My town has already cancelled the annual Christmas Carnival :(
It’s a big deal in my town - a little Christmas parade, all the local dance and drama groups put on a little show each, funfair, Christmas lights go on.....all cancelled. I wasn’t even thinking that far ahead but many people are. Even the local dramatics society have said today they’re not doing the town panto this year. It all just feels so sad. So much joy has been sucked out of the year.
I can’t believe how naive I was - I work in a school. When they announced school closures, I was amongst the group thinking we would have a 5/6 week Easter time off essentially then back in school. That was obviously way off the mark. I’m a positive person, happy to admit that I was wrong.
I’ve stuck to lock down rules. I didn’t go further than my local park between March 23rd and June 1st. Even now I’ve only ventured as far as school for work. We finished this Friday just gone (independent) and I feel lonely and down. Nothing to look forward too - no holiday, none of the usual things I look forward too. I haven’t been to anyone’s house (though thankfully I have been invited to another single friends to stay for a week, which I’m going to do once I’ve stayed home this week and next to check I’m well).
I had to use the bus for the first time since lockdown this week. I wore my mask. The driver wasn’t wearing one but he was behind a plastic screen, essentially in a little plastic bubble. I hate the masks, but I will wear them. For the sake of protecting others (which is their primary function) I will wear one as instructed. I don’t wear it in the open air. I’ve got used to distancing and hand sanitising all the time and don’t think in the long term these are necessarily bad things all the time.
You have no idea what I would do for a hug though right now. A proper tight squeeze of a hug. I haven’t had a hug since March. I’m getting teary typing this.
I read something about hugs the other week - something like “4 to survive, 8 to thrive” a day. I’m burnt out. This year has burnt me out.
I am however eternally grateful for the good so far.
I only know four people who have had Covid 19, and two of them are FB acquaintances.
The 2 closer to me, one works in a hospital. They live in the same house. Both were ill for a few days and made a swift recovery. I am so grateful for that.
I have not suffered it myself (that I’m aware of) and have not lost anyone and I know I need to be massively thankful for that and aware of the loss others are feeling. My area does not seem to have been hit badly. I count my blessings for the odd things I managed to get sorted during my time in lockdown. I’m thankful that I still have my job and was able to keep afloat with the slight income drop.
But it does feel like a nightmare and the shock for me in some ways is hitting harder now. I don’t know why. I see people out and about and people in the park and just wished more people I knew lived closer.
Sending a hug to anyone out there who needs one.