Anyone else fed up of negativity?

[TJ17]

Sorry but this is a long one. Just something I need to get out and don't blame anyone for not reading it all 😅

Basically I'm getting to the point now where it's really bringing me down! 🤦🏼‍♀️
I get the seriousness of the situation don't get me wrong and I understand the devastation COVID has caused for families but I'm just at the point where I'm tired of hearing all the hysteria about second waves and how the government has dealt with it all wrong, easing lockdown is a mistake and we are all screwed etc.

At first I was terrified of the virus as I'm sure area lot of others. My DH has had to go to work throughout the entire time so we have never had a chance to shield at home. Me and my 2.5 year old DS never left the house other than for short walks (I'm also currently 31 weeks pregnant) but there was still always the risk DH could bring something home.
So I stopped watching news, deleted social media etc as I was doing all I could myself and didn't want to hear anything else about it as I was terrified.

Then at my 20 week scan I found out my DD had a medical condition and my world fell apart. She's due in August and not only do I have the worry of the medical treatment and surgery she will need when she's here, I also have the worry about COVID affecting the birth in not having DH there for the induction (current guidelines are active labour only for birthing partners) and then him having to leave straight after birth leaving me alone to deal with the new baby's treatment by myself.
My DS is 2.5 and I've never left him overnight before (just never needed to) and not left him during the day for more than a few hours either as I'm a SAHM and don't have much family support. My mum is the only one who has ever looked after him but she spends half her year in her holiday home in another country where she is currently stuck due to having her flight home cancelled in March. I was relying on her to have DS whilst I give birth but although she has a flight home booked in time for the birth, we don't know if that will go ahead. I'm wracked with anxiety over what will happen with DS if she doesn't get back as it's bad enough having to leave him for the first time in these circumstances let alone if I end up having to leave him with someone he's not that comfortable with (not that any of DH family has offered to have him if mum is not home anyway)

So basically what I'm trying to say is, I have a lot to worry about right now and hearing so much negativity is dragging me down to the point I feel like just sitting here crying right now over the uncertainty of it all.
My mum seems to be the worst, every time we speak she talks about what a mess our country is in (the one she is in have irradiated the virus at the moment, 0 cases for a while now and back to almost normal life) and she repeats things she's heard from friends or the media about everything going wrong, she constantly reminds me her flight could be cancelled (the country she is currently in not accepting flights from UK yet) and it's really not helpful to me.
She is also classed as high risk with the virus so I'm not keen on her coming home anyway in that respect and everyone keeps telling her that she's safer out there and she should stay but she tells them she's only coming back because I'm due to give birth otherwise she wouldn't (which puts so much guilt and pressure on me)

Despite no longer listening to the news or reading articles on it anymore because it wasn't helping me, I find that everyone I speak to can't wait to tell me how terrible is all is and how it will get worse again! There's just no escape ☹️

I am well aware there could be a second wave, and there could be another lockdown etc etc but I just don't see how getting hysterical about it right now will help anyone 🤷🏼‍♀️

The way I see it is I just have to trust in the experts and do as they say! I will stay in for as long as I have to stay in (which as many probably know is mind numbing with a toddler) and I will go out when I'm told it's safe to do so. I will stick to all the rules and always have (even down to having to go to all my babies heart scans and having to face all the bad news alone because no one can have DS except DH) but that is all I have the power to do! So don't see the point in speculating, stressing, and just being downright pessimistic about life right now!

Does anyone else find that there's an overwhelming urge from everyone they speak to to basically tell you the world is doomed? And does anyone have any positive news to share on the situation?!

If you actually read all the way to here then thank you! Just needed to rant 😅❤️

@noego that's brilliant thanks for sharing that. I always feel quite defensive of the poor scientists working behind the scenes in all of this.

We clap for the NHS (rightly so) but there's never a word for the incredibly hard working and intelligent scientists - the ones who have worked tirelessly their whole career to help others in situations like this - and what do they get? Slammed all the time by know it alls that have read the Sun Newspaper saying they don't know what they are talking about, doing it all wrong, not doing enough etc 🙄

Thanks all 😊 you have all made me feel much better about it. I felt like the whole world was negative but maybe it's not quite everyone 😊

There's hope yet 🙏🏼

Firstly to you for coping with such a lot, and very good luck for the birth.

I think that some people call it negativity and some call it realism.

At the other end, some call it positivity and some call it naivity. (Sp?)

I can totally understand why you wish someone like me would stop being negative, but also I hope you can understand why I wish others would stop being so positive.

I’m with you OP. We can’t just sit at home forever there’s not a lot we can do but get on with things. Life must go on.

Exactly! You could remind your mum next time she tells you how terrible the uk is, that if she feels that way you hope she doesn't use the vaccine or treatments the nhs and its patients discover and uk scientist and the uk people that are currently testing and creating two potential vaccines.
(This argument doesn't work so well if she lives in germany or the US )

I totally agree op.

Don't get me wrong, i am taking it very seriously. I've stuck to all the rules and guidelines and in all honesty I don't think the government handled it well enough or quick enough at the beginning.

But, it's clear that we're going to have to live with it for the foreseeable.

My family and me can't carry on like we are in full lockdown indefinitely.

Certain people have been intolerable throughout this. First it was the joggers and the cyclists killing people, then it was people sitting on park benches, then people going to the shops.

