Still in shock

[KayEngel]

Is it just me? I still can't quite believe what has happened and is still going to happen for the foreseeable. I've stopped going out, not because I'm worried about getting Covid, but because the whole face mask, social distancing, queuing, booking ahead, craziness is just too upsetting.

BigChocFrenzy he made a decision (with hindsight it was the wrong one!) at the start of last year to prioritise his studies to get a 1st rather than apply for internships. Of course, then when he had finished his exams, all the internships were gone and new ones not being set up due to Brexit, and you are right - the City firms are relocating. But he has a flat in London which he's tied in to until next Spring so has to stick to London for the moment. I don't know where he's going wrong tbh - he's a very charming young man, clean, tidy, nice looking, polite, works hard but constantly passed over for candidates who went to Oxford or Cambridge. I suppose its still an old boys network or he's doing something drastically wrong in interviews.

Northernsoulgirl Thank you for that info - I will suggest the Computer Science option but he really just wants to start earning money now (and tbh every month that he isn't is eating into my pension savings so I'd quite like him to get a job too )

Generally, DD and I are pottering along just fine but every few weeks I have a couple of days of feeling very bleak about it all. I also get waves of emotion when I think about the stolen time for different generations - like the school leavers - (more personally, my 18yo DN who has worked her arse off for years yet didn't get to sit her A-levels). The missing cuddles of grandparents with newborn babies. The list goes on and on. Its just so so sad.

I feel as though this is a massive changing point in our lives and in the years to come we'll talk about life before coronavirus (maybe it'll even earn its own term like BCoV - 'before Coronavirus') and yearn for the time when we were so carefree about our general health even though we didn't realise it, in comparison to now.

The idea that going out is fraught with danger shouldn't be a new one given the risks of traffic accidents etc. but it just feels like this is on a new level.

For me its not just about Covid-19; its the awful realisation that pandemics can actually really happen and this might not be the only one we see in our lifetime.

I feel the same. I swing between wanting life to go back to normal and wanting to go back into lockdown and see nobody. Not because I don't feel safe but because I hate the constant decision making and assessing everything we do. But have two small children who need some kind of normal. My dad won't stop shielding until there is a vaccine, not through necessity just because he is scared. We still don't know if a vaccine is a possibility. I don't know how he is going to have a relationship with my children. I feel very low about it all.

Try to make a difference www.change.org/p/theresa-may-mp-make-animal-cruelty-illegal-in-china and sign this petition. China are a a law unto themselves but their vile eating habits and abuse of animals is why we are in this mess.

Im put off going to shops now if I have to wear one - who enforces these fines?? Police?

I just feel like I have no motivation anymore.

No hope for the future because I can’t really plan anything.

Just pretty bored of everything now & having down days

Dh seems to carry on as normal and is going on about me getting a job when the DC both at new school in September.

Totally ignoring school might be on and off, and any worries about there actually being any jobs around

It's like he is on another planet. Planet of denial perhaps. He says 'everyone else is back to normal, it's just you'

It's not 'just me'. very irritating. I'm not fussing about it either. It's just not normal and the same.

orangeblossom Does he plan to share childcare duties / leave equally with you on the days school will be off ?
(I suspect I know the answer to that !)

What gets me is the fact that our governments and citizens are so accepting of the fact that Covid19 has been unleashed on the world.
Few countries are asking how did it really originate. I know the Australian government are though.
Perhaps our governments in Ireland, in the UK and in other countries will ask the questions and demand answers once they can take a breather after they've dealt with the pandemic and its health and economic implications

BigChoc they will both me in secondary so white independant, but yes he does cook etc. He will definitely be doing more if I do go back to work! (as i will do less)

@SheikhaPinty so glad someone else said it

I agree op. For me it's the constant worry and the obvious uncertainty.

@nitgel

Wearing a mask is fine This is fine. Life goes on.

I'm so much enjoying people making wild assumptions about what is manageable for other people, it makes the total dismantling of my way of life easier to manage...

onedayinthefuture I've signed. That photo really shocked and upset me, it's barbaric

I am so sorry you feel that way OP. It is all very boring that's for sure. I don't feel like that and I think it's because my mum got it just before lockdown and was just so poorly (as you can be without, mercifully, being intubated) that I'm honestly happy to wear a mask, and just fine to do all the other stuff. I also have a colleague who lost her aunt, her grandma and a great aunt, and a friend who's husband was on a ventilator for 5 weeks (he's in his 50s but fit and slim and no underlyings) and is now facing up to a year of physio - so I'm mainly feeling bloody lucky. Maybe just try and think of the positives - I can totally see how it can all feel overwhelming but if your family are ok surely that's a good start.

I am a little frightened too! The whole mask thing as made shopping such an unpleasant experience. I walked into a shop today after sanitising my hands then I thought I am not happy to to actually touch anything so I just walked out with the gift I was shopping for. Even bars and restaurants too nervous to eat out!

Kay yes same I’m just crying. And no one to tell me it’ll be ok. I can’t wear a face mask. I can’t see everyone around me wear face masks I ju at can’t deal with this being my world.
I am so sad that everyone seems to just accept this.

I've no issue with it.... it's better than the alternative and as we get into winter pressures who knows how the virus will behave when it interacts with other illness such as Influenza and Norovirus.

Better masks than the alternative.

Weird isn’t it. I’ve been going to work as normal and my weekly shop on a Saturday (with a mask). So I guess u haven’t felt it being that strange

Have cancelled lunch next week as in Scotland max three households indoors and we were a four. Not a big issue we will see each other when we can

I'm.glad you posted this. I've been feeling a horrible sense of fatigue and despair creeping in.

I'm absolutely determined to make the best if it, focus on the positives etc. (In my case, seeing more of my daughters, life being calmer and less stressful etc).

But often I sit down with my own thoughts and feel very sad about what's happening, how everything has changed and what the future holds. Everything is a compromise now.

I hope that there is some more positive news at some point, because this week has been a cascade of bad news from the scientists (immunity, vaccines, long term effects etc)

Not really too bothered. I lived as normally as possible during lockdown, went out as usual except nothing was open. Now the rules change daily even though no one really knows what's best, so I think I know as much as anyone else. The only rules I follow are social distancing - is it 1 metre or two? And I wear a mask if I have to. No worries.

Yeah i.do that in the morning wake and like ugh yeah covid is eel and I'm living during a Pandemic but then I think bout how lucky I am that it not.like mers or plauge and modern tech comfortable house etc and really what we are being asked to.do.is nothing compared to world war times bar those on the front lines of course. And then I just get on with it. Bar those few thoughts in morning I've mostly adapted now. Just missing swimming tbh.

I find the whole mask thing quite uncomfortable. I really think it makes shopping an utterly joyless experience.

I hate it. I hate the phrase new normal. In the same County 1 grand daughter has been allowed back to school (really happy for her) whilst the other 2 are not. Seeing my 9yo GD wither into a miserable lonely wreck. Parents all doing their best, but so conscious they’ll be paying for this for ever. My DD has just ‘graduated’- no graduation, no jobs, no hope, and she has clinical depression, anxiety, PTSD and chronic asthma, so cannot wear a mask but is now even more terrified of going out. Terrified of people assaulting her for not wearing a mask. Hating how we’re all supposed to treat each other like a contagion. I’ve been poor all my life, raised my kids as a single mum after 1 deserting husband and 1 DV. Clawed my way up to a decent salary. Was hoping to spend the last 9 years till retirement having some fun. Looks like that’s out the window. As I say, I hate it. All.

I am really really hating it today too @Joeblack066