WWYD..seeing parents

[2007Millie]

Now you can meet each other in gardens etc, I would really like to see my mum.

I haven't see her since around a month prior to when lockdown started

However

She lives 6 hours away and I have a toddler, so doing a journey there and back in one day without staying simply isn't feasible

What would you do?

This is my situation too.

The best idea I am playing with at present is to make some investigations into hiring a camper van or possibly driving up with a friend who has one, to stay over (on the drive or one of Mum's friend's drives), then come back. But I still think it is too early to try this.

How old is your mum? IS she vulnerable? Has she room for you to stay? Etc etc.

I would either meet her halfway and spend time socially-distanced outdoors or not meet her at all.

"The best idea I am playing with at present is to make some investigations into hiring a camper van or possibly driving up with a friend who has one, to stay over (on the drive or one of Mum's friend's drives), then come back."
It is against the rules to stay overnight. The PM was asked by a member of the media if he could go to his mum's and camp out in a tent overnight in her garden. He was told staying overnight is not allowed.

Mid 50's, incredibly fit and healthy, not vulnerable.
I am mid 20's, also incredibly fit and healthy
5 bed house/en suites etc so could stay and have no contact inside if that makes sense?

Like @Ormally I am toying with the idea of possibly camping outside. But like others have said, I know this is against the rules.

Ahhhhh I really don't know

I’d do it. But don’t tell anyone.

I would do it too.

No, it's properly and specifically against the rules. It's not even one of those grey area/use your common sense ones.

Could you meet halfway, so only 3 hour journey?

No I wouldn't go. How would you enforce social distancing with a wee one anyways?

Unfortunately cannot meet half way due to her not be able to drive that distance.

I absolutely appreciate it is against the rules, however, I am of the mindset that A) I've followed all the rules so far and I'm bloody fed up of seeing others live a totally normal happy life etc by breaking them and B) this cannot go on forever for so so many reasons

So I'm stuck. Really stuck.

This is the thing that bothers me about the rules. The rules are meant to reduce transmission. If someone goes to their DM or DF's house, socially distances in the garden and sleeps in a capervan how is that increasing transmission.

@Bramblebear92

Exactly. That is my difficulty. No one will come into contact etc, so what exactly is wrong?

I understand your frustration BUT this will get better quicker if we do stick to the guidelines .

Re how is it increasing transmission - I imagine the argument is that a 6 hour car journey has the potential to go wrong - eg breakdown or whatever. Also you could arrive there, develop Covid and then have brought it to a new part of the country especially if you end up in hospital.

It stops cross country travel without having to put a strict limit on how far you can go.

My mum's a similar distance, though a bit older than yours. I think I'll wait for now, but if still not change to the rules by July (and no big upsurge in infections either) I may go then, possibly camp in the garden. I can dig a bloody toilet in the garden if I have to! I don't want to put my mum at any risk. I'm less bothered about whether it's "allowed" to stay overnight when I'm obviously no risk to her in a tent in the garden. I think I'd go on my own though (kids are older and can be left with DH) to reduce risks further.

'So I'm stuck. Really stuck.'

Like all of us who live more than a few hours away from our parents or who don't drive.

The logic behind 'I've followed the rules up until now, so now I'm entitled to break them' is ridiculous.

It can't go on forever and it won't.

The right thing to do is wait.

The wrong to do is go.

But you know that.

Ahhh what a lot of mixed responses! Lots more thinking to do

Oh just do it OP, stay there.

I've given up, DS hugged and played with his 76 year old grandmother today, because she said to me down the phone "I don't want to die, never hugging him again" it broke me, I went round, they've had a lovely day.

I'm not doing this anymore, I'm not living in a anxiety ridden, lonely bubble of torment for 1% risk of dying, and neither is my nan.

I'm over it all, I'm not doing it. Me, my mother, my nan and DS are going to see eachother.

6 hours is the other end of the country. My parents are 2.5 hours away and we're holding out for a bit more relaxation. I'm the 50 year old and they're in their 70s, though.

If nothing ekse, I can't manage the journey to theirs without a loo stop, unless we travel in the evening.

Just don’t post on Mumsnet if you stay over.

I live an hour and a half away from my parents and I’m not even considering it. They’re young and healthy enough too but it’s not the right thing to do at the moment.

OP... are you my DD? We are the same... 5 bed house, en-suite etc.

I'm desperate to see her now

@CoachBombay

Your post has really made me smile. I know it's against the rules, I know you shouldn't, but I'm so happy your family have had that moment of joy. So happy

I did clarify and say I think it's currently too early - am wondering if the news for early July will be better (but obviously won't travel far if there is no further easing or R goes up). I looked at a hotel near them for any news of its probable reopening - rooms are bookable after 4 July now - though again, all provisional as this is over a month away, so not going to bite.

Parents 1) have no spare room, 2) don't drive, 3) are 77 and 80, and 4) have no other children or nearby relatives, so I would rather I take the risks in travelling 350 miles to see them, and not the other way round, if it becomes a possibility.

@BirdieFriendReturns

Haha I debated for a while whether I had thick enough skin to ask this question, so I definitely won't say if I visit