our risk and not sure what to do
Everyone around us seems to have more active social lives than they did before coronavirus.

OP posts:
FraterculaArctica · 03/08/2020 23:11

No. We might see them but it will be outside with social distancing. Kids have been back at school so we are high potential risk to GPs (all over 70). Grandparents haven't really even suggested meeting up let alone without social distancing.

Shinygreenelephant · 03/08/2020 23:12

Yes from the end of June we started allowing it, they're all in their 50s and not at risk, I held out longer with my great granny who is more vulnerable but once she'd spent 3 weeks in hospital all alone and managed not to catch it and all she wanted was to cuddle the baby how could I say no? Been more careful with the 11yo as she's been in school etc but the toddler hasn't been anywhere so she hugs all her grannies and they love it.

Lazypuppy · 03/08/2020 23:14

Yes.everyone has hugged my dd.there is no point trying to SD with her when she is going to nursery anyway.

We leave it up to family and friends, if they aren't happy we don't see then

TheMurk · 03/08/2020 23:15

Yes.

My friend’s mum broke her neck slipping and falling while walking her dog a few weeks ago.

Life is short. We should all be spending as much time as we can together.

FraterculaArctica · 03/08/2020 23:16

I'm not actually expecting us ever to be able to meet again with my parents in the winter months (ie when we can't meet outdoors) or for my DC ever to be able to touch their GPs again in their lifetimes to be honest.

TheMurk · 03/08/2020 23:25

@FraterculaArctica why not?

DottyDuvet · 03/08/2020 23:28

No, my baby has not had hugs from grandparents since March. The risk is smaller for children but not necessarily in infants so I'm not risking it until both myself and DH are happy to do so.

Love51 · 03/08/2020 23:38

My kids are as germy as they come, they've been to school, childcare, mixing with their dad who works outside the home (I'm mostly WFH now). I don't consider the grandparents any risk to my kids. It's more the other way round.
One set are under local lockdown, so we've only seen them on video calls. One set are very local and crap at social distancing with us, but we did their shopping for many weeks and they didn't go out. We met the third set in a park, and they informed me that if you turn the child round so you are cuddling them from behind, this is covid safe. Confused
My kids are way better at following rules than my parents / in laws. Kids in general are better at following rules than adults I seem to remember from A level psychology.

DebLou47 · 03/08/2020 23:46

@FraterculaArctica

I'm not actually expecting us ever to be able to meet again with my parents in the winter months (ie when we can't meet outdoors) or for my DC ever to be able to touch their GPs again in their lifetimes to be honest.
Very Deep Why?
Yester · 03/08/2020 23:48

No because my parents are both nearly 80. It's fucking hard though.

Nobodyputsdaisyinthecorner · 04/08/2020 01:41

My parents don’t do hugs. They never hugged me as a kid and they don’t hug the grandkids. So at least Covid doesn’t feel weird when our kids see them at a distance I guess. It took decades for that silver lining to play out

ThisIsMeOrIsIt · 04/08/2020 01:46

Yes, one set of grandparents who are only late 60s but keeping themselves to themselves otherwise. DS is 18 months. The other set who are 80, no, but that's their choice to keep a distance.

[AUTO]qwlj4kd4a0ebi · 04/08/2020 01:53

No. DD is 4 months old and was born with suspected sepsis so I am not risking her catching a virus when her little immune system isn't fully developed. Grandparents have been going to work and shops throughout the pandemic so I don't feel comfortable with any physical contact yet.

butteredbarmbrack · 04/08/2020 08:39

We live in different countries to the grandparents, with us in England, MIL in Scotland and my parents in N Ireland. However, with holiday plans scuppered, we are now on a fortnight's holiday spending a week visiting each. That involved a bit of uncertainty in the run up as to whether the differing regulations actually would allow for us to stay over - luckily they now do!

In both Scotland and N Ireland however the guidance is still to socially distance with those outside your household - we haven't hugged. The Scottish relatives are much more relaxed though than we've been (they've had quite a few people to visit their houses, and to stay; and my niece is under 11 where social distancing isn't required; we've had no one in our house apart from our cleaner, and arriving at MiL's in Scotland is the first time we've been in someone else's house for over four months).

It's lovely to see them but also feels awkward - my kids are teens so older, but DD1 can be prone to anxiety and is very much a stickler for the rules/guidance. She's been reading up to make sure she knows the guidance in the different locations (as have I) and is having to correct granny and auntie on things like still requiring to social distance even though we're able to stay over. It's all very low risk and no one has symptoms etc, and I'm confident we aren't increasing anyone's risk, but DD1 and I keep trying to maintain distance where we can and then Granny keeps getting too close e.g. trying to get past in the tiny kitchen rather than wait a moment for DD to finish up.

It's all a bit stressful - we're hoping to be outdoors as much as possible, and then at my parents' next week they have more space so that should be easier. I've also been saying to DD that we do need to relax a bit more within reason, while maintaining all the efforts where we can - she's back at school in a few weeks and will need to get used to being closer to people, and to more of them...

FraterculaArctica · 04/08/2020 14:48

For those who asked why - unless there's a vaccine, there's always going to be a risk of the kids passing the grandparents the virus if they don't socially distance, isn't there? So that means meeting only in minimal risk situations - outside and 2+ m apart.

GoneFishingAgain · 04/08/2020 14:52

Yes as soon as Nicola Sturgeon allowed it. In Scotland children under 12 don't need to distance from adults, or each other. And we feel we are all low risk.

OverTheRainbow88 · 04/08/2020 18:06

Why do people suddenly feel it’s safer because they’ve been given ‘permission’ from a higher power to do it?

VinylDetective · 04/08/2020 19:23

@OverTheRainbow88

Why do people suddenly feel it’s safer because they’ve been given ‘permission’ from a higher power to do it?
Do they? Or is it because the infection rate is now really low and deaths per day are in low double figures?
HathorX · 04/08/2020 19:25

Yes! Cuddles with the toddler. And my DD has had sleepovers during the summer hols.

OverTheRainbow88 · 04/08/2020 19:29

@VinylDetective
Obviously They do, as The above comment stated “ Yes as soon as Nicola Sturgeon allowed it.”

Lovelydovey · 04/08/2020 19:32

Yes, but only briefly. They hugged my mum around the waist when I wasn’t looking, and have done so since. I consider risk is minimal.

labyrinthloafer · 04/08/2020 19:33

No, the only set of gps in hugging range were shielding anyway, but we have now seen them.

HelloDulling · 04/08/2020 19:39

My mum, yes. She lives alone and has only seen us.

DH’s mum is shielding, and SIL has put the fear of God into her re visitors, social distancing etc. We’re still not allowed to use her loo, so DH visits her for garden chats alone.

Ginger1982 · 04/08/2020 19:40

Yes, DS stays overnight with both sets of grandparents. We (DH and I) hug my mum as she is on her own and made it first into our bubble. I don't know if DH has hugged his mum but I haven't yet (she is over 70). DS is back at nursery too now.

weepingwillow22 · 04/08/2020 19:41

No, not seen either set of grandparents since december and february. Both sets feel it is too big a risk to them. I suspect we will not see them until they are able to get vaccinated.

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