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Original poster

Have you let grandparents hug your children?

88 replies

Peterbishopssarcasticsmile · 03/08/2020 16:54

Just that really.
Trying to balance our risk and not sure what to do
Everyone around us seems to have more active social lives than they did before coronavirus.

OP posts:
mummyh2016 · 03/08/2020 17:28

Yep but the oldest grandparent is 60, mine and DH grandparents (both aged around 90) haven't been hugged.

WiseUpJanetWeiss · 03/08/2020 17:31

Yes, dm looks after my daughter while I work. I can’t afford other childcare options so this is how it has to be.

Surely this is lower risk all round than your DD going to a formal childcare setting? Assuming your DM is not in a high risk group of course.

DidSheReallySayThat20 · 03/08/2020 17:37

Yes and way before 'allowed' they live the next street and dd would see them walking past. Or we would see in passing on our walk. A 2yr old doesn't understand. Each of them were being careful so I took the minimal risk

InsaneInTheViralMembrane · 03/08/2020 17:39

My kids are currently on holiday with my dad. All having a whale of a time.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 03/08/2020 17:39

Yes, but my DM is only 51 and she's already had coronavirus.

KeepLosingThings · 03/08/2020 17:45

No, not yet

tappitytaptap · 03/08/2020 17:45

Yes, mine are back at nursery and the grandparents look after them the other two days as is our usual arrangement. We have also had the other set of grandparents round and gone to stay with them as they hadn’t seen the kids for months. Mine are 1 and 4 and wouldn’t understand no hugging. We moved in with my parents for about 3 months at the start of lockdown when there was no nursery available and formed one household. Not sure what we will do if another lockdown happens. Should add the grandparents who do the childcare wouldn’t hear of not looking after them, they are a huge part of their lives. They are in their 60s but no underlying health conditions, I’d probably have made a different choice if that were the case.

Qasd · 03/08/2020 17:46

I am seeing them next week for the first time and we agreed yes. The risk is their’s really and both mum and dad say they are perpetrated to take it as family is too important. I couldn’t really argue with them to be honest!

tappitytaptap · 03/08/2020 17:46

Almost everyone I know is allowing hugs with grandparents in ‘real life’

IloveJKRowling · 03/08/2020 17:47

After both parties doing nothing bar shopping delivery for two weeks and driving up without stopping to use the toilet, yes.

I think lots of people are 'isolating' as far as possible for 2 weeks then bubbling with grandparents for a visit. Not everyone lives close enough to only meet up outside (or even visit in a day) and particularly where gp mental health suffering . I've known several families do this. It seems reasonable to me - only possible when kids not in school though.

OverTheRainbow88 · 03/08/2020 18:06

Yup, even the odd kiss!

Flynn999 · 03/08/2020 18:09

Yeh, ds is only 4, he doesn’t really understand the whole Covid thing, and he wouldn’t understand that he’s not allowed to hug grandparents.

None of us are vulnerable, had we been that may have changed our decision but grandparents have been happily isolating anyway. Both off work/online shopping etc. If they had been going to midnight raves we would have probably declined the visit :)

Jrobhatch29 · 03/08/2020 18:26

Yes all 4 have, all in their 50s

PotatoPlant · 03/08/2020 18:33

We have recently caved and the DC have hugged one set of grandparents. The other set are more vulnerable and live much further away.

I was worried about further restrictions coming so wanted to give the opportunity for hugs now over the summer.

Flumo · 03/08/2020 18:34

Yes both sets of grandparents and 1 great grandparent.

Pashazade · 03/08/2020 18:42

Yes, it's such a keystone of our family that I can't imagine it not happening after not seeing each other for four months. I checked first though and it was their decision.

Dededa · 03/08/2020 19:37

No. We’re trying really hard to stick to the guidelines because while I feel the risk to us as individuals is low, it’s sticking to the rules is the only way we can manage the overall risk as a society. It’s also really important for us in terms of getting our 5yo to actually stick to the rules when back at school - not sure how we’d be able to encourage adherence if we were blatantly doing things against them ourselves.

OfUselessBooks · 03/08/2020 19:43

Yes we have, it's the only rule we have broken and we are very careful, as are they. I'm not working and dh works alone so we are very rarely in contact with other people. We only started this week as we will need their help with childcare for various reasons soon so thought we may as well. I do think that the government should build this into their planning - it's unfeasible to not see them for potentially months and it's endless at the moment.

eternalopt · 03/08/2020 19:54

We're in wales so rules are slightly different. They hugged one set a while ago when we were allowed to "extend our household" to include them. The other set have waited until today when under 11s in Wales no longer have to socially distanced when outdoors, so they can hug grandparents in the garden! It was lovely.

eternalopt · 03/08/2020 19:54

5&7 yrs olds btw. Not sure what advice is on babies as I don't have one!

eternalopt · 03/08/2020 19:56

Not sure how much longer the second set of grandparents could have resisted had rules in Wales not changed today mind!

KitKatastrophe · 03/08/2020 20:50

Yes
Grandparents, great grandparents and great great grandparents (excepting two who are shielding).
They are competent adults who are capable of assessing their own level of risk. The risk to me and my children is very low, I am not concerned. They are the ones at risk and it's a risk they're willing to take in order to spend quality time with the grandchildren while they can.

KitKatastrophe · 03/08/2020 20:53

Hell yes, but they are all our "bubble", 4 months is long enough, so massive hugs with both sets of grandparents and husbands parents are also childcare.

I have absolutely no issue with your parents seeing your kids. However dont try and pretend that you're following the rules by making a "bubble". You cant bubble with two sets of grandparents, only with one single adult household. You're breaking the rules just like the rest of us Grin

Givemeallthewine · 03/08/2020 20:56

Yes.
Feel exactly the same as @KitKatastrophe about it.

DebLou47 · 03/08/2020 23:07

@tappitytaptap

Yes, mine are back at nursery and the grandparents look after them the other two days as is our usual arrangement. We have also had the other set of grandparents round and gone to stay with them as they hadn’t seen the kids for months. Mine are 1 and 4 and wouldn’t understand no hugging. We moved in with my parents for about 3 months at the start of lockdown when there was no nursery available and formed one household. Not sure what we will do if another lockdown happens. Should add the grandparents who do the childcare wouldn’t hear of not looking after them, they are a huge part of their lives. They are in their 60s but no underlying health conditions, I’d probably have made a different choice if that were the case.
Me too my boys have such a strong bond with my parents they are 72 and 74 but very very healthy and fit .... I did not want to but my mum was going into depression and she does not suffer and my son was suffering too