Is catching Covid inevitable?

[Beebityboo]

Gotten myself in to a bit of an anxious mess tonight. I'm vulnerable to Covid and have been desperately trying to think of ways to completely minimise the risk to myself and my DC's. Do you think too much caution is pointless? Is it inevitable we will all get this unless we literally go in to a bunker for a year or more?
DH was meant to be going to a house viewing tomorrow but I'm begging him to cancel as it will mean getting a taxi which I feel is a huge risk.
With the news about masks being needed for at least a year is this just how my life will be? Hiding in terror from a virus that may kill me at 33? Being terrified every time one of the DC's gets a cough or a temp?
I just feel that I can be as cautious as I want but if I want my DH and DC's to have any quality of life at all I need to find a way of accepting (and not being constantly terrified of) this real risk to our health. I don't know how to live in this "new normal" I'm not brave enough for it .

www.covid19survivalcalculator.com/en/result/Anonymous_female/13/0.24

Sorry you're anxious op, no getting Coronavirus isn't inevitable at all and getting seriously ill is even less likely. If this link works not too good at the technical stuff! Give this calculator a try. I found it incredibly reassuring as the odds were much lower than I thought. Plus there's plenty you can do to lower those odds:
Maintain social distance, practise good hygiene, stay out of doors or if that's impossible near good ventilation, avoid busy or crowded areas, wear a mask, keep yourself healthy.

To me, it's all about balance. Be sensible but don't live in fear. Honestly the chances are that you either won't get it or it'll be a mild illness that's a nuisance for a while.

Thank you for trying to reassure me. I just find it so difficult as I have a rare health condition and no one seems to know what will happen if I get it. It makes me more prone to blood clots which doesn't sound great considering Covid causes clots in younger people sometimes.
My anxiety is just completely out of control to be honest.

I don’t think it’s inevitable. I’ve never had a number of things that are free-range.

Verucca, wart, cold sore, nits, impetigo, the list goes on.

I don’t know if that’s reassuring or not but I hope so x

Sending lots of sympathy. I’ve been super anxious about catching it and suffered huge anxiety about it and I don’t have any under lying health conditions. The anxiety is horrible isn’t it. Have you considered having any counselling to help you to deal with the situation you’re in? I’ve recently started CBT and it’s really helped me to realise that I can’t control absolutely everything in relation to this. We are still being really careful but it’s helped to remove some of the anxiety. I don’t yet know anyone who has had it and I think once we get past this winter we will hopefully have a better handle on it. I was reading the other day that studies have shown that there don’t appear to be any cases of children passing it to adults, I know that helped to put my mind at ease a little about school in September. Try and remember that many older vulnerable people have survived this and the number of people in your age group who have died from this is absolutely minimal when you look at how many people live here so it’s likely that if you did get it you’d be ok. Add to that that so much more is now known about it and that due to being vulnerable you’d now likely get early intervention and close monitoring if required too. I know it’s a really scary time and all the uncertainty and what ifs are so hard to live with but hopefully things will improve and in the short term it’s trying to find a way to not live in fear as hard as that may be. Look after yourself, make sure you’re in the best possible health and that you’re taking reasonable precautions but try and step away from reading too much. Once I’d slightly let go of having absolutely everything with in my control I realised that this isn’t a situation I can fully control and that if I were to die of it I’d hate to have spent so much time so anxious about it. Sending you a big hug.

Sending sympathy because I’m at a huge risk of blood clots too ( as are my kids). I’m trying to push boundaries safely... trying different local walks and takeaways then hopefully a shop with a mask to ease in. I won’t go as far as mixing indoors without masks though. It’s so hard. Hugs.

I don't think it's inevitable if people take prevention seriously. And as previous posters have said, survival rates are far higher than you'd think. Try that calculator for someone who is in their eighties an you'll be surprised. This treatment sounds like a game changer too:

www.bbc.com/news/health-53467022

People are focused on coronavirus right now, but remembering all the usual risks still exist and we don't spend our lives worrying about them helps to keep things in proportion.

Hi,I am so sorry you have this to worry about.

I think it isn't inevitable, no. I also think that as treatments develop, catching it will become less of a risk (hopefully). I'm treating the vaccine as 'wouldnt it be great but no point waiting for it'

I think the other thing they seemed to think was a factor was 'viral load' so medical staff were at affected as exposed to such high amounts of virus when treating patients.

I would suggest a few things. Firstly be kind to yourself, your health condition means it is quite natural to be worried. You can improve this but not overnight and not likely by giving yourself a hard time. A longer view of reducing anxiety generally will help. Covid is new but fear of illness/dying is age old.

Secondly, decide what you do and don't have to and want to do. Then release what you're not doing it and make the most of what you are doing. Prioritise the really important things. So school is likely to happen, if you decide to send your children back, you may want to reduce other risks.

Thirdly, break time into smaller chunks. What are you doing the next six weeks? Then review. Things with this virus change. So imo there's no point thinking about Christmas yet, we could be anywhere from current levels to full second spike. You can trust that you will respond sensibly.

Remember - everyone is dealing with this and no one has a clue. The very brave people are no more knowledgeable than anyone else, and underneath plenty of them are bricking themselves too! For some overconfidence is not a sign of no fear, it is just the way they deal with fear.

