I hate this

[frozendaisy]

Oh god I hate this, just need to vent I know there are no answers that aren't already reported. But this is rubbish.

And we are a more "lucky" household if you can call this that.

Since lockdown I have two amazing, yet confused and at times sad children (11&9), I became sad and paranoid which hasn't happened in a long, long time, grandparent has operation delayed. And now close ones are being made redundant.

There's just no escape in life is there? The Mr used to have a couple of pints on Friday on way home from work, trivial perhaps, but it kept him sane, we visited people and jumped on trains and went swimming and schools had trips and playtime.

Would take a vaccine, any vaccine in a heartbeat.

Hate this.

@Atadaddicted

This is so true:
It really seems that most posters who comments about how paranoid and anxious they feel - comment that their children feel the same.
It’s no coincidence I suspect. Children feed off their parents.

Indeed the most anxious children I come across have the anxious parents..... I see a lot of children. The ones obsessing about 'the virus' and watching the daily 'death number bulletin' etc etc will often have very scared and anxious children... they can't help spreading their panic.

I mean on here an anonymous forum some people come over as completely 'batshit' with some of the things they say...imagine living with someone like that! I feel for their children.

I am actually verging on suicide now. I have been thinking about it on and off for a while but the past 10 days with easing of lockdown, I think, my anxiety is sky high. I have no friends, my family do no care about me. Please no one say see a doctor, there is nothing they could do to help me. (tried those routes in the past)

I have researched it and have a plan in mind.

This new reality is just so shit. I have health conditions that make me in a vulnerable group so do not fancy my chances with the virus. I havent been out since mid-Feb. I have no hobbies. Nothing.

@ResumetonormalASAP. Neither me or my daughter are at all scared of the virus. She’s just very down about life being so different. That’s not from me, that’s the way it is .

@itsshit can you start your own thread and reach out for support? I hear you and I know how very difficult this is but suicide is a permanent solution and I think most people can get help to make life that bit more bearable before taking that final step. This situation is not going to last forever.

Did you have hobbies at some point before? Something to make life worthwhile? When is the last time you reached out for professional help? Do you have help for your health conditions or are you part of a support group for it somewhere like Facebook? Some people make good online friendships through groups like that. There is one I can think of on the top of my head - it's called Chronic Creatives. A friend is a member and she says people post up art projects or craft things they've made. Everyone there has a chronic health problem so it's a safe, supportive environment.

I just wanted to say I hear you and I care and the world needs you in it. Don't give up.

ItsShit please keep on keeping on, I'm similar at times but don't give up, I am hopeful there will be brighter times somehow

Hello there @ItsShit - we're just responding to your post with some (hopefully) helpful links to some organisations which could help you through this difficult time.

You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Please do seek some real life support.

A parent at school, who is at the frontline of testing etc for Covid-19

"at the frontline of testing etc" is an interesting variant on the my 3rd cousin twice removed is a top virologist/ICU nurse/high up in the NHS theme.

@PhilCornwall1

It's interesting now that so many are shouting for this to end, that's its shit, when a few months ago, so many were shouting for schools to close, lockdown to go on for months and reporting people who so much as farted the wrong way.

The reality of what was wished for has finally hit home, it is shit and now that redundancies are kicking in, prepare for it to be even more shit.

Was it all really worth it?

For me, no! It has not been worth it at all.

I wasn't clamouring for lockdown, though accepted it was going to happen.

For me 2020 is working out to be a nightmare. I really cannot wait for it to end. The reasons are many:

1. I have just been made redundant (non-Covid related reasons) after having worked from home all through lockdown. At the age of 54, I am now back in the hell that is the job market looking for work at just about the worst time to find it in recent history.

2. My elderly parents (85 years old and shielding) have had various health emergencies and hospital admissions (not Covid related) throughout lockdown. They live three hours drive from me, so I have been unable to travel and see them (as my name is not Dominic Cummings). I have spent lockdown with my fingers and everything crossed that I will see them alive again, as it has been that bad.

3. I now feel with all that has happened that I am teetering on the brink of depression.

Anyone who is considering telling me that this is the new normal and that I need to learn to make the best of it had better not be in the same room as me, or I might not be responsible for my actions. Please don't try to tell me that. I don't want to hear it.

I do think that things will gradually work their way back to something resembling normal. The way we are living now is unnatural and unsustainable. People will not accept it for very much longer. Normal people won't, anyway.

I'm not a big socialiser. I just want my freedoms back, and for the shit time that so many of us are having to come to an end.

2020 is like a bad dream. When it comes to an end it will be goodbye with a shudder to it.

ItsShit, can I offer you a handhold? You aren't alone, though it sure can feel like it.

Please keep going.

