I’ve gone inside a shop in 4 months

[MyNameWas]

And now not very happy with my decision. We went into M&S all three in my family were masked and so were the shoppers in simply food. However the place was heaving and no social distancing was in place. I was there for about 10-12 mind , came home and washed hands/and the bits I picked up. Now I cannot shake the feeling that I might have picked something up...

I was our family's designated shopper during lockdown, went every 5-7 days during it. Tried to make sure I only went at quiet times. I went back to work for limited hours in May and full time in June. I've been fine, but I did find it quite scary the one time I went shopping at a busier time of day, I didn't enjoy the experience at all. I'm still trying to go grocery shopping at quiet times and I find wearing a mask, using hand sanitiser and washing hands when I get home makes me feel reasonably comfortable. I went to our nearest shopping centre last weekend for the first time in months and I don't think I'll go back for a while, it just didn't feel right. I can easily understand how you could feel extremely anxious about this if you've not been out for months.

Drama-Thank you for being so understanding

No I’m not high risk but I’m in the BAME category and vitamin d deficient.

I work full time in a supermarket and have done so throughout without any PPE. We practice regular hand washing and go through ridiculous amounts of hand sanitiser and so far we've all been fine and there's over 200 of us. A lot of people come in and are scared on their first visit so you are not alone.

Work through this panic attack before thinking of the next steps.

I agree with a pp that the longer you avoid the harder it will be. As I said previously you kind of went head first into it, which is to be commended, but unsurprising that it was too much.

Break it down. Do you have a local shop? Maybe go there and wait outside whilst your DH goes in. When that feels ok, go into the shop, even if you have to come straight back out again and build up from there.

A shop where you can pretty much always see the exit, might be more comfortable than the food hall where you go right in. Wear a mask, use sanister and wash your hands fully when you get in, don't kiss the till assistant and you've done everything you can to reduce your risks. Come back for long distanced handholds.

You can do this.

I think you need to try and go little and often - I know it must be scary having not been for so long but it's real life and we have to return eventually. Maybe try at a quieter time of day on your own eg in the evening, or a smaller local shop?

When he saw the crowds he picked my daughter and stepped out..and I was stuck inside!
Why didnt you just step out with him if it was so bad?

I was midway the self checkout...couldn’t really dump everything and run

Logically the risks are very low. We've come a long way since March. Cases tend to be clustered in institutions such as hospitals, care homes or crowded workplaces with poor distancing and precautions. So cases are about 1:3000 as an average... but the actual chance of exposure to someone in the community is far lower... plus you are not in prolonged exposure to the risk of actually catching the virus is very low from that brief passing. Even without social distancing, you don't tend to be rubbing up in the face of strangers.
We are now talking odds that make a lottery ticket seem like a good investment.

Some areas have had barely any cases for a prolonged period. Look up ONS maps to find out your local situation (you probably would have known if you are in a hotspot anyway)

Pick a quiet time. Evenings tend to be good. They are naturally quiet then anyway and social distancing is a non-issue.

Pick somewhere small and just get one or two things so you can have a sucessful mission within 2 minutes. Build up until your confidence returns. You've managed successfully without even thinking about it every flu season.

Give it another go in a few days and good luck.

Thank you for that BogRoll

I think once I calm my panic attacks I can think logically...not my head is not allowing me to go past the thought process of the fact that I might have been exposed..

Just to put this slightly into perspective...

My DH and I are frontline Police and NHS. We've been working throughout, with very little PPE and no socal distancing. My DS has been at school for the last month, and my toddler has returned to nursery - no SD. We have met friends in the park and our garden - same line of work and our SD lapsed after drinks. We have been food and clothes shopping. We have been to the safari park and the zoo. We have been to pubs and restaurants. We have been to the beach and National Trust. We have met up with family who have worked throughout in NHS, police and factories.

None of us have caught it.

The chance of you catching it in that tiny amount of time, wearing masks, is miniscule.

I haven’t been into a shop since March 16th. Tonight, I went into a local pub, wearing a mask (which felt very odd as nobody else at all was wearing one) to pick up takeaway food. Felt very overwhelmed and didn’t enjoy the experience at all, as there was zero social distancing going on, people crowded around the entrance smoking who made no effort to move out of anyone’s way and staff who didn’t seem altogether sure what the rules were. It took me all my time to go in, but I told myself I was being paranoid and silly, but I won’t be in a hurry to do it again.