Good luck.

* Disclaimer: I also don't have a clue and swing from serene to stressed and back again non-stop!

Thanks for the link, ChristmasInJune. Personally I came out with a 5% chance of catching Covid and a miniscule chance of dying of it.

Not inevitable no. Before any social distancing etc I've managed to get to 32 without ever having flu, for example (I don't get the flu jab either) and only a handful of colds 🤷🏼‍♀️

I used that calculator and it puts me at the lowest risk of death, but with my weight and health problems I don't know how accurate that is .

Do you think getting a taxi to this house viewing is safe? I really feel like it isn't.

I don't know. I suppose I just need to find a way of carving a life out of this mess for me and my DC's even though everything inside me just wants to lock the door and hide forever

I don't have a health condition that I know about but I still get anxious. The thing with risk is just to minimise the best you can. If your husband travels in a taxi, I believe the advice is passenger in the rear with the windows open. They should both be wearing masks and your husband can use hand gel. Obviously no risk would be to stay at home forever.
I rarely get ill but I'm paranoid about norovirus so I wash my hands scrupulously after using a loo (which we should do anyway) and avoid touching the door handles.
Colds and coughs I have always been fairly gung-ho about. I have always car shared with friends who have colds, I've gone to work with some dreadful colds, taken two paracetamol and got on with it. I won't be doing either of these this year.
I believe a lot of us will be equally as cautious.

Hi, if getting a taxi to the viewing is too much, maybe don't do it. Anxiety doesn't go away if you never do anything,but also pushing too hard can be counterproductive too.

Have you talked to your DH about how scared you are? Maybe you need a bit of time just focusing on the feeling - before moving on to practical questions.

I can't assess the taxi specifically for you. But I am not going in taxis personally because I can walk everywhere in my town and time is not currently an issue! But if I needed to go to hospital, I would feel ok to get a taxi. So it depends. Sorry you're so worried.

Yes it seems so strange to me that other people are going to theme parks/getting their nails done etc. They're not wrong to do it I just feel as though I'll be too terrified to do anything like that ever again .

Is there a charity or organisation for your health condition? My youngest DC has a rare condition which means he has had major surgery on his respiratory system. No one could really tell us what this meant with covid.

However the charity for his condition have been tracking cases. Although the number is low as his condition is so rare, it is reassuring that most are not even requiring hospitalisation. You may be able to find out something similar for your condition?

@Beebityboo

Yes it seems so strange to me that other people are going to theme parks/getting their nails done etc. They're not wrong to do it I just feel as though I'll be too terrified to do anything like that ever again .

Same. And every time I try to give myself a pep talk about being braver I remember that there's a killer virus out there...

Yes I do OP. How do you know you haven’t had it? How do the other posters know they haven’t had it. I had the antibody test done at work and it was positive for a few of us.Although one person was not poorly at all no symptoms or anything.

Think of your mental well being what good is worrying yourself over something that is all very hit and miss at the moment.

@Beebityboo

Yes it seems so strange to me that other people are going to theme parks/getting their nails done etc. They're not wrong to do it I just feel as though I'll be too terrified to do anything like that ever again .

In all fairness the flip side of this. I can understand in your case as your worry is mainly because of your health. COVID-19 has highlighted a lot of selfish issues. If you see somebody out you cannot assume they may not even continue their trip out with everything that has gone on. Maybe they have been desperate to get the kids out of the house and try and entertain them. Staying in lockdown forever will wreck your mental health.

With my condition it's complicated as it was caused by a birth defect so it mimics the condition I'm diagnosed with but doesn't actually meet all the clinical criteria of that condition. It's just their best guess. From what I can tell the main reason I'm more at risk is due to blood clotting, not anything respitory.
It's just so difficult, even simple things. How can we move house if I'm too terrified to go to a viewing!

@Bananabread8 please don't think I'm judging those people I'm not. I know it's me who is currently living in an unsustainable way and my DC's are suffering for it.

for all.

No one is a mug. We have had a massive upheaval and there's a lot to process. Just keep trying.

People react differently. Wanting to hide under the duvet is really quite understandable. It just isn't the right thing to do long term. But keep talking and trying and it'll improve bit by bit.

If your children are not doing certain activities but if you are still being kind, caring, healthy and making an effort they are still getting plenty more than most children through most of history. Almost every single activity/venue/event like cinema/theatre/soft play/shopping/playground is irrelevant, when you really analyse it what they need is something to play with, room to run and of course other children is the biggie.

Its really really sad those that have anxiety of this and to try and find a balance of getting back to normal or to live the best way we can together. Have you seen anybody about your anxiety?

Can your husband or you hire a car instead? Perhaps you have a scheme like Zipcar in your area? That way, you can air it and disinfect all surfaces before using it. Keep windows open while inside.
You mention weight. That's one thing we can all improve our chances with. If you tackle that, you might feel more in control.
Being sure that our vitamin D level is good too.

I remember that there's a killer virus out there...

for a few and not for most of us, it is very low risk- don't think this way of thinking really helps people like the OP with anxiety

OP there are new meds for the blood clotting maybe you can chat with your consultant and make a plan for if you get ill. That might help you. But you would likely be fine,

Neither of us can drive which has been such a huge issue. Its first on the agenda when all this is over!