difficult situation with party invite and current social distancing rules

[Abitannoying]

Hi

Would be grateful for people's opinions please - my daughter's friend (they are all 14) has invited her to go camping for two days and a night. There would be 8 kids and her friend's parents in a mini bus all sitting apart with face masks on apparently.

When they get to the campsite the kids would be 4 to a tent and spaced apart. There is a kitchen they will be cooking in and there is no mention of only eating outside. The message goes on to say that there will be hand sanitizer and masks aplenty, but the kids will hardly be wearing masks while sleeping 4 to a tent. Nor are eight 14 year olds likely to socially distance.

So aibu to say no to my daughter, who is cross with me and begging? Am I also unreasonable to be a bit annoyed that I have been put in this position? If/when I say no (I am going to say no), my dd will be upset (and says she will ask her Dad since we are divorced) and I will probably come across like an arse to the parents (though I will be polite of course).

I know that a month later they will all be at school probably not socially distancing, so there is that, but on the other hand, it's a pandemic and if anyone was infected amongst that group of kids, there is no way that it wouldn't be passed around and then to the various people in their bubbles when they go back home.

I wouldn't, as it is against national scientific/medical guidance.

With the guidance we are each being asked to put the interests of others/everyone ahead of our own. Personally I'm ok to miss things for a medium period of time.

If you opt not to go, you shouldn't feel pressured, I wouldn't say anything, I would just say sorry we won't be able to do that and leave it at that.

I missed an after school gathering for a similar reason, it wasn't a big deal to not go.

If your not sending her to school come September,I completely agree ,she should not go
If you are sending her to school ,or even sent her back for a few days this summer term ,you are not fair not letting her go

My view is that we should all follow the guidelines now so that cases continue to come down and it makes it safer to open schools in September. At 14 she's presumably not been in school since March so none of these children have already been in a bubble with her. I'd be suggesting an alternative plan. Following the guidelines is not just about individuals deciding they have risk assessed and don't care if they catch covid. It's about community responsibility. I'd suggest if the others are happy to go along with this plan they are unlikely to have been following the guidelines in other ways so already the risk of passing infection along from others they've been in contact with is greater. My DD has had to divide her friends into 2 groups- those totally ignoring guidelines and those who are mostly following them, and see the latter group, for similar reasons.

@Veganforlife

If your not sending her to school come September,I completely agree ,she should not go If you are sending her to school ,or even sent her back for a few days this summer term ,you are not fair not letting her go

For school to be ok, we need people to follow the guidance the rest of the time.

The people who say 'if they're going to school they can do xyz that isn't advised' are going to fuck school up.

Thanks a lot for the messages, it has been helpful. I have said no for all the reasons outlined by the no camp. We could all isolate for a week before she goes and a week after, but that seems like a difficult and strange thing to do in the circumstances and I asked my eldest (who does go out, unlike my middle one) if he would do that and he said no. Understandably.

I think my dd’s friend’s parents have put people in a difficult position by organising this and we (my dd and I) were in turmoil last night. In normal times I would be so happy for her to go. Re me being “harsh” as one poster said, yes it’s sad, but my dd is doing other things socially with friends one on one or in groups in the park (she goes to one friend’s house), so she is seeing people. I kind of think that this government has been lax enough with how it has managed the pandemic here and the least I can do is follow the guidelines, as contradictory as they seem/are. I agree that the more we can quash things now, the less likely a horrible autumn and winter with more spikes and lockdowns, closed schools etc.

Just don't send her on the back of peer pressure for the people saying you're being harsh because that is so far from the truth when you're looking out for other people!!. Thanks for this @DottyDuvet.

@HipTightOnions

To everyone saying “well they’ll all be at school together soon”...

Do you understand that the ONLY protection available to teachers and pupils (and by extension their families) will be everyone being cautious elsewhere?

School is considered so important (for education, childcare and child protection) that we are expected to live with the risk, but this is only remotely reasonable if people are prepared to stick to the guidelines.

Yes I understand. I'm a teacher, who is vulnerable / should be shielding . Children have missed out on so much because of this. And lost so much in terms of education. They shouldn't have to continue missing out.

I would be saying no too. Not sure the rules/guidelines say it’s ok for numerous families to stay overnight together and I can’t imagine there would be much social distancing going on.