@trinity0097

A parent at school, who is at the frontline of testing etc for Covid-19 , reckons that a hope of a vaccine might be short lived as antibodies seem to wane after a couple of months in people who have had it.

Oh F off! I think I'll listen to the experts in Oxford and elsewhere about the efficacy of a vaccine rather than what some bloke you know "reckons".

Being "at the frontline of testing" doesnt mean he is any sort of expert or knows anything about immunity of vaccine development. It just means he has been trained to stick a swab up someone's nose.

Totally agree @Topseyt I am in a very similar position - job loss after slogging my guts out from home for weeks, dad with cancer and delayed treatment, mental health. It’s utter crap.

@ItsShit please talk to someone x honestly this won’t be forever, it’s crap but you’ll get your old life back.

Social distancing is only a temporary normal until a vaccine and / or treatments that prevent mild cases becoming serious

So maybe until late 2021 ?

Changes that have been accelerated and are likely to become permanent:

. Far more WFH - businesses save rent, cleaning, utilities etc

• so commercial property market likely to be hit, residential property market will change

. Online shopping replacing most shops except supermarkets - more high st chains will go bust, more lowpaid warehousing jobs at Amazon & co

I don't have any close family, but if I did I would have visited them weeks ago if they agreed and not with SD either.

@FizzFan

*A parent at school, who is at the frontline of testing etc for Covid-19 , reckons that a hope of a vaccine might be short lived as antibodies seem to wane after a couple of months in people who have had it.*

I doubt the parent at school knows any more then the scientists racing to develop a vaccine who seem fairly confident of success. I’d take that with a pinch of salt.

Agree with this, bit of an insensitive post I think as well as not being based on anything other than some randoms alleged opinion

@IcedPurple

A parent at school, who is at the frontline of testing etc for Covid-19

"at the frontline of testing etc" is an interesting variant on the my 3rd cousin twice removed is a top virologist/ICU nurse/high up in the NHS theme.

Actual LOL :D

@FizzFan

The reality people need to get their heads around is there isn’t going to be a return to what was.

Yes there will. Normal life has resumed after every other pandemic. The life that had been built was done on what people want. People aren’t going to accept this miserable existence without the things they enjoyed indefinitely, virus or no virus.

TOTALLY agree

FizzFan, sorry you are going through it too. It is horrible.

I've just booked for DH and I to go and stay in a local hotel (a Premier Inn) near my parents for a couple of nights later this month now that they have reopened (they are frail now and struggle if people come and stay in their house, so this is a compromise).

I just thought fuck it. There might not be too many more opportunities, lockdown or not (and it has more or less ended now). We can socially distance as much as possible on their property, and offer to do any jobs that they would like when we are there. Possibly get them some shopping or treats, prescriptions if needed. So, we are doing it.

Sorry FizzFan, I should have added that I hope your Dad is able to get his treatment very soon. It is an utter scandal how much was cancelled and tossed aside to entirely re-purpose the NHS as the National Covid Service, with nobody else allowed to have any other medical needs at all.

All of the time the Nightingale hospitals remains largely empty and were huge white elephants. Some treatments could have been moved to those, surely. Or some better planning anyway.

Some on this thread have such valid reasons for finding this shit - physical/mental health problems; lost jobs; social isolation etc.
Others with none of the above, are complaining about not being able to easily pop to the pub, have an easy shopping experience or worried about getting Christmas sorted. None of the latter is truly shit it's just a minor inconvenience.

I felt like this a few weeks ago. I’ve struggled with self harm and dark thoughts in the past and they’d really come back. However since this weekend I’ve began to enjoy life again. I got my haircut and it felt so safe and only difference was wearing a mask. I walked around town keeping distance and had a lovely chat to a woman in Boots who sold me makeup. I bought a Starbucks and sat out in the sun. Today I even braved public transport and had fish and chips with a friend outdoors and a coffee in a lovely quiet little pub. I’ve felt 95% safe the majority of the time. I know how shit it’s been but I feel like there’s some hope now and I even the little things I took for granted bring my happiness. Maybe I’ve been lucky. @ItsShit PM me if you would like to chat

seeing terrified old people with masks on in the supermarket that upsets me

You do realise those people are protecting you more than themselves . Since I assume you are not wearing a mask you aren't returning the favour so I suppose in that respect they may be.a bit worried. The fact that they are wearing a mask however is not about them being terrified of catching coronavirus ( or certainly shouldn't be anyway) so don't let that upset you

Agree. I’m a positive person and have been trying to find joy in the small things since March, it’s starting to wear a bit thin now. I’m fortunate in many ways and am grateful for my lot but I just want my normal back.

I also seem to be the only parent on MN whose kids don’t want to go back to school, they are happier at home.