What have others done about paying their childminder’s fees?

[Thisgroupneverceasestoamazeme]

I’m feeling a bit awkward about it all. When they announced they had to close (including to key workers children, we’re both key workers but have supportive employers so have managed to WFH and tag team childcare) I asked about fees and was told that they’re asking that people who are on full pay continue to pay until they know how the government would be supporting self employed people. Didn’t hear anything so we paid full fees until the portal opened for people to apply for the self employment support, and then when we contacted the childminder about it she agreed for us to stop paying. I assumed we’d be refunded the difference once she’d received payment from the government or it would be offset against fees once they reopen this month. (We had a conversation from which I took away that this was the plan but when I messaged to confirm last week she said she didn’t remember the conversation) I’m happy to top up to make it up to full pay for her but I’m not happy at the thought of paying out well over a grand while we actually had to A) do the job we were still paying her for as well as work full time and B) pay out for more food and nappies when they were included in the fees, so we’ve essentially paid for them twice! We’re not massively high earners so childcare makes a pretty big dent in our income.

They’re nice people so I’m sure they’re not trying to rip us off but it does feel like a p*ss take. I had to bring it up when they closed, then again once the government started taking applications for the self employment support and now I’ve had to raise it again and she’s said she’ll get back to me. It’s making me feel like I’m being a money grabbing tight wad! I’m starting to wonder if maybe I am? I’m a first time mum and our child had only attended for 6 weeks when they closed so I’m not sure I’m maybe I’m being unreasonable or not!

Any thoughts?

I don’t actually get the expectation that you paid at all. I’m self employed and all my clients cancelled or paused contracts with immediate effect, which was exactly as I expected.

We paid our childminder for the last 3 months even though she was closed. Mine and DH’s incomes hadn’t changed, we were both still working, and so we would never have withheld pay for something that was completely out of her control. She was adamant that we didn’t have to pay her but it felt right for us to continue to do so.

Our son started back this week and although he’s normally just term time she said that she will have him, and our other son (who she doesn’t even have on her caseload) whenever we want over the Summer holidays as her way of thanking us.

She’s been an amazing childminder for many, many reasons hence why we carried on paying her, we felt like it was our turn to re-pay her for all the kindness she has shown us, and for all the times she has gone above and beyond for us.

Our childminder didn't charge anything when she closed (stayed open for key workers). Then when she reopened for June she only charged 50% for those who didn't want to send their children in yet as a retainer. She is doing the same for July and reviewing it monthly. I'm not sure why you paid anything when they closed? They were not able to offer a service, even for key workers.

I hadn’t expected to pay either so when I asked I was surprised but it felt reasonable as at the time I’d expected it to be for a week or two maybe. I don’t want to damage our relationship with them and at the same time I’ve paid them for a service that I haven’t received!

I completely understand she has bills to pay too so we are very willing to top up our share of the 80% she’s received from the government to make it up to full pay but if she’s claiming that AND accepted full pay while we’re out of pocket it doesn’t feel very reciprocal.

It’s lovely that you’ve chosen to do that @QueenofmyPrinces and it sounds as though you have a great relationship with your childminder. We’d only just started using ours and I’d been on SMP for the last 6 months so money is pretty tight for us.

But how do you know what she has or hasn’t received ?
I’m a cleaner - a very, very good & profitable one but I’ve only been self employed since last April so o can claim ZERO
You have no idea what your CM finances are

I only use childminder for wrap around care usually for 1/2 the week so £140 a month before COVID...I’m on furlough at the moment on 80% wage so have been paying Her £100 a month which she is happy about and I think is fair.

We have paid full fees all the way through as we wanted our childminder in business when she could have the children again. Our child is now back with her and so happy.

I’m sorry you’re in that position. Must be absolutely devastating for you. I hope you’re managing okay.

I don’t know the ins and outs of her financial situation, at the same time, she told me she was planning to claim the money and had very specifically said that she was asking us to pay until she knew what the government was offering. It seems reasonable for her to keep us updated on this. I’ve had to do all the chasing for updates and even then they’ve been pretty vague when it comes to fees.

That reply was for @WallsKOL btw...

I think reading these replies, what I’m feeling awkward and uncomfortable about is the lack of communication and discussion on the matter. If she’s been unable to claim anything from the self employment fund then of course I’m happy to contribute so she’s not out of pocket and hadn’t lost any of her income as well as covering any ongoing costs (Utility bills, insurance etc). However, the fees do cover things that I’ve had to pay for again like food and nappies.