I've been attacked both on here and in real life for going to a supermarket for my weekly shop, for sending my child to school, because my dh has worked throughout, even though he's had no choice.

It's madness.

The negativity on mn is bringing me down, I've got a feeling a lot of these people are miserable by nature and the cup is always half empty. It's fucking relentless, post after post of doom and gloom 😞

The negativity on mn is bringing me down, I've got a feeling a lot of these people are miserable by nature and the cup is always half empty. It's fucking relentless, post after post of doom and gloom 😞

Userx i agree.

I also think that some people secretly led very boring, miserable lives before, and deep down are glad that for a while everyone else had to be the same.

If you mean like the thread on 2nd wave prepping. How depressing. How about enjoy what we have now. Mumsnet is a seriously depressing place sometimes.

@Pootle40

If you mean like the thread on 2nd wave prepping. How depressing. How about enjoy what we have now. Mumsnet is a seriously depressing place sometimes.

Yep! Most depressing thread ever.

You literally cannot share anything positive without instant second wave/spanish flu/long term health problems/there is no immunity. Alot of people are not willing to see positives

Positivity and pessimism are just two different but undersrandable responses to events, we are all just dealing with it. There's really not much point just slagging the other group off.

Although i do find in real life no one is like that. Everyone i know is going about their business and finding fun where they can.
Taking precautions yes but doom and gloom no.
I spent today helping a rural centre with a bit of pruning , sweeping and weeding . There were 10 of us and we all had a lovely day. No doom and gloom talk at all.
I think most people are like this.
Social media / mumsnet is not representative

When you worry you suffer twice.

Whether there will or will not be a second wave, we will suffer that at the time, no need to be miserable indefinitely until then!

I'm not "slagging" off another group of people but more so saying they don't actually have any facts to base the negativity on. So why not just wait and see 🤷🏼‍♀️ nobody can know what will happen with this, even the experts say so!

1 in 2 people will get cancer in their lives. But I don't see people constantly reminding us of this when we are trying to get on with life. How depressing would that be. There's also a million other horrible things that could go wrong in everyone's lives but we don't sit here preempting every scenario all day every day.

Can't we just take each day as it comes?

I agree with a few other posters on here - some people do thrive on drama, pessimism and get off on bringing others down.

Agreed. There is so much doom and gloom about.

The overall cases/deaths are really going in the right direction (I follow it quite closely) but the media seem to be determined to spread negativity.

I am a secondary teacher and I am really pleased with the announcement that schools are opening full time in September for all. Yet all I hear is negativity.

Yes I almost feel like people are enjoying being like this about it all too

@Rubychard if you look up UK Research and Innovation (UKRI) you'll find lots of info about the vaccine development. UKRI is the government's research and innovation agency and we've funded scientific research into Covid-19 as well as providing financial support to businesses.

People don't realise we exist! www.ukri.org/

[quote HorsesDogsNails]@Rubychard if you look up UK Research and Innovation (UKRI) you'll find lots of info about the vaccine development. UKRI is the government's research and innovation agency and we've funded scientific research into Covid-19 as well as providing financial support to businesses.

People don't realise we exist! www.ukri.org/[/quote]
Well done to you horses! You guys need to bang your drum louder. The british public need to hear more about all the fab stuff that goes on, not all the nonsense arguing about quarantine rules with nicola surgeon

Wow @horsedogsnails that's amazing. Such a shame that doesn't get the recognition it deserves!
I have no idea what is being done behind the scenes because unfortunately it doesn't suit the agenda of the media (which is make everyone shit scared and miserable) but I have every faith in the people that care enough to work in this field and a ridiculous amount of respect for the work that goes into this sort of thing.

Thank GOD there are people like you who choose to be hopeful and proactive rather than sitting back and moaning how it's all so doomed.

Thank you 😊🙏🏼

I work in an admin team in Innovate UK, so (sadly) I'm not at the cutting edge of medical research or vaccine development , but I'm proud to be a little part of the civil service that is supporting business and innovation right now. We're massively busy and wfh but that actually is a good thing!

When whichever minister announces £x million in support for businesses that gets administered by IUK!

@purpleme12

Yes I almost feel like people are enjoying being like this about it all too

Well it is a (rational) way to cope with events, so whilst I don't think 'enjoying' is correct, clearly it has benefit for the people who do it.

Is it a rational way to deal with events? I'm not sure I can see that

@purpleme12

Is it a rational way to deal with events? I'm not sure I can see that

Yes, I think it is rational to say 'i find this situation scary, what can I do to feel more in control'.

I think it is also rational to say 'I don't know that anything bad is going to happen, so I will enjoy things for now'.

I actually find positive people terrifying because you may have missed something

Obv some people take to extremes, but I think all humans are a bit strange really and this situation is really very extreme, so we'll all get more into our comfort behaviours. And that makes the other types seem more annoying.

Because positive types really need to be positive right now.

And worried types really need to worry right now.

Good luck with the birth OP. You will be fine.💐I have close family with health issues including DH who had a major op and after care during lockdown and a GC who has had cancer treatment throughout and both were looked after superbly with no hitches. MN and much of the media is a hotbed of gloom and doom at the moment with talk of a the dreaded second spike etc. Nobody knows for sure , but chances are, with all the worldwide expertise and finance that is being thrown at it, we will be fine. I am an allied healthcare practitioner, DS a nurse and we don't hear this negativity at work, strangely enough.