Teenagers

[Poetryinaction]

Not represented on all the zoom-y corona-y tv ads. Hardly seen. Hardly spoken about unless negatively.
I am really worried about them. I remember being a teenager. Needing independence. Needing social interactions, friends, rebellion, direction and physical intimacy. Finding being with my parents hard at the best of times.
Teenagers are stuck at home with devices and there is almost no risk to their health from coronavirus. And if they are seen out, they are criticised (at least on our local facebook pages).
I feel for teenagers and I wish they could socialise.

You are clearly seeing different adverts and social media to me. I've been seeing teenagers appearing in adverts in virtual bands, exercising, dancing. Locally they've been raising money for the NHS, sewing face masks, helping neighbours, running, walking, setting up ventures doing portraits, babysitting and tutoring everything from Maths to football skills.
They seem be a pretty proactive, if slightly intense bunch. It isn't ideal and I'm sure that some are struggling and the picture isn't entirely rosy...but it isn't wholly negative either.

Well I'm very glad to hear it!

My teenager is doing fine, so are my friends kids. I won't swear they are sticking to rules though, the park was swarming with them even before 6 person gatherings were permitted. (Mine haven't socialised in groups but have seen long term boyfriends, one is at his house since early May

According to my SM they are either raising money for the NHS or litter louts is who can't social distance. Strangely the people who think that teens will cause the second wave can't or won't see adults their own age breaking the rules and not social distancing.

My teens have only been out when they see their Dad. One of them has friends all over the town and feels like she will be judged if she gets on the bus for social reasons. (I can't drive her as I'm at work ) The other socialises by gaming headset and is happy with that.

I hope the majority are getting on ok. I just keep thinking about my life at different stages, and wondering when lockdown would have been hardest. I think 18-24.
Also, I teach teenagers, and I guess I miss them.

They are - at least mine are. My son regularly chatted to his mates when we were not allowed out and as soon as allowed to met up for cycle rides etc. Now meets up fairly regularly when not online for school or college. My daughter is not at all social but HouseParty and WhatsApps her friends and just gets on with things. It's only been a couple months, not years. I know some will be struggling but vast majority are fine.

Thanks. I guess if they get on with their parents it's better. What about older teenagers? Uni students?

@Poetryinaction

I hope the majority are getting on ok. I just keep thinking about my life at different stages, and wondering when lockdown would have been hardest. I think 18-24. Also, I teach teenagers, and I guess I miss them.

Are you not in touch with the teenagers you normally teach in a professional capacity?

My DD is 15, I work at her school. Her teachers are messaging from time to time as well as setting work via their internet platform.

The pastoral team are doing huge amounts of social media and outreach via phone etc.

On a personal level DD has been a legend, slotted straight into a routine of work in the morning, socialising online, chilling out and exercise in the afternoon and we spend time together of an evening as usual. Her friends all seem to be coping just as well. Shes even managed to acquire a long-distance boyfriend during lockdown!

Thanks to technology and social media I don't think it will that bad for the majority.

I think it's crap for the teenagers! My DS is 16, he doesn't want to spend his time with us and his annoying little brother. He wants to be with his peers. I have encouraged him to go out ( whilst following the rules) as I think it's important.

The Facebook stuff annoys me, yes there are some teenage louts out there that just can't behave ( I'd be ashamed if DS was one) but everyone seems to tar them all with the same brush

My dd is 15 hasn’t left the house since mid March at all. She is absolutely fine, does her work online and snaps her mates constantly. I know she has been using FaceTime when she puts on clothes and make up She does miss her friends but her generation are used to “hanging out virtually” so she really isn’t that bothered.
We watch movies together , play board games etc. She witters on to her 9 year old sister and takes selfies. I am surprised thought she would be really struggling but she genuinely isn’t.

I'm in ROI, they are allowed to roam in packs of four now!
There was a bout forty of them in my village at the river during the hot weather, no distancing. They are finished school now and my 15 year olds year has no exams, so I think they're fine!

Yep, no one gives a shit about them, not sure why so many MNers and society in general seems to think their interests and rights should be at the bottom of the pile.

I'm sure most MNers are at least moderately fond of their teenage DC and want good things for them now and in their futures.

Yes I try to be in touch with them weekly at least. I have heard back from some but not many. I have heard back from 3 students out of 30 in my Year 11 tutor group. And 6 students out of 10 in my Year 10 class. None of my Year 9s and about 10 students from Years 7 and 8.

