Is anyone else suffering from depression?

[Hugecloudsofdarkness]

I am just wondering if anyone else has fallen into a very deep, dark depression like I have? It's been getting worse and worse since March for me, since lockdown.

I wake up and dread the news everyday. I don't feel settled as I am constantly terrified at the thought of being locked down again and our family business going under (we wouldn't survive another lockdown) and therefore losing our house. I am devastated at seeing how my children have suffered from being out of school. One of my children is very shy and she now won't leave the house without a fight.

I understand the masks (not the timing of them though) but I can't help but feel even worse when I leave the house and see everyone in masks, arrows instructing people where to walk/stand and messages being played over and over again through the shop microphones about staying safe and not going near anyone.

I honestly feel like I am trapped in a complete nightmare. I was having a really nice dream about normal life last night and woke up this morning shaking when I realised that actually, the nightmare is true, not the dream.

Please can anyone who wants to tell me to get over it stay away from this post. I am truly so delicate. I am on antidepressants btw. But they aren't going to help me when I am constantly terrified about all of the above.

Please call your doc first thing tomorrow they can help.

Oh colouring

The January lockdown broke me. I had ds in mid December and it was awful.

thanks. I'm on anti ds and having therapy. But more shit keeps happening on top of a decade of it 😓

This thread is just so sad.
So much suffering
Too much.

We’ve all been shat on from a great height.
Please , please hang on in there.
Just one step forward , a bit at a time.
Reach out to anyone who can help, ring a friend, meet up, call the samaritans if need be.

It’s awful. It’s shit but don’t let the bastards win.
And if it helps keep posting.

@shewalkslikerihanna

This thread is just so sad. So much suffering Too much.

We’ve all been shat on from a great height.
Please , please hang on in there.
Just one step forward , a bit at a time.
Reach out to anyone who can help, ring a friend, meet up, call the samaritans if need be.

It’s awful. It’s shit but don’t let the bastards win.
And if it helps keep posting.

This 100%.

Please take things 1 hour at a time and ignore social media and MSM which are both generally despicable

Thinking of you all
Hope the sunshine helps

Getting that natural vitamin d in is the best tonic of all

I went for a "run" this morning. It was a walk. Couldn't be arsed to run. What's the fucking point when it's apparently far too dangerous for our health to have races and parkruns. My motivation floundered a year ago, and I've dredged it up several times since then but it's got harder and harder and I feel like I'm out of fumes now.
It's not just running. It's the rest of my tedious, featureless existence that's been on standby for 15m, or made depressingly complicated.

If I wasn't sure that it was all a pretty normal reaction to a temporary situation I'd have gone to the GP to drug me up last November. I tried to make the most of what I could do last summer, tried not to think about winter until it came. And it was awful, but I held on to Easter, opening up, longer days, better weather. But the constant disproportionate negativity in the media is grinding. I don't watch TV news anymore, gave that up over a year ago, and little TV in general, just radio bulletins and selected articles. Shutting out all news isn't overly helpful either.

This time last year when it became clear that my DCs weren't setting foot in school for another 3 months, I howled and sobbed.

I don't know if depression is the right word for what I'm feeling, because as a family, we have had a lot to deal with in the last year and it would be strange to not feel utterly battered by everything that's happened

I don't feel like I'm in some dystopian nightmare, because on the whole things are changing and hopefully getting better, and although I believe this government has fucked up on a massive scale from day 1, I think most of the restrictions have been necessary and have no issue with masks etc.

I feel relieved that ds, who shielded for most of the year, is still healthy, but on tenterhooks that now he is back in school unvaccinated and with restrictions loosening, that it would be sods law that he would catch it now.

I hope everyone on this thread who is struggling can find some chunk of 'okayness' that will get them through, and I hope that we all find ourselves in a better place.

Yes
Lonely, struggling, can't see the point

This is supposed to be the best time of my life and I don't have the motivation to build a career or anything because....what's the point?

There is no resistance. I am about to give up on MN because I just get told I'm killing someone's granny.

@BogRollBOGOF

I went for a "run" this morning. It was a walk. Couldn't be arsed to run. What's the fucking point when it's apparently far too dangerous for our health to have races and parkruns. My motivation floundered a year ago, and I've dredged it up several times since then but it's got harder and harder and I feel like I'm out of fumes now. It's not just running. It's the rest of my tedious, featureless existence that's been on standby for 15m, or made depressingly complicated.

If I wasn't sure that it was all a pretty normal reaction to a temporary situation I'd have gone to the GP to drug me up last November. I tried to make the most of what I could do last summer, tried not to think about winter until it came. And it was awful, but I held on to Easter, opening up, longer days, better weather. But the constant disproportionate negativity in the media is grinding. I don't watch TV news anymore, gave that up over a year ago, and little TV in general, just radio bulletins and selected articles. Shutting out all news isn't overly helpful either.

This time last year when it became clear that my DCs weren't setting foot in school for another 3 months, I howled and sobbed.

I hear you I wanted to do a 10k this summer but don't run any more It's dystopia out there

Can barely be bothered to leave the room

I would howl and sob right now but Zoom meeting shortly.

My parents asked if some of my colleagues were day drinking in the job. Some of theirs have bluntly told them they are.

I'm trying to lose lockdown weight though.

Finding it hard to keep motivating with all the doomsayers. If the bloody idiots that went to India or wherever the sodding Delta came from actually quarantined/isolated until they at least tested when they came back talk of another pushing back on opening up wouldn't be a thing. I totally blame the idiots in the hot spot areas that brought it back - I mean seriously did they not see the case numbers in India!

Locally though really tiny numbers and no one in hospital so it feels a bit odd to be talking about not opening up more. I think the country should have restrictions in some areas and allow the areas with virtually no covid to get going. We have never really had it bad at all - people tended to follow all the guidelines but most getting fed up now since we seem to pay for the idiots elsewhere.

@Ostara212

Yes Lonely, struggling, can't see the point

This is supposed to be the best time of my life and I don't have the motivation to build a career or anything because....what's the point?

There is no resistance. I am about to give up on MN because I just get told I'm killing someone's granny.

Try to ignore the ones that go overboard. Do what you need to do and ignore the 'killing the granny' type posters - they're bonkers

@Ostara212trying to lose weight also
Not easy as I get older.
I’ve cut portion size down and all treats
My skinny cousin is coming from Cardiff next month and I feel like big fatty bum bum

Yes. Started sertraline 200mg in January. I feel bad again 😔 just can’t see an end to it all. I’m so fed up of the constant worrying.

Of course the pandemic will end. The virus will remain but will be controlled by vaccine. Hard to see the end, just like it would have been hard to visualise the start of it pre pandemic. I will be overjoyed once restrictions go and the vaccine is a success.