New mums - letting family hold baby

[newnameagainz]

Can I have some yes we are no we're not responses please -

Is anyone letting their extended family (baby's nans/grandads) hold their newborns / young babies and if so what precautions are you taking ?

No judgements either way just looking to see what people's views are ......

I wouldn't die to covid

Due not die

Yes, following good hand washing and sanitising, and masks. Grandparents only

And also, what if your older children who are now back at school and now going back and forth between homes - would you let them hold baby ?

Feeling a lot of pressure and guilt and just looking to see whether how I feel is the same as other new mums and how they're dealing with it

My baby is 5mo now. He was tiny when this started. My mum was away when he was born so has held him twice before lockdown, I haven't let her hold him since for her protection. Breaks my heart but Its not worth the risk of never having grandma cuddles

@SodOffCovid so you're doing it more so to protect your mum rather than baby ?

My little girl is 7 weeks. We let my parents hold her two weeks ago before my partner went back to work. We had isolated for 2 weeks and so had they. They have not seen her since, but in all honesty, we will start letting them very soon. My partners back at work so we are not risk free anyway.

We are going to let immediate family (grandparents) hold the baby, as long as they are willing to isolate first and not see friends etc.

No one has held my 16 week old daughter yet, however when we go see family next month we will let my mum hold her, as she has had a positive antibodies test.

Congratulations on your baby Op!

Following this thread as I have a 5 month old and looking for the same advice x

I don't have a new born but my close friend is an obstetrician and her brother is also a doctor and she just had a baby and as soon as she left hospital she went straight to her parents house and her sister was there and the cousins. She sent me the pics. She's not worried about it as nobody has symptoms, it's an area with low infection rate and nobody is shielding. I very much trust her judgement, but you need to follow your own instinct. MN is funny generally I find about people holding baby , so would you have been anxious anyway? Bf is in a less affected European country if that matters!

Really appreciate everyone taking the time to reply

My baby is 8 weeks old and her siblings have been with their dad due to me having high risk pregnancy and then baby has been unwell so advised to wait until after her 8 week jabs before they start going between homes.

That, coupled with my partner going back to work next week, has left us confused on what's for the best as he will be holding her and I will struggled to stop her siblings touching her (although they are old enough to understand why they can't if I tell them they can't)

Doctors have told us it is up to us

I have a two week old and grandparents have held her and we made them wash hands and wear masks.

Immediate family I have let as they are all isolating and have good hand hygiene. Anyone else would be a no at the moment. My baby is 8 weeks.

@newnameagainz yes, she's not shielding or vulnerable but she did have health problems a few years ago and I couldn't risk her being poorly again. I need her for alot longer than only right now. I've seen her on her driveway only. Trust me there's been lots of tears but for us it hasn't been worth it. The rules are obviously relaxing now but my mum has more grandchildren so making a bubble with just my boys wouldn't be fair on my nephews and neices who are all little. It's hard times. Do what you think is best. I don't think anyone would judge you harshly in any direction.

Yes. They were not isolating and neither are we in a way where we go to shops as rarely as possible.

I don't mean to sound judgemental here but are you saying you haven't seen your other children in 8 weeks + and in that time you've had a baby?

I think the risks to your DC mental health would be more of a concern than Covid.

Sorry to be so blunt.

My baba is 14 weeks now. My mum is shielding so we’ve sadly had to agree no for now but she does see DD twice a week in the garden for a good few hours! DD recognises her & my dad now & gives them big smiles! So not all is lost if you can at least still see relatives from a distance?! My mum doesn’t hold my baby to protect her not the other way around. The vast vast majority of children are thankfully not getting very ill with Covid!

We’ve seen the other set of grandparents once and we did let them hold DD. Not all day, just for 5 minutes each in the garden. When the new rules come in, we’ll be going to stay with our in laws (who live 5 hours away) & frankly, I’ll be throwing my children at them 🙈 A newborn & toddler in lockdown has frankly exhausted me, physically & mentally. I need a break for my sanity & mental health!

Yes I am, hand washing, sanitiser and no touching or kissing babies face.

My DS is 3 months old and will be meeting his cousins and aunt for the first time tomorrow and yes they will be able
To hold him. He hasn't met his grandparents yet or anyone else in the extended family but we are visiting them in July so he will be held then too.

So far the only people who have held him outside our household have been midwives and doctors. My friends have admired him from afar in the park.

My baby is 7 weeks old. At first we didnt let them but it was breaking our hearts and theirs , so after 3 weeks we let our parents and siblings hold them. Obviously nobody had symptoms, and this was during garden visits. Still feel awful we didnt let them have a hold in the first few weeks.

Thank you for all your responses, it's certainly helping me make a decision, a horrible position to be in for everyone

@Crunchymum I understand what you are saying and believe me i am well aware of how this May effect them - but to clarify, my children went abroad with their dad in March - when they came back they had to isolate for 14 days, then lockdown began and because I was high risk pregnancy and their dad is a key worker they had to stay with him, had they not been abroad and they were with me when lockdown began, they would've stayed with me and not seen him if that makes sense - our baby then had many problems and has been in and out of hospital - I have seen them - it's not like I've disappeared off the face of the earth - we have been to visit at the bottom of drive etc and been out for walks with them - they are both old enough to understand the reasons why.

Sorry to hear your baby has had problems @newnameagainz

My DC3 was unexpectedly in neonatal and it was hard going, even without lockdown.

Get your older kids home as soon as you can, you'll all feel better for it. Best of luck.

I'm letting my parents and sister hold our 3 month old and didn't ask them to take any special precautions. My parents are being very careful anyway and have barely been out and my sister had had a negative test a couple of days beforehand. I feel that my parents are adults who can make their own decision about the risk to them from our baby. If the risk profile had been different e.g. if any of us were working with the public or if my baby had been particularly vulnerable I might have made a different decision.

My family is very important to me and I would have found it heartbreaking to deny my parents the opportunity to hold their grandson until he was potentially 4 months+ old. I felt that them holding him as a newborn was an experience we would never get back and worth a small risk. It has been lovely to see them with him and has really helped us all get through lockdown. I don't think the risk of the baby from covid is that different to the risk to the baby from other illnesses. I also think it's beneficial for my baby to see different faces and be held by different people now.

In my NCT group all but one have let our parents hold our babies and about half had their mum to stay for a week or two.

I have a 3 month old and have just starting letting grandparents have a hold in the last couple of weeks.

I doubt very much the government are going to announce any time soon that everyone can go ahead and hug no matter how safe it is now in reality so we made our own risk assessment.