Anyone else just fed up?!

[Ginandbitterlemonplease]

Sorry I know there has been a million other posts like this, but I’m really struggling tonight and just needed somewhere to vent!

I’m actually dreading waking up in the morning to another full day of working from home with just me and my 4 year old. I’m actually trying to stay awake late tonight just so I get a bit me time.

My little boy is getting far too much screen time, and the guilt is overwhelming but even he has lost his motivation to do anything! I feel bad that I can’t play with him for most of the day and his new best friend is the tv or tablet 😭
Home schooling has went straight out the window, he is just refusing and I haven’t got the energy to battle anymore.
I’m sick of fucking cooking, washing up, even eating and the weight I’ve put on. Jesus!!! Yet I’m still eating a friggen cheese cake whilst moaning about how much I’m eating.

Everyone I know seems to be coping so well and tonight I just feel like a bit fat failure.

Sorry for such a negative post, I just needed someone to tell me they feel exactly the same and I’m not losing my mind! The thought of tomorrow just fills me with dread. Eurgh!

Gracie I’m so sorry about your dog, sending love xxx

I wouldn’t wish this situation on anyone how I feel, but at least we are all in it together!

Not even 9am and my son has already had a meltdown- I’ve told him his nursery teacher is calling him today and he needs to do some work and he has point blankly refused. Is now currently trying to play toys with me whilst I’m sat staring at a computer.

I’m so frightened there is going to be a massive difference in him and other kids when he starts reception.

Roll on bedtime!

I don't think everyone is coping though.

Try not to read the social media posts where some people appear to be doing everything WFT/home schooling 6 kids, housework spotless, zoom/ baking/sewing/ walking 10 miles a day etc etc Some of those usually or can mask a disaster behind the scenes. Some pretend that life is rosy when it's spinning out of control.

Do what you have to do and chill about the rest. Breathe and take time for you. No one can do it all and no one is perfect.

I felt like this over the weekend. I have joined the bootcamp for LC here on MN, they a lovely friendly bunch and losing some of the weight I have gained during lockdown will help my mental health. I hope you feel better soon

My youngest is due to start reception in September and he has far too much screen time. I have three older ones as well and trying to work so am super stressed.
I have decided that it is what it is. They will eventually go back to school and be weaned off screens so we have to do what we do at the moment to get through each day.

I feel guilty but my DH points out we are in extreme circumstances and do what you have to do to get through each day.
The kids need our mental health to be good so do whatever it takes. X

@littlebillie what is the bootcamp for LC? I too have put on weight in lockdown which isn’t helping how I’m feeling at all.

I understand and feel the same way, like PP said, I think many many of us are struggling really badly now.

When I wake up, I "remember" after a minute what's happening and it's like a huge heavy beanbag falls down on my head and weighs me down for the whole day. @TheMurk I know exactly what you mean about the hours - there are so many, they stretch out every day and the days are all the same, over and over and over.

I'm shielding (which I didn't expect and it was depressing enough in itself getting the letter) and before this I had pneumonia and am still poorly so I haven't been outside of my house or seen anyone except my DH and DC for over four months (although I know I am lucky to have a garden to sit in). I am desperate to go to a shop and look and pick something myself - i know it's sounds stupid but I literally sit and daydream about going and looking at tubs of ice cream and seeing a range and choosing the one that I want.

I know I'm also lucky in that my DC are older (homeschooling is shit - whole other thread - but I know toddlers would be too hard for me and shudder with solidarity for those of you with little DC, I remember those days being long even without a lockdown!). I'm also worried about DH's job which is very wobbly and we don't have any back ups and the older DCs' uni and work etc.

It just seems like there are too many worries and they are all so heavy.

I try and look forward to the future in that at least some normality will resume eventually for my DC and they will be able to pick up some threads of their own lives and they have it all before them at least to look forward to and we can hope for this and wait for it.

But selfishly I worry for myself and what will happen to us people who are shielding - I don't know how I can ever feel safe (especially as my lungs are fucked) The feeling of "risk" and "danger" just feels so huge and overwhelming and it's a bit like a bad dream.