May I suggest next time going early evening. Its much quieter from 7pm onwards...

10storey - thank you for the post. It did make me feel a little better reading that.

40something - it’s awful isn’t it? I just don’t understand the selfish attitude of people. Yes the economy needs to open, yes schools need to open and yes people need to go back to jobs. However unfortunately until we know how this virus mutates into winter there is no way you can just pretend that the last few months didn’t happen and carry on. Masks and social distancing isn’t asking for much...

grey - yes in hindsight should not have gone on a Saturday- I think this has dented my confidence a lot. I’ll be very anxious the next 5/7 days looking for every small symptom and fingers crossed if I escape this time I don’t see myself going into a shop again this year....

OP good for you for going, it you haven't been in many months it's not surprising that you found it unsettling. The chances of you having caught something are statistically so tiny, but until you do this more and more it will likely remain a really scary thing in your head. Maybe go earlier or later next time?

I did the same last week. After shielding throughout I have taken slow steps to going out. Even though shielding isn't supposed to end until 1st August I felt it might be safer now than after a few weeks of restrictions eased.
I wasn't frightened and felt perfectly safe but so so sad at how the world has changed. This might sound odd to those who have been going out and about since March and have got used to it but I've only seen it on TV.

Op if you are BAME (which I am too) you must take Vit D supplements and get out into the sunshine.
You are responsible for this.

I would also seek treatment/meditation for your anxiety - the virus is going to be around for a very long time and if you want to leave your house again you are going
To have to be able to rationalise the risk.

I've been in the supermarket many many times before masks were mandatory and I'm fine. Supernarjets tend to be quite soacious snd you're never bear the same person for more than 30 seconds so personally I think the risk there is low. Pubs and cafes which tend to be smaller with more people in static positions giving time for their germs to circulate are far more dangerous in my opinion.

I totally get it OP, I’ve not been in a shop since 22nd March and am nervous about going out. I’ve got a hairdresser appt booked for next week and am considering cancelling BUT I then think back to the normal life I was living in early March, back then when we were all shopping, commuting etc. were were far more likely to catch the virus but most of us didn’t.

It is scary though, I was nervous the first time I drove to my mums a couple of weeks ago. My husband is shielding as is my mum so she is now in our bubble.

For me baby steps will be the way forward, planning a quick visit to the shops at a quiet time and building up from there.

Slow and steady and in no time you’ll be fine 😊

lol that should say 'supermarkets tend to be quite spacious and you're never near the same person....' Terrible typos!

@MyNameWas I’m very vulnerable (but not advised to shield) and went shopping for the first time since March this week. I went into four shops to get things I needed.

And M&S simply food was the only place where it felt difficult and stressful. My parents have been shopping on and off (getting most stuff online) and they said it was the worst place they’ve been for people following safety measures.

Try somewhere else? What really helped me was several people who had been going shopping mentioned when seemed to be quiet so I went then.

@MyNameWas

I understand that I’m being irrational but I’m having a full blown panic attack now..I just need to go and shut myself somewhere...

It is real to you though OP and that shouldn’t be belittled.

All you can do is take the precautions advised and follow all the safety advice you can. Try not to worry too much about what other people are doing, I know that is hard. As someone else said already though - it will get easier the more you do it.

You have taken a big step going into the shop, pat yourself on the back for managing to do that in the first place. Baby steps.

karma - I do, whenever the sun is out I make sure I catch as much as possible/ I eat healthy- all my meals are home cooked, I don’t even have takeaways, my husband buys them but I’ve not eaten one for ages now, I go for runs in the evening in g after work and do mini workout with my daughter in the morning. I put all this in place know that I struggle with anxiety and panic attacks and didn’t really need this right now...

paris glad it wasn’t just me who felt that way about M&S simply food. Yes I could have thrown the towel and walked out but I’ve got this brain which goes into ‘task’ mode when I pick a job. I then find it very difficult to back away from the task without completing it...

god op get a grip

ilove I get it that it sounds silly to you but try to understand it from the angle of someone who has anxiety and panic attacks...yes it’s not rational thinking but you get into a Jekyll and Hyde mode at its like your arguing against yourself...and most times the anxiety and panic wins.. yes I would love to get a grip and trying too...but it’s not easy