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Original poster

My 7 year old DD is terrified of masks

61 replies

BilboBercow · 14/07/2020 16:34

Not really sure how to deal with this one.
In Scotland so they're mandatory in shops and on public transport.
DD has just recently become terrified of them, not just wearing them but she's also frightened when I, or anyone she knows puts one on, saying it scares her because we don't look like ourselves. It means I, lone parent can't enter a shop now when I'm with her.
Does anyone have any suggestions?

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 14/07/2020 17:52

Info also says a visor is an alternative

Orangeblossom78 · 14/07/2020 17:53

It has to be a face covering right? So instead of a mask could use a scarf round your face or I have seen a wrap thing from white stuff suggested. I mean for you not here, she is too young to have to I think.

gotothecooler · 14/07/2020 17:54

Ah right. I wouldn't fuss about her wearing it but if she is anxious about other people wearing them that's another problem altogether. I wish I knew how to help with that one. Some good ideas upthread about familiarisation though.

toomanyplants displaying a serious lack of understanding Hmm

DonLewis · 14/07/2020 17:54

Ah @BilboBercow I think you've had a tough time. Sometimes we forget that this is a parenting site, with the aim of making parents lives easier.

Is it masks in particular? Would she feel better about something that covers the gave but isn't a mask? Like a bandana or a snood? Can you explain that it's like in the winter when you wear a hat over your ears?
Hope you find something that works for her. Flowers

Readyme · 14/07/2020 17:55

I suspect all her anxieties over the last few months are being channelled towards face masks. Although I've found it's not that uncommon for young children to be weary of people in masks in general.
I would speak to your GP about some support for her. At home I would be doing some play therapy use her favourite toys to act out social stories involving masks.

frozendaisy · 14/07/2020 17:59

I don't like them but I'll wear one, I am going to go more pirate bandana type thing for me and kids though I think they look less clinical.

uselessdiyer · 14/07/2020 18:01

Sorry I don't have any useful advice but I honestly don't blame her. They give me the creeps. They're incredibly unpleasant looking. The streets are going to look like something from a a horror film soon.

toomanyplants · 14/07/2020 18:04

@gotothecooler
There isn't a great deal to understand?
What's the alternative?
Staying in for the next 12 months?
It's mandatory!

Jrobhatch29 · 14/07/2020 18:06

My 4 year old hates them too. Cries when I have one on. I dont intend on making him wear one but he has to for hair cuts. Ive let him choose one off etsy and he picked a toy story one that cost me £10!!! So we will see haha! Unfortunately I think we will have to try and normalise it. I hate that that is something we have to do though.
I have the opposite problem with my 7 yr old. He is asking to wear his even outside as hes so anxious

crumpet · 14/07/2020 18:12

In your shoes I would be playing it down and being very matter of fact - and being very careful to make sure she is not in a position to overhear any concerns you might have.

Only talk about the masks positively (isn’t it a good job we have them/ spot the best or funniest mask of the day/ let her choose some to buy). Also if it is feeling that people change when they wear a mask, then talk to her about whether people are the same if they wear a bikini or a ski suit. How many sports need masks/visors and helmets (see skiing again, or cricket etc etc). Team mates still know who is who.

Carlislemumof4 · 14/07/2020 18:12

I was worried my 7 year old would feel like this about masks. That last week of school before lockdown she started talking about germs as monsters. Relaxed at home.

I've been wearing my facecoverings to the supermarket for a few weeks now, have made a point of the DCs seeing me in mine and normalising it. Have bought them fun prints (comic superheroes, Peter Rabbit, pugs, cats), 2 layer cotton pleated masks so not too thick or hot for them to wear. 7 year old seems keen to try hers now so will see how we go.

See disney store UK are selling kids facecoverings now too if your DD has a favourite character and that might help.

