Met up with friends - guilt

[CricketCrocket]

I met up with a friend and our kids today for a walk. We all started off socially distancing but the kids then started getting closer and closer and ended up walking side by side.

My friend and I tried to always stay 2m apart and the closest we got was 1m.

At the end of the walk the kids started larking about and playing tag.

I’ve been so strict with not seeing anyone but it has definitely mentally affected us not seeing anyone else.

The joy in the kid’s faces was so lovely to see and it’s the happiest I’ve seen them in ages.

I feel horrendously guilty now.

@CricketCrocket I'm sorry if I was too strident. My own mental health is shot by lockdown. I have lost my business as a direct result of lockdown. My children should be doing GCSE and A level, and are instead stuck at home with me.

The one and only thing I have left is my own intelligence and free will. And so I have seen my partner every day since March, because neither of us has seen anyone else, and we have made a decision that nobody will die as a result of us seeing and shagging one another.

The government, in its great wisdom, would say that he and I should just move in together. Tell that to my abused children, who need their home to remain stable and need me not to move anyone else in. In any other context, people would say I was doing the right thing by putting my children first.

People need to use their judgement and weigh up the risks. Please don't worry.

I'm sorry but you clearly knew the kids wouldn't socially distance so why claim to now feel guilty about it?!

I think I’m feeling guilty because we’ve been told for so long not to see anyone and to stay apart and I’ve now broken those rules.

Yes and you clearly broke the rules.

If we all just give up on social distancing completely we will be back in exponential growth fast. So the blanket policy of just doing whatever you want that some posters are suggesting isn't one I agree with.

this. Exactly and now people are just making up their own rules.

Because I’ve been strictly adhering to the guidelines for the past 10 weeks

And most of us are painstakingly continuing to do so...so why couldn't you?

@TheExterminatingAngel I didn’t think that about you at all. I’m sorry for how this has all been affecting you and your business.

@CoronaStoner Honestly, we both thought they would. In our texts to each other when we were arranging the walk we said about distancing and reminded the kids when we first saw each other in person.

I'm interested to know how old the kids are did you REALLY think they'd distance?

@CoronaStoner

Because I’ve been strictly adhering to the guidelines for the past 10 weeks

And most of us are painstakingly continuing to do so...so why couldn't you?

Stop being so sanctimonious. Really, just stop.

@CoronaStoner

I'm interested to know how old the kids are did you REALLY think they'd distance?

Did you really need to write 5 posts in a row? Calm down

@CoronaStoner

Because I’ve been strictly adhering to the guidelines for the past 10 weeks

And most of us are painstakingly continuing to do so...so why couldn't you?

Because one of my kids has mental health issues and their violent outbursts, self hatred and fear of the world has never been greater.

To see them happy, calm and properly smiling for the first time in months isn’t something I wanted to put an end to.

Their ages are 12, 11 and 10 (nearly 11).

@CricketCrocket

I'm sorry you feel bad! The posters on here advocating for risk assessment are spot on.
This is how it's going to feel, I think, going forward - that kind of sick feeling that you've messed up - for all of us as we get back out there.

If we all just give up on social distancing completely we will be back in exponential growth fast. So the blanket policy of just doing whatever you want that some posters are suggesting isn't one I agree with.

Completely agree with this. If we all start breaking the rules to suit ourselves this will never end. And at the ages of 11 and 12 they should know better and be able to stick to it out on walks. If they can’t then don’t go!

Having been unwell for weeks since having first symptoms, as has hulking teenage DS, I would still exercise caution. I really wouldn’t wish this on anyone. It’s been like recovering from a major operation for both of us and that’s speaking from personal experience of lots of surgeries!

But will you do it again? And did you follow lockdown advice before? So why does it now not need to apply? I think what you did is wrong. It’s all well and good everyone saying we don’t need lockdown now, mainly because they are fed up with it, it’s low risk now, it doesn’t matter even if you catch it as it’s only mild to most, life has to go on etc etc. There is some evidence that the R is rising above 1 in some places and we all have a responsibility to play our part in this if we can. Some scientists are expressing concern regarding this. Yet meeting up to 5 other people outside and staying 2M apart isn’t enough for people?

What's done is done. However, we can't go back to how we were, so it's a case of looking at options where they can have fun, maybe a race, hide and seek, but keep their distance.

It’s one thing for the kids not to social distance but you are adults and couldn’t do it? Really?

What are you posting on here for, you could have predicted the reaction. If you want absolution, go and find a priest!

@CricketCrocket

Ignore the sanctimonious, ignorant posters here who can’t distinguish between responsible risk assessment and management, and “Breaking the ruuullleeezzzz”

The rules are frankly bullshit. Bobbins. Nonsense. They have been poorly thought out, badly implemented at the wrong times and are frankly INTENDED to shift the blame for the piss poor management of this pandemic by our government, to the proletariat.

Here are the things that have caused and will continue to facilitate the spread of Covid 19:

• govt slow to react in the first place to the pandemic
• fucked testing for covid
• have no intention of making antigen testing widely available as far as I can see
• did not provide transparent information to the public early in the pandemic (still don’t but the horse has bolted now)

-Inability to secure PPE and supply chains thereof -went into lockdown too late

• never closed borders

-let the virus take hold in care homes and hospitals and did not prioritise bringing the R rate down in these in planning

• allowed the release of patients who were query covid or covid posi into care homes without informing settings of covid status

-never looked at regional R rates- took a “whole nation” approach

In reality community transmission with social distancing, hand washing and mask wearing is believed to be incredibly low- the main loci of infection are care homes and hospitals.
You didn’t follow it to the letter- not ideal but unless you or your mates are symptomatic or are working in hospitals or care homes, it’s actually v low risk.

The SCANDAL here is that a whole nation has been gaslit, not that you went for a low risk walk with mates and your kids touched briefly.

I know zip it's so hard. Myself and the DC saw my parents for the first time in 12 weeks on Friday, outside in their garden. We didn't hug etc (other than DC1 hugging both their legs, but he is very small and they are tall!) but no way was there 2m between us the whole time or even the majority of the time. DC1 sat at the patio furniture with DM doing a puzzle. He also used their downstairs toilet at one point although I didn't let him touch the hand towel or even taps. It was needed, we are very close and they usually see DC at least once a week.

Since then I feel guilty, what if we've passed it on to them. My household have been sticking to lockdown but obviously DH and I have been in supermarkets, we have been on walks, things eg gates, fences have been touched. We wash our hands when we get home, but we don't wash our shopping or anything, just hands.

Don't feel bad, you are probably at very little risk. My sister and I are both single SAHM's to one DC each. We made the choice a few weeks ago to see each other like we used to. We both don't see anyone else and are cautious when out but feel that there's no more risk than if we lived together. Our DC's are much happier and so are we. If shared custody is still allowed, letting DC's see each other feels much less risky.

It sounds as though everything you did was low risk. Everything I've heard says that children are less likely to spread and even if you and your friend were closer than 2 m , in a lot of countries the distancing rule is only 1m or 1.5 m. Don't forget that a lot of people having been working all the way through this crisis in confined spaces and/or no distancing.

You had a nice day. No need to feel guilty, but if you are wishing you had stuck to current guidelines, just be more mindful next time.

Please be kind to yourself. At this point it really is about making your own risk assessment. I'm sure if any if you were showing symptoms you wouldn't have met up.
I went to see my friend yesterday were her birthday. Planned to socially distance but her toddlers were climbing over me in seconds. They haven't been anywhere in weeks and neither have I, I could beat myself up about this but I am a firm believer that mental health comes first and we all felt so much better for having that one day together. 😊