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Original poster

Is anyones teenager finding it really hard as friends partying?

30 replies

Molly333 · 02/08/2020 18:03

Hello we are following all the guidelines here and so is my son but finding it really hard as all he's seeing on social media is people his age meeting up in large groups partying ?

OP posts:

mooshie06 · 02/08/2020 22:41

Yes! Our teens are finding it so so hard, with many many of their friends meeting up in both large and small groups, no social distancing, even having sleepovers. We are asthmatic so they are sticking to the rules but I worry how friendships will be affected when schools resume as my teens have missed out on these shared mass gatherings 😢

LilyPond2 · 02/08/2020 22:42

My DS and DD are lucky that they have friends who are also being relatively cautious. But I know from them that others in their age group are not being careful, so I do sympathise with teens whose friendship groups aren't taking the virus seriously.

Original poster

Molly333 · 02/08/2020 22:46

I know of a large group of teenagers going on a camping holiday ,all from different homes :(
i do think the fact that lots of teenagers do not watch the news so the seriousness is not being conveyed by the right medium strongly enough ....

OP posts:

Bitchinkitchen · 02/08/2020 22:49

@Molly333

I know of a large group of teenagers going on a camping holiday ,all from different homes :( i do think the fact that lots of teenagers do not watch the news so the seriousness is not being conveyed by the right medium strongly enough ....

What the fuck are their parents doing then?

Zandathepanda · 02/08/2020 22:52

Yep and one of the socialites had the embarrassing task of phoning everyone up to say she had the virus. Luckily she didn’t pass it on to anyone else and her symptoms were mild.

Pipandmum · 02/08/2020 22:54

My son hangs out with friends but always outside. They are not 2m apart but neither are they hugging or having any physical contact, except his girlfriend.
My daughter has been very strict but has met up with friends outside too. Pretty much keeping their distance too.
There haven't been any parties near us.

jackstini · 02/08/2020 23:10

We stopped dd (14) from attending a sleepover last weekend with 5 other girls
Shocked all the other parents allowed it
Really felt for her, but stuck to our guns and she understood

OldFloweryCardigan · 02/08/2020 23:12

I know of a large group of teenagers going on a camping holiday ,all from different homes....

What the fuck are their parents doing then?

My 18 year old is doing this. I really don't like it, but she is an adult, has worked almost full time in a supermarket throughout lockdown, from the day after A-levels were cancelled and has earned the money to pay for it. What can I do to stop her? At least they'll be outside, better that than a bar in Corfu

She feels less vulnerable because she's been braving the world every day since 23rd March, unlike me and DP who have been working full time from home and hardly seen a soul in 4 months. Thankfully we live in a fairly low Corona area (at the moment it is anyway).

Of course I worry about her bringing something home to us - but I also understand how many rites of passage she has missed out on and am not going to kick up a stink about this one and ruin our relationship just before she disappears off to Uni.

girlofthenorth · 02/08/2020 23:15

Yes DD16 finding it hard, esp having missed out on prom and post GCSE parties, camping , festivals etc. I think, but can't be certain,she is distancing, but we let her stay with friend this week. All I'm seeing is them all NOT distancing on SM.Alternative is I don't let her out, but I know this would wreck her mental health. She does understand though , and I'm asking her to use her judgement and be safe to the best of her ability . She goes out with her wipes, hand San, mask .

nether · 02/08/2020 23:18

Yes, shielding is paused.

But large-scale parties are just no.

So still missing out.

Fortunately, nice friends are happy to forego the parties too and meet in smaller, safer, adequately distanced groups, so it's not quite continuing isolation (which would de facto have been the case if everyone was breaching rules except the newly deshielded)

QOD · 02/08/2020 23:21

My dd is working full time. Left home mid pandemic to work in a hospital...
And yep. Shares photos of groups of up to 30 - which is legal BUT THEY ARENT SOCIAL DISTANCING
she’s 21. She’s left home. I just worry.

frustrationcentral · 02/08/2020 23:24

Fortunately all of DS's friends are being pretty sensible, they're all desperate for a party but are holding off. They're meeting up, outdoors and whilst maybe not social distancing they stay away from each other. I know there are parties going on, but luckily these aren't teens who are that friendly with DS so he isn't bothered

GraveyardKate · 02/08/2020 23:27

I have encouraged mine to meet their friends in the fresh air, in countryside and parks. They have not been to any indoor events or parties to my knowledge. I don't know how good their social distancing is (probably not as good as it should be) but at least they're outside in places where there is usually plenty of space to spread out. They understand the risks, take sanitiser with them and always wash their hands the second they get home.
I think it's really important for young people to have some sociability and normality in as safe a way as possible (if they want it - not all teenagers do).