It's almost the opposite of having a bad dream and waking up and feeling relieved - I have nice dreams and then wake up and feel shit.

I have reached a point where I can't take anymore. My son desperately needs to go to school properly. Not the shitshow of online work. I am so worried about his GCSE prospects. My mother appears to be getting dementia because she is on her own so much. If I hear the following terms.... social distancing, shielding, new normal, covid, stay home, stay alert, vulnerable, zoom, furlough.....I just want to scream and scream.

Yes, all of this except I have a 15 month old. Wfh when he's awake is next to impossible, so I'm getting up early, working during naps (so no time to do anything else) and when he's asleep. The house is a shit tip, my personal grooming is lacking (nails are too long, body hair like a jungle, skin dry and flaky from lack of baths and exfoliation), I'm putting on weight but can't seem to stop eating. I'm mentally exhausted.

I don't feel it's safe for my child to go back to nursery yet as infection rates are so high, but I might actually have to send him anyway because I can't do this anymore.

Same

I'm furloughed but still doing a fair bit of online training aswel as homeschooling year 5 child and have a year 10 trying to navigate a lot of gcse coursework in a daily basis.

I am really lucky that I'm not physically working however have the constant worry about how I'm going to even start that plan if we do go bak 4 July with two dc still at home,no childcare available (grandparents) and a not very helpful boss who isn't even attempting to come up with any plans etc.

The ones I've come up with have been shunned although they would be beneficial to me my dc and earning potential so who knows

Just had the usual morning email from primary with a very long list of things we will be doing this week 🙄

Me and dh have spent the grand total of about three hours together in three weeks as he's a key worker and is working such long days so I'm the teacher cook cleaner organiser financial person shopper and time manager for everyone.

I just keep telling myself we are lucky we have jobs at the moment and that we are at present healthy and well.

I am lucky to have older kids (for me this would be much harder with very young children) and, for the two who are autistic, not having to face the outside world is easier for them. Which makes my life easier too. So I should be grateful for my many blessings. But I cried yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that. I'm not even sure what it is I'm not coping with!

I’m so frightened there is going to be a massive difference in him and other kids when he starts reception.

Please don't worry about this, I used to work as an EYP and I have a little boy due to start reception, his 'work' at this age should be playing. Small world play will help language skills, drawing helps pre-writing skills, and building with blocks or duplo is a STEM activity for that age group.

Same.DIY done.Now a nothingness made worse by my.sluggish dh.I was.excited.to find some more cleaning😂The work uncertain th is a killer.

What is most annoying is I've always struggled to find time to lose weight. Well now I have time but am lacking motivation. I will look back when life is busy again and kick myself.
As for those furloughed, I honestly don't know how you're coping. Work gives me structure and keeps me sane.

I'm joining in!

I've been furloughed for nearly three months (luckily the company I work for has been able to support itself during its physical closure), the DC are becoming more and more resistant to homeschooling and are fighting me and each other constantly, I lost one of my beloved cats six weeks ago AND I haven't seen my mum for nearly six months. The three of us are miserable and the relationships between us has been damaged enough.

We have stuck to lockdown to the letter since the beginning but now we are done, especially after the blatant flouting of the 'gatherings of up to six people with social distancing' rules we are seeing on the news. We are going to see my mum on Wednesday and yes, we will be hugging her and going in her house. I don't care anymore. Sorry!

I've just started a similar thread - I'm WFH, so busy during the day (no kids) but all the stuff DH and I used to do at the weekends is no longer taking place, and we were supposed to be going to Spain for a fortnight this week (obviously cancelled) but I still have to take my leave from work so I'm wondering how to fill a fortnight when there's not much going on ……. Strange times.

Guys another day down- another day to lie in bed and dread what tomorrow brings! I wish I could turn this into a positive thread but I honestly can’t 😂

I can’t even be bothered to make tea, I’m going to order a take away and then moan about my weight again. Ds has had a million meltdowns today and I’m not far behind him xx

I feel you, you're definitely not alone. Got 2 kids , partner working 5 days a week and I work 2 nights so always exhausted from not being able to sleep after work. Thankfully my nights have never been consecutive. Home schooling a reluctant 7 year old, while trying to entertain a 3 year old who has taken to screaming and crying for my attention only while I'm trying to help my 7 year old. I dread each day!

