How the hell are parents meant to work?

[worzelsnurzel123]

With this latest blow from schools and yet further delays, I predict employers will cease to be “ fair” and they will run out of the patience BJ vaguely muttered about hoping they’d have. So what are the options?

1. Resign from jobs? This could have massive impact on income, likely to affect women and the future of women’s’ rights and progress in the workplace, creation of mental health issues and socio economic problems
2. Will some parents be pushed in to feeling the have no choice but to leave kids home alone? Esp those who are borderline age group eg 8-12. Not ideal at all. Clearly this will impact on MH, safety, parental work performance.
3. Leave kids with grandparents who are likely to be over 70 in many cases, shielding or vulnerable. Risks of passing the virus on would lead to guilt , worry on both sides.
4. Wait for everything to fuck up work wise, scrabble for child care here there and everywhere, lose employers good will due to time off needed and eventually get dismissed for poor attendance, breach of conduct and or poor performance

This is a disgrace. An absolute disgrace

@Wondergirl100 I'm being saved by the furlough scheme at the moment. When that ends I will be in an impossible situation if school is still part time.

And then there is the 6/7 week of summer school "holiday". No summer childcare provision or sport type day activities. What do we do ????

The contempt for parents and working choldn6...oh please give it a fricking test already the whole world doesnt revolve about parents and their kids. It these parents who been on here throughout lockdown screaming about locking down how they cant believe they gonna risk people lives their children's lives all the ay through to I'm not sending my child back even though the rate is declining and now all a sudden it's like a lightbulb has gone on and it's how dare they not educate my kids.

Everyone has suffered through lockdown not just kids, single people, people living alone, vulnerable people.

So its really simple stop harping on about being so scared of the virus accept some risk and ldts stop social distancing so things ar back to normal otherwise deal with the fact that's things wont be.

feellike I can’t face thinking about the holidays. What a crock of shit this all is.

these parents who been on here throughout lockdown screaming about locking down how they cant believe they gonna risk people lives their children's lives all the ay through to I'm not sending my child back even though the rate is declining and now all a sudden it's like a lightbulb has gone on and it's how dare they not educate my kids

Bollocks. I never supported schools closing. I've never thought my child's life was at any great risk. Or mine.

Nobody is asking for the world to revolve around us. We just want an education for our children and we want to be able to work to provide for them. I don't think that's much to ask.

'.. the issue with everyone going back to school as normal is that the second a child, teacher or someone they live with develops symptoms or is diagnosed with Covid the WHOLE school would have to close for at least 2 weeks'

Untrue.

I never wanted schools to close and I've been fairly lax about social distancing. I'm not scared of coronavirus.

@fia101

Wish the government would just come out and admit they're building the plane as they're flying it - they haven't a clue. It is a complete and utter car crash

I like the analogy. Although you could use the one of a car and backseat passengers who are constantly pressing the driver to keep altering the route.

However, to in response to my earlier post, maybe I was a bit facetious, regarding sorting out other arrangements. I'll hold my hand up to that one.

However, the fact remains that there are two opposing views and wants, and unfortunately, for those that need to go back to work and/or are worried about children's education, the 'it's too risky for the little darlings' argument has won, for the time being.

So, what to do about, apart from lobbying the government to think again?

No idea. But decisions will have to be made, some of which you don't really want to make, as there will be no other choice. This is naturally scary for people who may have planned their life just so, but now there is a great big spanner in the works and assumptions and plans are in flux.

@knobchops I'm in total agreement. I went straight from scrub nurse to Covid-19 ward nurse, I have no post registration ward experience. I went from 8-6pm 4 days a week, barely ever weekends, to a mix of early shifts, lates and nights, sometimes long days, most weekends.

Same on the PPE front, in fact our goggles we used for 5 weeks were removed as they proved ineffective in testing.

And the prize for missing the point most spectacularly goes to..

Can we rephrase this though. It's not women getting shafted as if it's some mysterious effect of the system. It's very simple, MEN are shafting women by impregnating them and then not taking 50% of the responsibility for raising their own offspring.

I'm not saying it's realistic in the current sociological climate but the solution to schools being closed is BOTH parents go part time. Not have one career come crashing to a halt while the other sails on as if nothing's happening.

Imagine, the number of available jobs would double instantly which can only be a good thing

Pretty sure teachers had it harder, Blaby.

Teacher friend of mine apologised for not picking up the phone last week. She was in school on a rota, six kids, eight staff.

Didn’t pick the phone up because, I quote, ‘didn’t get time for a wee all day, madly busy.’

I did wonder how it compared to a nurse on a covid ward in PPE requiring a toilet break.

This is naturally scary for people who may have planned their life just so

Ah yes, of course. All that fuss about "our children need educating" and "how are we supposed to do two jobs literally at the same time" and "I can't leave my six-year-old home alone all day wtf do I do", when what we secretly MEAN is "I am upset that my life isn't fitting perfectly into my colour-coded planner."

