Anyone else just really struggling right now...

[Dickorydockwhatthe]

It just seems to be endless, nothing to look forward to not even Christmas. Weather has turned miserable and I just feel like I'm going stir crazy with it all. The kids are even looking forward to going back to school.

Yes I am I am existing not living

That sounds tough. I try not to think too far ahead. Could you plan a day trip or a camping trip away? Meet up with friends?

I feel ok at the moment but I think it’s because I try not to worry as it’s out of my control. What helps me is lots of exercise, fresh air, a few things to look forward to in the diary, chatting with friends, things for me like a body lotion/facial at home/painting my nails and patting and walking my dog, new series on Netflix/podcasts.

How old are your children?

12 and 15 so both a difficult age anyway. Our holidays been cancelled like many others, my 40th birthday is soon so feeling a bit down about that as really wanted to go away but plans have also been cancelled. I just feel really flat to be honest.

Yes! Single parent 2 DC one with ASN trying to wfh since March and looking after elderly parents too. I am just absolutely exhausted Have nothing to say to anyone because I haven't done anything. They haven't done anything. Try to meet up and people say it's too dangerous. I fear some people aren't going to go out for years.

Yes. I found my self in the kitchen, cooking tea while drinking a beer (which I hate) and trying to hold back tears today.
I'm so fed up with it. I'm fed up of making plans only for every single one of them to fail.
I'm sick of dragging the poor kids out on walks every day, just got something to do. I'm eating everything that isn't pinned down. I just feel so out of control right now and I can't see an end to it. I'm having a bad day today. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Yes
I've realised how alone I am
I've realised I hate how young I look and so consequently don't have this 'prescence' that everyone else seems to have so people don't take you seriously
And no confidence
Better to realise it now I guess

Yes. I'm so lonely. All my usual activities have stopped and this has revealed the gaping absence of any really close friends, the few friends I have are in the next town and I don't drive, plus they are busy and have their own lives and families. I'm a single parent homeschooling a kid with suspected ASD and I work from home all the time anyway. I'm so low level fed up and sad.

I know this will pass but it's shit until it does. And I now know I need to make more friends.

@DebLou47

Yes I am I am existing not living

Yep, surviving not thriving!

I’m feeling better as restrictions have begun to ease. I’m in my 20s and feel like I’ll end up wasting a year of my life as all my goals are currently on hold

Yes. I have peaks and troughs. Mainly troughs right now. It's so fucking hard to try and pretend to be positive for the kids - aged 19 and 12 - and that mask keeps on cracking. Its fucking shit. I'm worried about my job, my sisters cancer treatment, my teeth are falling out through receding gums, my mums turned into a reclusive alcoholic, I've had to mute 90% of my friends on Facebook as I realise I hate them. Actually I'll stop there...

Yes me too. Utterly fed up with it all. I've been flat-out working on COVID work since April and am just exhausted with everything. Tired of angry emails at work, tired of feeling undermined, tired of my stupid accent and people not taking me seriously because of it. Tired of feeling guilty my children watches too much TV and my dg with a speech delay watching stories where the characters don't even speak. I can't even get to 5000 steps, I used to do 5000 just on the way to work. Tired of having to feel grateful for what we have. am grateful, this is still shit! Also scared of when I will be allowed to travel to visit my elderly parents. Im just fed up.

Really struggling. I’m single and 36...id really hoped this might have been the year I’d finally meet the right man to start a family with. The longer the lockdown the less my chances of ever having a baby are. To make it worse all my friends are pregnant. I’m off work now until October. Everyday is like being in prison. I just feel so low, angry and bitter. I’ve piled on the weight and can’t do any of my hobbies as they are group activities and quite social.

Like others, I feel like a year has been stolen from me. Sorry for the moan...just really struggling. Health wise I’m quite vulnerable too and have Shielding parents.

Yes definitely can relate to the endless walks as nothing else to do except that and eat so have put loads of weight on and feel so feel shit. I struggled with my mental health before and my my job which I also hate but know I should be greatful I have one, but those little things to look forward are the things that help you through and yet there's nothing.

This is a very sad thread. Sorry to hear all then hardships people are enduring. It’s not been an easy year.

People around the world are working on this with resources and dedication like nothing we’ve ever seen. There will be some good news very soon.

Yes, I'm struggling a bit too. I've been on furlough for 3 months and have barely seen anyone except DH for most of that time. We get on well but sometimes we clash as our home is not spacious and it's difficult being with each other 24/7 for weeks on end. We don't have much to talk about as we're both in furlough limbo and I know he finds my conversation boring at times (it is boring - I have nothing much to talk about except gardening, which is my hobby, but he doesn't share it). DH plays golf, so has some social interaction, but I have no social life of any sort really. Most days I go out for a long walk, which I enjoy and it gives us both space from each other, but today I just couldn't be bothered.

I'd love to get together for a proper natter with a close friend, but the few friends I have don't live locally, and in any case are wrapped up with their own families. The loneliness is hard to deal with, and the uncertainty of not knowing when or if I will ever return to work is not helping. I miss my work, and the contact with work colleagues. I also miss my mother, who died 4 years ago. Before she became old and frail she used to love to natter about TV programmes or stories she'd seen on the news or in magazines. She'd ring me up and chat for an hour most days, about nothing important, and sometimes it #could be frustrating when I had things to do, but now I'd love to hear her voice again and have a long chat with her. Sometimes I think I wouldn't mind if Covid ends my life, because I might get to see her again. I'm not suicidal, but am really missing her right now.

