My 7 year old DD is terrified of masks

[BilboBercow]

Not really sure how to deal with this one.
In Scotland so they're mandatory in shops and on public transport.
DD has just recently become terrified of them, not just wearing them but she's also frightened when I, or anyone she knows puts one on, saying it scares her because we don't look like ourselves. It means I, lone parent can't enter a shop now when I'm with her.
Does anyone have any suggestions?

@Atadaddicted

Poor thing

Under 5s don’t need to.
She’s close enough
I wouldn’t push it

I thought it was under 11s dont have to?

@Jrobhatch29 Under 5 in Scotland

On the app Snapchat there are filters where it looks like you are wearing a mask, there are also dog ears and baby filters and things. I do these with my DD and she loves them, we don't show them to anyone but just play around. I have found the masks are really good at desensitizing her to wearing one in real life.

We talk a lot about how kind people are for wearing masks to keep us safe.

Couldn’t her best friend phone or zoom and show her face then with her watching as her friend talks so she knows it’s still her best friend as she puts on the mask and then take off showing her she’s still her best friend.

@gotothecooler. I think I used to agree with that approach but after 3 hard years I go with the path of least resistance to make him happy and comfortable.

Does she like your lipstick but isn’t allowed to wear it? Would she wear a plain mask if you let her draw lips on it with your lipstick? (If so I’d buy a few cheapo lipsticks in pink and red for that sole purpose).

I just wanted to come back to the thread to thank everyone for their advice and suggestions, I'll definitely give some a try. I was a bit upset earlier - I worry about dd in general and especially at the moment about the long term impacts of this pandemic on both her mental health and her education.

This may seem like a fairly small thing but some of the answers earlier, even though they weren't horrible in the grand scheme of things were the straw that broke the camels back today.

I'm not surprised some of those responses upset you, they were completely lacking in empathy. This sounds like a genuine phobia and phobias are very challenging at any age. I really feel for your dd.

Gradual desensitisation is a good idea as a first step, then role playing with toys if she's receptive to that kind of play. Once she's a bit more relaxed you can show her how to spot that someone wearing a mask is smiling and happy. If things aren't improving, counselling might help her tackle her fear. I hope it's more manageable for her very soon.

I think the best thing is to try and get her used to them but to do it gradually so that there are no traumatic or shocking incidents that set her back by reinforcing her fear. That said, while you want to avoid trauma you do not want to avoid anxiety and discomfort...she will unfortunately feel that initially as it is part of the process but will wear off, hopefully.

I would make a list of things like, start with you wearing a scarf like the seasalt handyband or a friendly looking mask just round your neck around the house, but with face showing. If you start with the handyband then the next stage is pulling it up onto your face a bit, then next stage try a mask round the neck for a while, then the mouth, then the nose. It may take several days of each stage for her to get used to each before you can move on. But there won't be any big steps like suddenly everyone in masks, each step will be small and once she is used to the rest.

You could get her involved in this, eg agreeing on what little thing she will try each day, but you will have to be firm that the steps have to be taken. Maybe she could pick little rewards for along the way.

You will also have to prepared to tolerate her anxiety long enough for her to find out that nothing bad happens, and people are jsut themselves but in masks. Explain to her that sometimes we can feel worried but if Mummy says it is all safe then she is ok to just let that worry and scared feeling be, and it will go away by itself after a while.

Other things you could try are just getting her used to the items, even cutting some up to make things, getting the toys involved. There could be a toy that is confident and one that is a bit nervous but agrees to try wearing one for a bit, when she gets to the stage of trying one on they could do that together for a bit.

Also could you pick out some fabrics you like that each family member has chosen to suit them, and always wear them specifically as in Mummy's mask etc. So that the mask is not just hiding someone's identity but expresses some of their identity...Mummy chose these nice flowers etc.

Sorry if none of this is any use...just brainstorming.

Of course there is also the 'poor mask is very sad that you don't like him' approach

Seriously though, good luck with it. I am sure you can get there.