It does increasingly feel like people who don't see the problem here don't quite grasp the situation either. We are not saying that schools should be childcare. We are saying that schools are currently providing neither childcare nor education, and that every other available means of childcare at least is not only hard to find, it has been literally made illegal to use. So we are left with having to do our jobs while simultaneously looking after/home-educating our children, which is a bit logistically impossible if your job is anything more challenging than Chief Taster for Walkers Crisps.

@ThatLockdownLyfe you may or may not be aware of the gender pay gap?

If a man is earning £8 more ph than his wife, who is going to stop or reduce work?

If it comes down to the woman stopping and they get by, or they both go part time and can't pay the mortgage, the woman stops.

Imagine one or both of their employers refuses the request to go part time.

You are oversimplifying a complex and age old issue. Your circumstance is not the same for all.

My DH role wouldn’t be even considered on a part time basis. It’s menz work .

@CountessFrog that sounds a challenge indeed! I was already good at holding my bladder scrubbing for surgery, I have got even better at it recently!

Another posters who thinks Schools are childcare?

@Wondergirl100

I'm a journalist (someone was asking if anyone on here is a journalist) and I work at a high profile newspaper. I think it's vital to talk about the impact this is having on working families..but..

The problem is that it's difficult to tell this sort of story -

it's one of those stories that falls between the cracks a bit as not quite news because it's just people's everyday lives...

Would we be saying - thousands of working parents suffer - are people losing their jobs? Are women resigning or taking unpaid leave?

need to know the actual impact. Also, is there a measurable impact on kids?

My own children have suffered hugely - but again, it doesn't make 'news' unless there are standout statistics.

I have been very very angry at how kids have been ignored during lockdown and this is yet another example of family issues not being considered important.

What about opinion pieces? Do you have colleagues who could write an opinion piece if not you? I’m hearing of people giving up jobs yes. Personally I am close to breaking and getting physical stress symptoms now. I am a LP in a challenging job wfh full time with 2 DC.

I don’t understand why this isn’t being picked up on the feminism boards either. We know it’s women being disproportionately impacted in this situation. I’m too shattered tonight but maybe I will start a thread.

I agree with everyone saying we need to just get the schools open again ASAP. The numbers have fallen and even in the worst case of having a second peak (which is unlikely) us older people (I’m almost retirement age) have had a few months now to make our peace and sort our affairs out if the worst happens. But everyone else needs to keep living.

@GoldenOmber This, exactly.

When I had DS we moved to the other end of the country to be close to both sets of grandparents. I ensured I was in a job that could pay for FT childcare, and the grandparents had him after-school a bit on top of the childcare.

The government just removed all that overnight, so my choice is to quit work out completely neglect DS. I know it was the lesser of all evils, but it would be more comforting if it came from leadership which wasn't a a PM who has an unknown number of children (so presumably doesn't concern himself with day to day childcare)

@Wondergirl100 here is an example of a good article, from Canada (I think Canada was recently cited as the only country where the government was taking measures to address the economic and disproportionate impact on women): policyoptions.irpp.org/magazines/june-2020/the-nearly-impossible-balance-for-working-mothers-during-pandemic/

whitbygoth well the government clearly also feel schools are there to provide childcare as that's what they've been doing for key worker's children throughout lockdown. 🤷

Schools as childcare?

Well, only so much as a stay in a hospital is sort of like a guaranteed overnight bed. And your relatives aren’t expected to nurse you

Ah yes here is the news about how different countries are doing regarding gendered impact: care.ca/2020/06/canada-leads-30-countries-in-gender-responsive-covid-action-new-report-highlights-room-for-improvement-in-humanitarian-response/

@Wondergirl100

I know plenty of employers who have been patient and understanding but are expecting resignations because of this. They can't do much more to help. There are also threads on here where companies have said it's rubbish but at least it will save redundancy costs I know plenty of mums (myself included) who are trying to hold down professional demanding jobs and look after young children.

This is not sustainable.

The government needs to do more to help. The furlough scheme has been helpful for those who were able to be furloughed ( no use for me as too busy) but when that comes to an end it will be even worse and whilst employers need to make redundancies based on objective criteria I can see many automatically selecting those furloughed as they've been out if the business for so long ( and many will have only been furloughed because they asked for it due to childcare)

It's a massive equality issue ... the gender pay gap will grow ever wider

@Wondergirl100 - but there IS a story to be told!
Government wants non essential Shops to be opened from June 15th... Pubs and restaurants to follow, some offices are already calling people back. How is that going to work without childcare provision??
ALL Schools should have Reception, y1 & y6 as well as key worker children in... even if it is part time.
Many schools only have one year group in, many schools only take children, where both parents are key workers. There IS a lot of evidence all over social media to support this.
I talk to my friends, family, neighbours, they are all saying similar things... Schools, education and child care is non existent to the majority of working parents.
(I won't mention the Summer Holidays!!)