I feel a lot better now, we can do a lot more things. I took DS to the cinema the other week and we're meeting friends for brunch later and going bowling this weekend. Parks are open now too. Can you do anything like that?

I hated lockdown with a passion. DS struggled with the homeschooling so I'm bloody relieved that's over.

Yes, totally fucked off I have no control over my life.

Anxiously waiting to hear about redundancy, means can't book anything to do with the kids in case we need the money.

Waiting to hear my event is taking place in September that I'm training really hard for.

Can't even book a bloody swim session at the local pool as I'm waiting!

I just want my life back :(

I am so down now, think with some post natal depression thrown in. My two older kids just fight none stop now after being together for 5 months. They are eating breakfast and all I can hear is "stop looking at me". It is relentless!
Everything is such hard work. We booked the zoo and went on monday. However we had to book weeks on advance without knowing the weather and it lashed down all day.
I am sick of the relentless bad news that is impossible to escape. I am so relieved home schooling is over, that was horrendous. It was so lonely when my partner went back to work in may and I was left alone with two kids and a newborn. No lovely baby classes or anything, just home schooling two fighting kids. It is all just shit.

I’d just started to get out a bit more but I hate the masks so much - more because they are yet another reminder of how much the world has changed - that I’ll be limiting how much I go out again for the moment.

I do have a hair cut booked today which I am looking forward to - I’d needed one before lockdown so four months on my hair is horrible. Hopefully that’ll make me feel better today. I also plan to go to local beach tomorrow - Which is a short drive away - that’ll probably be as far as I go this summer though.

It’s been a strange and lonely year. Feel bad for my children as they have been bored and lonely for months too.

Our cinemas and bowling have yet to open. My gym has opened but not letting child members use it yet so can't use the pool together. I feel so fed up and lonely even though I have people around me. Even going to the shop is a faff and seeing people with masks definitely brings reality back home. I really feel for those whose jobs look uncertain 😔

@purpleme12

Yes I've realised how alone I am I've realised I hate how young I look and so consequently don't have this 'prescence' that everyone else seems to have so people don't take you seriously And no confidence Better to realise it now I guess

Purpleme12 Ive never heard anyone else say this. Totally unrelated to corona but I have always thought that because I look a lot younger than I am I have not got any sort of an 'adult' air to me. I feel like I don't get taken seriously because of it. I try to buy adult clothes etc but I always feel like I look stupid and like I'm "dressing up" so then I feel less confident. Just thought I'd say you're not alone there.

It’s really difficult and has been for a long time. I just keep telling myself, nothing lasts forever, everything is temporary. Look after yourselves.

Yes, this is sooo much worse than the lockdown part of life. I got through that as it felt a short term thing where we couldnt leave the house and I filled my days with excersise and diy and wfh. Now though it feels soooo flat. We do try and get out and about to pubs and restaurants at the weekend to support local businesses.

But I get up, wfh, read, cook, eat dinner, go to bed day in l day out. Our wedding was cancelled, our mini moon cancelled, our big honeymoon has been cancelled.

We have now booked a holiday abroad in a few weeks as with literally nothing to look forward to except maybe the small chance by winter we might be able to have Christmas I was starting to feel suicidal.

@Jrobhatch29

I am so down now, think with some post natal depression thrown in. My two older kids just fight none stop now after being together for 5 months. They are eating breakfast and all I can hear is "stop looking at me". It is relentless! Everything is such hard work. We booked the zoo and went on monday. However we had to book weeks on advance without knowing the weather and it lashed down all day. I am sick of the relentless bad news that is impossible to escape. I am so relieved home schooling is over, that was horrendous. It was so lonely when my partner went back to work in may and I was left alone with two kids and a newborn. No lovely baby classes or anything, just home schooling two fighting kids. It is all just shit.

Oh god, I feel for you, feel lucky touch wood with the stage of life this is currently falling into. Three kids is so bloody tough at first - it gets better all the time, promise! My mum always says after a month they’re as a group three months older so progress can have fits and bursts - I think she was heavily deluded but it was an idea I sometime clung too. Somehow we just have to get through to Christmas then we will be over the hump I reckon! Tales for the grandchildren but thoroughly crap now.

Definitely struggling here. Single mum, 41, working from home since March with 4 kids 4,6,14 and 21 - eldest has MH issues. Homeschooling was a nightmare, I'm covering people at work who've been furloughed, put on a 4 day week with reduced pay but given double the work to do. My mum got furloughed from a minimum wage hospitality job so I'm subsidising her bills as she was already on the breadline.

I'm on my knees with tiredness, thankfully I have a week off coming up. Cant afford to go away even for a caravan break - that's a combination of my pay cut and prices shooting through the roof so will be lazing at home where we've already spent the past six months.

Kids go back to school in September which will give me more headspace to get through work in the day but I cant afford their wraparound care as the price has doubled, so I've got to work around school drop off and pick ups.

I've tried going out recently but the wearing of a mask makes me really anxious like I'm panicking because I cant breathe, so I've gone back to online shopping as I wouldn't not wear a mask in the supermarkets. We've met up for a few picnics with friends the past few weeks which has been nice, and my kids have been absolute stars but it doesn't stop me crying pretty much every night because every days the same and there feels like nothing to look forward to.

But I recognise that people out there have lost loved ones, and I am supremely grateful that I've not had to experience that.

So glad I read this thread to know I'm not alone. I feel so frustrated with everything, we seem to take 1 step forward followed by 10 steps back. I'm 35 weeks pregnant with our first baby and keeping thinking I wish I could go back in time and change our decisions. This is no world to bring her into. I feel so guilty.