In reply and I completely understand every profession is different.
As I stated earlier I can’t claim anything other £24.44 UC .
I haven’t been to 1 of clients for the last 14 weeks. I work for them 8 hours a week. They have both WFH throughout. I’m down £1400.
I love them & their family BUT I now think I’m the mug. There is no re-start date - I simply cannot absorb 1/5 of my weekly wage

She sounds greedy. If new business then yes she likely wouldn't have received support from government but if well established she would have been able to get support assuming she declared all her earnings. Then it's her own fault if she didn't. The least she should have done is reduced the pay since not incurring costs. I would be strongly expressing my dissatisfaction if I were you. Guess it depends on how much you want to continue using her as to how strong the expression is

Can you call her for a chat? Let her know it's not sustainable for you and you need you work something out. Rather than messaging back and forth you might be able to get a straight answer in a direct conversation.

If you receive payments from the government scheme, you can't expect payment from the family as well. One if my clients ended immediately and I was told I was entitled to the govt payouts. I wouldn't then go to the family and expect them to pay me as well. Surely it's one or the other, not both?

Oh that’s awful. I can imagine having no restart date is making it all the more stressful for you. I’d hate to leave anyone in the lurch like that and as I say. I want to top the child minder up to full pay. It’s just that if she has been able to claim from the government then we could really do with a refund from the extra money she’ll have received.

What jumps out to me in all of this is that you cannot have a reasonable conversation regarding money and payment. There is nothing in writing between you both. What would happen if there was something you weren't happy about with your DCs care? I think you need to look for a new childminder. I say this as someone who unfortunately got bitten by one who couldn't communicate properly with me.

We've paid ours throughout lockdown. We have both been earning the same as usual so it was only fair. We are sending DC back as of next week part time as my workload is no longer manageable with two DC at home the days DH is in work. We've agreed to pay the correct amount but CM had offered to pay from what we have paid since March.

I'm a childminder. I didn't charge parents anything when I want working. I claimed the SEISS. I have parents who are not yet back at work and as a short term plan I'm not charging them anything to hold the space. My view is they are self employed (beauty/nails) and so am I. I'm lucky that I can now return to work but we're all in this together and I don't want to add to their family stress at this time.

@roses2, yes...I do need to speak to her rather than messaging. She’s absolutely wonderful with the children but I think she’s quite uncomfortable discussing fees. I’ve offered to phone to discuss it and I have had a conversation with her about it where she got a bit flustered. That was the one that gave me the impression we’d be paying reduced fees to offset what we’d paid while they were closed but said she’d confirm what the plan was but never did.

@Rhica, that’s my issue I think, she’s a great fit for our child and they were very happy there so I don’t want to sour things and at the same time it’s not just a few quid we’ve paid out and potentially said goodbye to

@Diverseduvet, exactly. I had expected a call or some communication letting us know either way once they’d applied for the government funding. It did cross my mind that perhaps they haven’t declared their full earnings so were just keeping quiet unless we brought it up.

We’ve also paid our CM throughout lockdown. Initially as there was no certainty over what the self employed might receive, however once she did receive something she asked us to continue paying as a retainer. She hasn’t been allowed to do the school run (both school & LA didn’t want her collecting kids from multiple bubbles) and we currently have no idea if she’ll even be allowed to do the school run in September. It doesn’t sit well with us to keep paying indefinitely if we are unable to use her services but what other choice have we got? We need to keep the places open as there is no other wrap around provision.

@Fatted yes, I completely agree...that’s what’s jumping out to me as well and I had that exact thought about how she handles difficult conversations and what would happen if I needed to challenge with regards to care of our baby when I was thinking about posting this. She’s been very non-committal when I’ve tried to pin her down or be specific. Having only been back at work for 6 weeks after mat leave this was the first time I’d encountered any problems with her. I guess that’s the toss up...do I look elsewhere when at the moment it’s going to be very difficult to visit properly and get a real feel for the setting or do I suck it up and know to be a bit smarter next time? From what I’ve read on the PACEY website they can’t expect or ask for payment If they’re closed and if it’s offered then there needs to be something in writing.

@Brunionfire are you still paying full fees?

A lot of people haven't in the past declared their full earnings and now it's come home to roost. They have profited from doing this and should take the rough with the smooth!
If she is unable to claim the SEISS then you need to ask her why. If she is getting it, then she's being greedy. It's a no win either way, because you should expect her to act with integrity.

The other thing to add to this is that we’ve been working flat out AND caring for a baby so sorting this keeps moving further down the to do list and I thought she’d confirmed that we would be paying reduced fees a while ago (incase you’re wondering why I’m bringing this up now!)

At the start of lockdown we messaged our childminder and offered to pay her 50% of fees all the time me and my partner were on full wages. She has been a massive help for after school care and we very much need her for after school care once he goes back to school. We've been very lucky that I've worked the whole way through and my partner has been at home but on full pay, we did explain that should things change in our wages/circumstances then we would reassess.

@Diverseduvet exactly...I’m feeling awkward about it despite the fact I haven’t really done anything wrong and I think it’s because I’m feeling a bit of a mug and disappointed that she’s not being totally upfront and keeping us in the loop