Met up with friends - guilt

[CricketCrocket]

I met up with a friend and our kids today for a walk. We all started off socially distancing but the kids then started getting closer and closer and ended up walking side by side.

My friend and I tried to always stay 2m apart and the closest we got was 1m.

At the end of the walk the kids started larking about and playing tag.

I’ve been so strict with not seeing anyone but it has definitely mentally affected us not seeing anyone else.

The joy in the kid’s faces was so lovely to see and it’s the happiest I’ve seen them in ages.

I feel horrendously guilty now.

Well there's nothing you can do about it now, so I guess you'll have to learn to live with the guilt.

Don’t feel bad, the kids don’t have to socially distance at school.

It's fine, there is nothing to feel guilty about. Some people are happy living such insular lives and that's great for them, most people aren't and it's time we started getting on with things. How long are we going to be expected to stay apart from people for?! Carry this on much longer and there will be a massive influx of depression, breakdowns and suicides from those who really can't live in this bubble forever.

Life is full of risk, to live and not just exist we have to take it.

Why do you feel guilty?
Do you think you have given them coronavirus? Or given it to someone else?

I took my son on a socially distanced play date this week and I felt the same. On two occasions the kids got close and I had to remind them. I think it was lovely for my son but I will definitely limit these meet ups as I think it would be too easy to get relaxed about not keeping a distance.

I think I’m feeling guilty because we’ve been told for so long not to see anyone and to stay apart and I’ve now broken those rules.

None of our kids are in the school years that have returned to school so won’t be mixing with others.

I think you did just the right thing. These kids need to enjoy socialising again within reason. As you said yourself you've been strict with the rules up to now so the chances of your children having Coronavirus must be miniscule. It's seemingly becoming more and more likely that the virus was in the country from late 2019. Think how many tens of thousands of interactions your children had from then until lockdown and they were fine. Now you're worrying about them getting it from one interaction with one other family after months of isolation. Our risk assessment facilities have become very off balance I feel due to constant media attention of this virus and daily death counts etc.

Most kids go back to school on Monday. My sons nursery reopens on the 15th- he isn’t going back yet as I have holiday to take in July- but most of his peers are.
On the 14th he’s got a play date with a couple of them.
It’s against the rules but we’ll be outside, and the risk will be way lower than it will the following day when the state says nurseries being open is fine (though those MUCH lower risk, more traceable interactions will still not be)

The govt have cocked this up royally and real risk management has been sidelined in favour of policy. Engage your bloody brain, assess risks, and make sensible decisions based on keeping your family and social circle safe- don’t ask this morally bankrupt, criminally negligent govt to do it for you.

Your allowed to meet up to six people now, if standing closer than 2M brought your child joy I would only feel happiness in your position!

I wouldn't feel guilty at all, you are outside , the risk is minimal

I think I’m feeling guilty because we’ve been told for so long not to see anyone and to stay apart

Yes but WHY? What was the reason we were told to stay apart? It was to reduce the risk of transmitting the virus. The risk of doing that is now pretty low. If you've both been distancing as much as possible the risk is negligible. You're feeling guilty because you broke a rule, not because you've actually done anything that would cause any harm.

There is nothing wrong it what you did.

There is EVERYTHING wrong in the stupid advice this pathetic Government trots out daily.

Do it again.

It is ridiculous and demoralising that anyone should be feeling guilty for doing this.

Please don’t feel guilty. You’ve done nothing wrong.

I honestly feel like I’ve lost the ability to think for myself. I’ve been so terrified of this virus even though my immediate family are very low risk of getting it severely.

My DH hasn’t been as worried as me and has said that we need to start weighing up the risk to our mental health vs the virus.

Your DH is right. You and another consenting adult made a decision to meet and let your children enjoy time together! You’ve nothing to feel guilty for, you weren’t licking strangers in the supermarket!

I think OP you need to start making decisions and judging risks for yourself rather than relying on the government. Two kids playing tag outside is pretty low risk and very beneficial for all to get out and have fun.

Most people, and you are one, are intelligent enough to do your own risk assessment. So long as you and your friend have been socially distancing outside your own families the chances of you having or catching the virus are tiny - and for your children even less.

I don't think I would even feel guilty about that, seeing the joy on your children's faces.

Most are not going to be in school now until at least September, and if they are in school they're probably not socially distancing. Make your own little friendship bubble for them.

Unless you're going to wait for the vaccine you need to make your own sensible risk assessments when it comes to children. Adults are able to socially distance and should continue to do so, children are a different story.

Dear God. You clearly need to meet up with your friends more frequently.

People need to do their own risk assessments. If Dds best friend didn't have bad asthma we would do the same. I would limit the playdates/meet ups to just one other family though.

As it stands my parents and brother live on the same road as Dd and me we've been meeting up (shock horror) inside their home since week 6. The 5 of us (+ Dd dad who she sees twice weekly) is our entire family and it has made lockdown far more bareable. Now if my family was big with lots of siblings and grand children or there were any health conditions I would have made a different choice.

I think finding out how prevalent Covid is in your community helps too, there have been just over 2000 cases in my entire county, and it's a big county so knowing that I feel more comfortable with my choices.

Don't feel guilty and enjoy your child's pleasure and happiness in such a dark time.

If we all just give up on social distancing completely we will be back in exponential growth fast. So the blanket policy of just doing whatever you want that some posters are suggesting isn't one I agree with.

That said, I would not feel guilty about this and I would not worry. The chances that anyone in your group was infectious are low, and you were all outside and largely distancing. These things happen and you might aswell just enjoy the fact that the kids had a good time. Without abandoning all caution you can make judgments about what is low risk and I think what happened is not worth worrying about at this point.

I honestly feel like I’ve lost the ability to think for myself

Why, @CricketCrocket?

You are presumably an intelligent woman who can make her own decisions in every other sphere of life. Why can't you do this in the context of a virus which you almost certainly won't get, and which almost certainly won't affect you or your friend or any of your children?

I loathe being told what to do, and this whole business has reinforced it.

@TheExterminatingAngel

I honestly feel like I’ve lost the ability to think for myself

Why, @CricketCrocket?

You are presumably an intelligent woman who can make her own decisions in every other sphere of life. Why can't you do this in the context of a virus which you almost certainly won't get, and which almost certainly won't affect you or your friend or any of your children?

I loathe being told what to do, and this whole business has reinforced it.

Because I’ve been strictly adhering to the guidelines for the past 10 weeks and have got myself in such a state about it all.

I’m terrified of doing the wrong thing and putting someone in danger and that’s another reason why I feel so guilty about not socially distancing today. I know the risk is low for both our families but I can’t shake off a feeling of doom.

I’m also worried about being judged by others for breaking the rules of lockdown.

I wasn’t like this at all pre coronavirus, quite worrying how quickly my mental health has nosedived.

Please don't feel guilty! I met up with a friend and hugged her the other day.. I felt awful but she needed it, has been going through and awful time and is about to move 200+ miles away. So for that moment it didnt matter. I have decided to self isolate for the next two weeks now though, just in case..