It is all a bit of a nightmare but one thing not to worry about is home schooling a 4 year old. You can do alot with games at that age but I really wouldn't stress about that.

Can you take a day off work and just have fun with him? If it's raining wrap him up and go out jumping in puddles, anything to make it different.

Yep. There seems to be no clear distinction between days anymore. Milestone birthdays have passed. Holidays and family get togethers cancelled. Nothing to look forward too. Food shopping is a slog. No idea when it'll end.

In the first few weeks some of my colleagues seemed to really find it hard and I was probably a bit smug that actually I didn't find it too bad, but in the last couple of weeks I realise I have had enough. I can't quite be arsed with anything anymore which makes me think I'm getting depressed.

@Borgmann I feel the same if I hear the words social distancing I just want to bash my head against the wall!!
My mum has become depressed and never suffered before ! I have to work full time and have 2 young boys whilst DH goes to work and he thinks he is hard done by I don't get a break

Really struggling all day today.
Poor DD is very sensitive and picks up on my mental state easily. We were both in tears at trying to do her maths work.
How is everyone coping with trying to teach their children stuff that they don’t even understand? I got an F for maths whey I did it at GCSE over 25 years ago, and am struggling to do the maths meant for 9 year olds, FFS!

Poor DD wrote me a note when she went upstairs to get ready for bed, saying that she’s so sorry for making me sad and that she loves me so much.
Had to try explaining that it’s not her, it’s just the situation.

Also trying to keep my business afloat (unsuccessfully), sell my house, and buy another (and try to decide where to move to in order to get DD into a decent secondary), so all of that is adding to the pressure.

All the other life admin is such a struggle to wade through too - my secure key to get onto online banking broke today, plus my phone provider is being a nightmare, the internet keeps going down etc
It’s all the added stuff piling up too.

I hear you! I'm so fed up of all of it. 11 weeks I worked my arse off from home with my two year old and not so much as a thank you. Now DS is back at nursery four days a week I'm trying to cram a full days work into five hours a day only for
some stuck up cow I work with to say "can't you just leave him at nursery longer" when I couldn't dial into to yet another fucking zoom call.
No Brenda, I can't! Apparently there is some kind of global pandemic going on so they have to limit nursery places to try and get two year olds to social distance aaaaarrrrgggghhh

I'm putting on weight, I want to go running but have no time, want to go shopping without having to queue for an hour without said two year old trying to jump out of the trolley or pop to B&Q to buy a light bulb without 500 other people waiting to go in!

Well feels better to get it out there I guess but honestly I'm just so fed up. I really want to see
My parents who are three hours away but it's just so far to go to sit in their garden.

@wobblywibble I have had exactly the same regarding work. My sons nursery hasn’t opened yet so he’s at home with me all day. Much to my colleagues despair.
“So is he going to be with you all day whilst your working then?“
“No il just lock him in the fucking cupboard should I?”
I honestly feel like locking myself in the cupboard-with snacks- and not coming back out till this is all over!

Oh so much of this resonates with me. I’ve been furloughed since late April as DH works FT from home and it just wasn’t possible for me to wfh and look after DS, who’s 2.5. DH would help if he could but his work is really intense right now and he’s the main breadwinner (I’m part time).

I just miss going out to work, being somewhere else. Before I was furloughed I could at least take a few hours here and there for Zoom meetings or work on my laptop. Now it’s constant toddler time with no respite. I take DS out for 2 hours every day but the days just seem so long and empty. I’ve had really bad anxiety on and off since late April and it feels like my hormones are going nuts as I’m still breastfeeding DS but now it’s constant. It reminds me of being on mat leave when I had PND. That’s what it often feels like and I never wanted to revisit that, we chose not to try for another child because my mental health had been so bad on mat leave. And now this.

Fucking lockdown.