Rainmr · 03/08/2020 10:09

My 18-year-Olds friendship group are the opposite and still not even meeting up face to face outside. They wouldn't go to a bar. My daughter has only left the house once since her last day of school. She seems happy enough and talks a lot to her friends on FaceTime but they are all overly cautious even though they will be going away for uni in a few week's time. I think it would be nice for them all if they would meet up for a coffee outside or something low risk.

GraveyardKate · 03/08/2020 12:35

@Rainmr
Do you worry about how she will cope being independent in the outside world in September, having hardly been outside in so long?
There's no right or wrong to it, and in many ways I applaud yours for being so sensible, but I have been keen for my DD of the same age to have some (limited) social interaction for this exact reason, even if it puts the risk level up a bit for the rest of our household. Unless there are underlying conditions, the risk to them personally, at that age, is minuscule.

user1487194234 · 03/08/2020 13:19

If they are 17/18 then there is nothing much parents can do I suppose

labyrinthloafer · 03/08/2020 13:24

Yes mine got annoyed about this, apparently a sub-group of his friends are saying as they'll be a bubble in September they may as well start now.

He's annoyed because he wants the virus to stay low so he can go to school!

Ontopofthesunset · 03/08/2020 13:36

I have one teenager and one early 20s at home. They were both extremely diligent for the first few months of lockdown. They are now socialising more normally - initially they were all meeting up outside and then in friends' gardens, but they are now going inside houses and although in smallish groups (6 -8) they are definitely not from only two households.

To be honest I think it is fine and unreasonable to expect them not to go out at all. DH and I are the only people at real risk from them and since we had the virus at the end of March and both boys were living with us throughout our illness we are all pretty sanguine about their likelihood of getting it.

Andi2020 · 03/08/2020 13:55

@Molly333 its very hard for everyone.
At age 16-20 they want to be with friends at parties more than with parents.
Covid19 is not going away overnight we need to learn how to cope with it.
It will affect mental health if all their friends go to parties and they dont
My dd has 2 different big groups off friends one from school one from hobby
I asked her to just pick one off them and stick to that group rather than completely isolating.
They meet up outside in gardens
But not always social distance as teenagers love photos.
I think going in a supermarket is not much different to a teenager gatherings as people lift something put it down another person lifts it.
Trolleys you have to push them to get sanitizer at door so you have already handled it before sanitizing.

downwardspiral1 · 03/08/2020 13:57

My 14 year old was invited to a camping sleepover and would have been one of 8 from different households. Parents assuring us that the friend of theirs who runs the campsite works for the NHS and had said it was safe .

I said no to my dd going (she does see friends on a one to one basis) and it really drove a wedge between us, but I am so glad I did say no now what with spikes and young people catching it more.

Annoyed with those parents for putting other parents in the position of having to say no and can’t they read the guidelines??

ikeairgin · 03/08/2020 14:31

My son had his 18th birthday party last week. At home, in the garden with 15 other friends. We have a gardeners loo so no-on came in the house and I went to costco and bought a lot of individual snack portions (think pringles small packs and the like)

We provided hand sanitiser and they all came through the back gate.

It was a quiet affair, sound went down at 11 and they had all left by 1am

ikeairgin · 03/08/2020 14:32

Posted too soon - I wouldn't let them sleepover or come in the house - that's a step too far for me, and I work in a supermarket

sirfredfredgeorge · 03/08/2020 15:33

i do think the fact that lots of teenagers do not watch the news so the seriousness is not being conveyed by the right medium strongly enough ....

I'm sure they watch the news, know exactly how serious it is, and exactly how little risk it is to themselves, and know exactly how to prevent it spreading to people who are at risk. So they won't go visiting granny, they'll socially distance from everyone else, they'll isolate with symptoms, they'll participate in track and trace.

Teenagers and kids aren't stupid, they know their own risk from COVID is so insanely low that it's not worth a seconds thought - just like crossing the road. They also know their own risks to social isolation, to depression etc. Their own risks to simply ignoring any self care as they never leave the house.

Rainmr · 03/08/2020 16:51

[quote GraveyardKate]@Rainmr
Do you worry about how she will cope being independent in the outside world in September, having hardly been outside in so long?
There's no right or wrong to it, and in many ways I applaud yours for being so sensible, but I have been keen for my DD of the same age to have some (limited) social interaction for this exact reason, even if it puts the risk level up a bit for the rest of our household. Unless there are underlying conditions, the risk to them personally, at that age, is minuscule.[/quote]
I would like her to go out more and think it will be better to get used to social distancing in shops and coffee shops etc in her home town, as she will be moving to another city, she's going to Edinburgh. I can't force her and all her friendship group are the same and reluctant to go out. My primary school-aged children have been out more than she has.

threecats333 · 03/08/2020 17:05

You do know they won't be socially distancing at secondary school in September so seems pointless to stop them meeting when they are going to be stuck int the same room as each other for 7 hours a day.

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