I have a teen who has struggled a lot. She has her 18th coming up fairly soon. We’ve been locked down since the second week of March - we all have asthma, me quite badly. She usually goes to art college and they have been good at trying to set up online learning but it’s difficult with no facilities at home and not much space (we’re in a flat). She’s done some work though. She had a boyfriend who lives across London who she was seeing for a year before lockdown. They were talking a lot online but not being able to see each other led to them niggling and arguing constantly and so they’ve broken up. My dd isn’t into social media and she’s really gone to pieces a bit - sleep patterns erratic, not bothering to shower, gained weight. She’s been really depressed and not able to ger out of bed. I’m worried how she will come out of this.

I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope she can start seeing friends and studying properly again soon.

2 of mine are struggling. Getting quite worried about them.One less so, her school has far more contact.

My 14 year old is doing ok with Google Classroom we’ve been isolating since mid March , all of her friends are meeting up on a daily basis and she’s very envious
The thing that concerns me is that this group are venturing to the coast and other places I don’t know the parents but I’m pretty sure that they don’t know what their kids are up to .My child is missing her friends but they are by no means following the rules I’ve suggested that during the Summer hols that the can meet two friends but she feels it’s not worth it if she can’t see them all

Poetry it's good that you're managing to stay in touch with some of them, and I do appreciate it's a worry.

Part of my job involves collating data on our students who aren't engaging with home learning. Every so often a name crops up that I wouldnt expect and that's always a concern. It's a really valuable way of identifying those that need extra support though.

LittleDog I'm sorry to hear your DD is struggling. Is she getting any support with her MH?

I think teenagers deserve credit for how they have handled this situation. Their whole lives have been turned upside down, school ended abruptly, exams cancelled, proms cancelled, trips cancelled, festivals and events that they've looked forward to all gone. Those that should have taken GCSEs this summer are in limbo land between school and college not really getting a lot of work to do. However most that I know have dealt with all these changes amazingly and they have coped and behaved better than many grown ups. The majority have taken the situation seriously and respected the lockdown rules understanding the risks to family members and the wider community.

Teenagers, unless shielding, do not need to be stuck at home (and even if they are, can now choose to go out if individual circumstances safe)

There are many sports possible now. oodles of volunteering opportunities (OK that might be older teens only) and just hanging out (properly distanced) with mates

But the shielded are so often overlooked. We are not all elderly!

Unfortunately online (leisure and fitness) options are beginning to shrink, as providers are all switching to RL as fast as they can.

So it might get tougher for the most vulnerable from about now onwards

My two are coping really well and never moan about being forgotten or having to give up freedom for vulnerable people or any of those things I keep seeing here - they see all lives as important and so abide by lockdown rules, plus I'm shielding so they've been careful. 16 year old DS is in that GCSE limbo land but has spent time earning money doing Fiverr coding gigs, online guitar lessons and teaching himself to play drums. 19 year old DD is missing uni a lot but is getting on with online work and talks to friends all day and seemingly all night. They're a lot more resilient than I thought they might be at the beginning and so are most of their friends. I do feel for teens struggling with MH though as services are already cut to the bone and now almost inaccessible, I worry about the effects of lockdown on them. But for many teens it's fine - a bit of a pain, but not really damaging.

I've got DC aged 12, 14, 16 and just turned 18 as well as 2 uni students aged 22 and 20 back from Uni. I really, really feel for them. 2 have had GCSEs and A levels cancelled just like that, 18 Yr old has no idea what will happen with uni place for next year, 16 Yr old doesn't have a confirmed 6th form place as everything is up in the air. 12 and 14 year old completing work set in show my homework but really struggling now, their moods are really deteriorating. 22 Yr old struggling to finish his masters dissertation from home (no Uni since March) and was due to start a wonderful job in the Netherlands in July which is now up in the air. It is really, really hard for them and it makes me so angry when people seem to dismiss them or shout you down when you express concern for the welfare of the nation's teens and young people. The effects of this will be felt by our young people for many, many years.

Should add none of mine have ever moaned and have stuck by all the rules and understand why it is important to do so. That doesn't mean it isn't hard for them or that it isn't having a negative impact on their mental health.

Weepinggreenwillow that is exactly what I mean. It must be awful to just get some independence and freedom, then have it all taken away.