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Original poster

Dp going to a friend overnight

62 replies

ncqtime · 31/05/2020 19:43

Small baby at home, against my wishes, will not consider alternatives eg seeing this friend without staying over. No it's not another woman. No he didn't give any reason why it was necessary to sleep over rather than hang out in the garden or whatever. I find this incredibly disrespectful not sure there's any going back. I threatened to report him in desperation. I won't though. Please talk to me. He won't.

OP posts:
winterchills · 31/05/2020 20:32

Selfish prick he is.

Pebblexox · 31/05/2020 20:34

If that's the reason then he's just selfish. You have a small child at home and that should be his priority. Not getting high with his bestie weekly. Especially considering the pandemic we're currently in. I'd honestly reconsider my relationship if I was in your shoes. I don't have a problem with the getting high, but the fact that he's not considering your feelings on this just shows he has no respect for you or your child.

GabsAlot · 31/05/2020 20:34

i used to stay over my friends-when i was 21 and single dont know if i missed his age but hes got a partner and child theres no need to stay over once a week

JingsMahBucket · 31/05/2020 20:35

@ncqtime is this the first time he’s seeing his friend since lockdown started? If so, I’d probably give a little.

ineedaholidaynow · 31/05/2020 20:35

So he has a small baby at home and thinks it ok to go and stay with a friend and get stoned. Even without lockdown that is pretty rubbish, but lockdown takes it to an even worse level.

recycledbottle · 31/05/2020 20:36

Is the friend so far away that a taxi home is not an option?

Original poster
ncqtime · 31/05/2020 20:37

I'm usually fine with it he would come home, do some housework and dadding before going then even be back the next morning at seven. So he hasn't stayed in ages and his mate is having a tough time does that make it any better?

OP posts:
Pebblexox · 31/05/2020 20:39

It sounds to me like you want us to say that you're being unreasonable and that what he's doing is okay. It isn't, he's selfish. He needs to put his family first now. Everybody is going through a shit time right now. If you aren't comfortable with him going, make it very clear to him. He's putting you and your child at risk right now, and is that really a risk you're willing to take? Not trying to make you feel bad, just stating facts.

JingsMahBucket · 31/05/2020 20:41

@ncqtime, yeah, if his friend is having a bad time, I’d leave it alone. He’s going to see his friend and possibly help cheer him up if he’s struggling.

If I were you, I’d talk to your partner about doing a decontamination station when he comes back. Strip off his clothes, have a hot shower and probably sleep in the spare room for a night or two. Letting him realize you’re upset but presenting a solution to the contamination fears is probably the way forward.

ineedaholidaynow · 31/05/2020 20:41

Does he usually drive there? Would he be fit to drive in the morning?

GabsAlot · 31/05/2020 20:44

sorry for his friende but u cant stay overnight anywhere yet

i dont know why but youre defending it now

WhereYouLeftIt · 31/05/2020 20:45

"Do grown men really have weekly sleep overs?"
My exact sentiment.

" Is really not as weird as it might first sound."
It really is.

Personally I'd be telling him to not come back. He can risk his own health if he wants to but he doesn't get to risk mine.

Fiona1987 · 31/05/2020 20:47

A grown man with a partner and a baby shouldn't do weekly sleepovers with his mate. It's not appropriate. It's not fair to leave you and the baby alone in the house while he gets stoned.

AnyFucker · 31/05/2020 20:54

You are making excuses for a grown man taking drugs at a sleepover

You have more problems that him breaking lockdown rules, I am afraid

Spillinteas · 31/05/2020 20:54

So he would be totally happy with you staying out once a week?

Original poster
ncqtime · 31/05/2020 20:56
  • taxi? The thought of one gives me the shivers what with all the germs that's ten times more risky than sleeping over at his mate's surely
  • yes of course he can drive in the morning
  • thank you @JingsMahBucket for the one person here who thinks it's not all that bad i'm glad to see even you think there ought to be some kind of measures taken
  • @GabsAlot really not defending it just putting the facts out there I'm still totally gutted and feel disrespected and let down
OP posts:
ineedaholidaynow · 31/05/2020 20:58

When do drugs leave the bloodstream?

Flittingabout · 31/05/2020 21:01

Weekly sleepovers for drugs?

What a catch.

Original poster
ncqtime · 31/05/2020 21:06

@ineedaholidaynow I reckon Google might help you with that

@Spillinteas that's a tangent I can't be bothered to go off on but yes probably we'd work something out if I wanted to do that, and if there wasn't a pandemic happening. But what I tend to do is see my best mate and have a few too many wines then sleep in the comfort of my own bed

OP posts:
ky07 · 31/05/2020 21:07

I can understand it once in a while, but getti g sto ed at his mate's every week? Sounds like he's still a selfish teenager mentally.

Original poster
ncqtime · 31/05/2020 21:08

Think I'm going to step away from this now. Thank you everyone for your replies

OP posts:
Rhianna1980 · 31/05/2020 21:11

I would totally not tolerate for my partner to go for a sleepover.
Sounds like a spoilt brat.

Since when do Grown up men do sleepoversHmm ???

He might as well pack all his bags and stay there.
Sorry op.

FlyAwayLikeABird · 31/05/2020 21:12

My partner asked to stay at mine tonight it was a definate no from me. Very strange how he would risk you and your baby OP.

QueSera · 31/05/2020 21:13

Honestly OP, this is one of the strangest things I've ever heard of. And I've read all your updates. I really feel for you. He's an adult with a partner and baby at home. My mind is just boggled.

FlyAwayLikeABird · 31/05/2020 21:15

And my partners brother recently died so I feel VERY cruel. I am seeing him for walks and inthe garden but I'm not risking my sons health by letting him stay over.