Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Dp going to a friend overnight

62 replies

ncqtime · 31/05/2020 19:43

Small baby at home, against my wishes, will not consider alternatives eg seeing this friend without staying over. No it's not another woman. No he didn't give any reason why it was necessary to sleep over rather than hang out in the garden or whatever. I find this incredibly disrespectful not sure there's any going back. I threatened to report him in desperation. I won't though. Please talk to me. He won't.

OP posts:
Redolent · 31/05/2020 21:18

Good luck OP. Probably best to stop reading the comments if they’re frustrating you. I would still absolutely self isolate from him upon his return.

Foobydoo · 31/05/2020 21:18

@ineedaholidaynow I reckon Google might help you with that
Actually @ncqtime
If it is weed he would fail a roadside drug test the next morning, the next week and possibly any day the following month. It stays in your system for ages unfortunately.

AnyFucker · 31/05/2020 21:23

...and the bad guys are the people pointing out his unacceptable behaviour

Not the perpetrator of it. Cool.

Ipadipod · 31/05/2020 21:26

What a weird thread .

Teacher12345 · 31/05/2020 21:33

I personally don't see what the difference is between two women having a sleepover and two men.
I personally have sleepovers with my 2 friends ( one male, one female) every 6 weeks or so and wouldn't find it strange.
If you aren't happy with it during lockdown though, I think he should respect it. My friends invited me to a social distancing picnic next weekend and I am going to turn it down because A) I would never forgive myself if the kids then caught it and B) it would cause DH alot of anxiety and I think that is selfish. Same goes for your DH here. He is being selfish.

AnotherElle · 31/05/2020 21:36

My dh would ask if I'd mind and if I said I did he wouldn't go, you have a small child too.
Did he not even ask how you feel?

Choctimeout · 31/05/2020 21:52

Hang on...this is a reverse, isn’t it?

A grown man with a child who thinks it is in any way acceptable to get stoned and sleepover at his mates weekly is an immature and poor father/partner.

Though quite frankly any mother who thinks that her partner doing this is acceptable doesn’t exactly have her head screwed on either.

recycledbottle · 31/05/2020 21:54

I think OP just wanted to seek advise on the covid aspect but instead almost everyone (including me) is focusing on her partners general behaviour.

You should request that he isolates and changes clothes/showers etc. You didnt mention if your partner is wfh or not. If he is not then he will be mixing with people anyway. He should sleep in a separate room when hets back. Shouldnt hug the baby etc.. Seems a lot to sacrifice for a sleepover.
The taxi comment was in the context of is it close enough for you to collect him or if he lives a great distance away thus the sleepover.

MahMahMahMahCorona · 31/05/2020 22:22

I'd probably suggest a decontamination zone for his return too: my own MH is shot to shit, and if a mate suggested they could come over for the evening and help me to chill and process what's been going on for several weeks in my head, i would bite their arm off. What a good friend, I would say.

It's not ideal but equally they're not going to be licking eachother or cuddled up on the sofa together from what you've said in your posts. Perhaps ask that they smoke their own spliffs is all. Good luck.

LastNameChanger · 31/05/2020 22:34

Is his friend a relative? Maybe a cousin?

LastNameChanger · 31/05/2020 22:38

I only ask as it sounds like an identical set up a family member of mine has.
The sleepovers are harmless but during Covid I can see the worry.
Would honestly depend on how well the friend is socially distanced whether I would remotely tolerate this.

Graphista · 31/05/2020 23:25

Either it's a cover for another woman or he's shagging the "friend"

He's doing SOMETHING he's doing that he KNOWS you wouldn't approve of

Either way he's being a selfish twat!

I wouldn't be letting him back for at least a fortnight if at all

does that make it any better? nope!

Still a selfish twat! Still not completely convinced there isn't something else going on

AF has it spot on as usual!

He's totally taking the piss!

And quite honestly he had NO BUSINESS driving that early the next morning after a night like that! Drug driving is just as dangerous as drunk driving! He's a dick!

https://keepmydrivinglicence.co.uk/2019/03/can-i-drive-after-smoking-cannabis/

reckon Google might help you with that - reckon YOU'RE the one needs to google that - or actually more importantly your man!

Frankly I'm disgusted by you both on that score

Hang on...this is a reverse, isn’t it? good call

New posts on this thread. Refresh page