FelicityPike · 14/07/2020 18:14

@Atadaddicted

Poor thing

Under 5s don’t need to.
She’s close enough
I wouldn’t push it

How is a 7 year old “close enough” to under 5 not to wear one?!
crumpet · 14/07/2020 18:16

In fact instead of a mask she might prefer to wear a thin ski buff - they come in some funky designs, and won’t need the elastic behind the ears. Ds still uses his Star Wars one even though its years old. Fun to turn it into a beanie/other shape too

Risotto4tea · 14/07/2020 18:18

I have been wearing a mask at work for a while (care home) I put it on at home to show my kids and they both hated it. My son especially ran away screaming and crying.
I cant offer any advise other than what others have said. But all I did was buy masks in fancy fabrics that they like, i have a frozen 2 one, a mickey mouse and my DP has a minions one. And then made sure they saw me in it everyday. They are now used to it although do still sometimes try to pull it off my face. Took a few weeks of doing it though so mabye she will get used to it eventually

actiongirl1978 · 14/07/2020 18:18

@toomanyplants I agree with you.

The last time we had to take him to the doctor he screamed and ran down the road and I had to carry him a large 9 year old boy screaming back to the car park where the doctor saw him outside.

He has never opened his mouth at the dentist and has been sick every time I have tried to take him since he was about 6. The dentist has also seen him in the car park.

He is too heavy to carry and force to do things now
So we go with the path of least resistance or don't do things.

Thisgirlcanrun · 14/07/2020 18:19

Has this fear come on suddenly? Has she had any nightmares about them? Just wondering if she had and this might have increased her anxieties x

gotothecooler · 14/07/2020 18:23

[quote toomanyplants]@gotothecooler
There isn't a great deal to understand?
What's the alternative?
Staying in for the next 12 months?
It's mandatory! [/quote]
I wasn't saying you didn't understand mask wearing I was saying you didn't understand children, child development, people?

It's not always so simple as 'well you have to do it'

This is a terrified 7 year old child for goodness sake. A bit of empathy maybe?

gotothecooler · 14/07/2020 18:25

@actiongirl1978

You agree with toomany ?

Your post says the opposite. You are very much saying people do what they can and that poster is saying we should not pander.

indecisivewoman81 · 14/07/2020 18:25

Could you and your daughter perhaps make a mask for her dolls and teddy, play a role play game around why wearing a mask is good for keeping out germs etc.

Masks are scary and anything to take the fear away will help x

indecisivewoman81 · 14/07/2020 18:25

Could you and your daughter perhaps make a mask for her dolls and teddy, play a role play game around why wearing a mask is good for keeping out germs etc.

Masks are scary and anything to take the fear away will help x

Herja · 14/07/2020 18:26

My DC were quite worried by them. I made some for all of us, with fabric they chose. Seeing them just as fabric pieces, and another thing mum was sewing, turned them back in to something not scary. They were just another wierd handmade thing I'd foisted upon them, and by extension, they were less worrying on other people too. They were really easy to do, my machine is broken so I've been hand sewing them and it doesn't take long.

ChikiTIKI · 14/07/2020 18:32

I used to find masks very scary when I was younger. Particularly the ones from cereal boxes where you just cut the eyes and sometimes mouth out. It was because I couldn't see people's expressions.

I really sympathise. It's so hard. Especially since you don't have much choice but to wear a mask around her sometimes.

Could you get one with a smile on it or amend yours to add a smile? Sorry that's all I can think of at the moment. Or maybe getting her to make/design one for you/with you?

HRoosevelt · 14/07/2020 18:42

Perhaps you could try a gradual desensitisation technique?
So start with what she will tolerate eg have a mask in the room but not close to her, see if you can gradually build up moving it closer, then touching it with her hand, then picking up, then can she hold the mask to her arm, leg, etc then holding to her face for a second, 20 seconds, when she can do a minute put on properly with straps, etc?

Bluetrews25 · 14/07/2020 18:51

Has she learned to look at the eyes to see if a person is smiling? Teach her what to look for.
Can you play a game of hiding lower half of face and guessing if the other is smiling or not?
Is she one of those people who has a terrible memory for faces? (It's a proper condition, face blindness or something?) She might find it harder to recognise you. Would she feel happier if you wore a special badge or pin to signify Mum?
Have you had conversations about looking different but still being the same person - haircut, face paint, tattoo, tanning, weight gain/loss?
I don't know if any of this is useful.....my DCs are long grown.