I know this is ridiculous- jealously of people who have got it 'easier'

[Chalkee]

I'm expecting some harsh responses and perhaps that's what I need so please be honest with me.
As this lockdown goes on I'm becoming more and more jealous of people who I consider to have it easier than me with this situation, so that might be people without kids, people who haven't got to work from home and have their time to themselves etc etc.
I've got 2 DC, youngest DS is 1 and he is a handful at the best of times, lockdown has made him clingy and such hard work. I'm also working from home which involves me sitting at the computer for a good portion of the day, DS does not like this and whinges and sits on my lap messing around most of the day. Eldest DS refuses to do any schoolwork and I don't have the time to argue this with him so he is playing games all day. I feel like such a failure and then I see people on fb who are single/no kids or grown up kids etc moaning they can't cope and are bored watching Netflix all day and it makes me so jealous!
What I would give to have had a few months to myself in a lockdown to read/ watch boxsets! I know everybodys situation is different and for people living alone it might be just as tough for them but this jealousy is driving me insane.
I speak to family daily and tell them I'm fine but inside I want to cry and run away.
I know how this sounds, people are dying daily from this virus and I'm moaning that I have to sit at home all day, just tell me to man up.

I am jealous that you are working. My business has dried up and I have no income currently. I do have time for homeschool though.

It's swings and roundabouts for everyone.

"We all have our difficulties, they are just different and what seems easier to you might not be easier for me."

This, you're allowed to feel like your situation is crap, but everyone's is. Just because you perceive theirs to be easier doesn't mean it is. We all have it crap.

"What I would give to have had a few months to myself in a lockdown to read/ watch boxsets!"

This isn't the life of everyone child free in lockdown. I'm child free but working 12 hour days to pick up the slack of parents working from home with kids who inevitably can't be as productive. I love kids and would much rather be doing 4 hours work a day and spend the rest looking after young kids (in normal time I babysit a lot for nieces and nephews). Where I'm sitting parents have it much nicer because they're with people they love, whether I'm spending 12 hours a day sat alone on my bed in my shitty house share doing work. I hate every person with children who goes “no one without children could POSSIBLY have it as hard as I do, you can't even comprehend how hard my life is right now."

Because I am childless I live for my friends and social life, now this has been taken away I am literally just existing, I don't really have anything to live for. Whether from where I'm sitting you have your kids to live for. And I can't even have zoom parties with them because I'm working 12 hour days.

But I can still recognise that you're having a hard time and I sympathise with that. We're all having a hard time, lockdown is crap for almost everyone.

I'm not gonna tell you to be thankful for what you do have because people who say that to me infuriate me, I and you are both allowed to be angry about our crap situations. But do recognise that everyone has crap situations, not just you, very few people have it easier right now, we just have different kinds of hard.

It's a really healthy thing to acknowledge.
No harsh response from me. Take care of yourself and try not to add guilt about feeling like this into the mix.

I bet even those who seem to be living the high life arnt in reality. My parents probably bored for example, although I'd love to be in their shoes.

Am sure most of us are envious of others' situations.
I, for example am quite envious that you have a job that you can do from home. (I appreciate it's difficult and that's your issue).
I have left my job to look after my 2 DC 9&10. Keyworker role and due to issues with public transport I was unable to actually get to work. I am now stressed about our finances.
You may be envious that both my DC are older but I'm seriously worrying about the lack of schoolwork both children are doing and am fed up of the meltdowns.

Swings and roundabouts.

The grass is always greener I suppose. I think everyone is a bit jealous of others who seem to have it "easier" atm.

Me and DH have both been furloughed at 80%, we used to spend very little on travel to work and had free staff meals while there, so we are skint and don't know whether we will have jobs to go back to. I'm jealous of those who are still working (out of or from home), earning a full wage and have job security. I keep hearing of new things opening up like mcdonalds etc or seeing things I could buy to entertain the kids or cheer me up but then I think "oh yeah we can't afford that duh".

On the plus side we get to be fun mummy and daddy who are able to give our kids loads of time and attention, always got look on the bright side.

YANBU. I'm having a very easy lockdown. I'm not working and we have dc but they are 12 and 14, so don't need constant wrangling like little ones do. You have every right to have a moan and wish you were having an easier lockdown. It's a very unequal situation.

I am sorry you are finding it tough. You would still find your situation tough even if everyone was in the exact same situation as you and if you were in other people's situations you might find other things tough instead. I think the envy is just a way of your mind showing you what you crave most at the moment, which is natural. The thing is not to turn it into resentment against those people as its a bit pointless.

It's impossible to work from home with small children! I have no idea how you do it. I've more or less given up, myself.
This kickdown is a nightmare for mothers who have any ambitions of achieving anything at all. You are jealous. Personally, I'm furious. I know people are dying and have it worse, so I'm not furious AT anyone. I do angry crying.

But people who achieve this and that and find lockdown the perfect opportunity to blah blah blah can fuck right off.

Mind you I could probably achieve more if I was better organised and sulked less.

As others have said, you can never know what struggles other people are going through. I'm combining homeschooling and part-time work which is easier than people working full-time or those without work. But I'd love to have some more time to spend on my hobby...Meanwhile an older relative has plenty of time but she's on her own and so desperately lonely that she can't see much point in doing much at all. She's envious of my parents as they have each other, but they're shielding and finding it very hard being stuck with each other 24/7 and are arguing a fair bit. My brother is fed up with his two children fighting while he and SIL are trying to work, so thinks I have it much easier with just one child. Except I'm desperately worried about the fact DS hasn't played with another child for two months and often cries about missing his friends and how Facetime chats aren't the same.

Everyone has their struggles, we all suspect the grass is greener for others and it's OK whatever you're feeling.

Op, I'll take your life and you can have mine. Single parent to a teen. I've had CV for 12 weeks now, still can't breathe properly, chest pain, heart problems. I've lost my business and I've no income. Yes you're allowed to be jealous, but you've got your health. Something I'd give my right arm for.

You can’t compare can you as it’s difficult for everyone in different ways. I am a single parent with children with complex needs but I do think the worst scenario for me would be to be completely alone during lockdown so I feel most for people with no partner/no kids/no family. That would be very hard.

I've worked a bit during lockdown but both incomes at risk and I was hoping to split with DP. Two DDs who are getting increasingly anxious.

From the outside it looks great, (walks, bike rides etc) but it's been hell.

I'm disabled so not much has changed in my household except the 7 year old being at home BUT I am hugely jealous of people with cars. I rely on public transport so doing anything even shopping is a pain in the butt right now but I'm also desperate to go the range and get some more crafting things but obviously I can't because I don't drive. I can access my tiny town center and even when shops open it will only make a difference of the local cex store opening.

@KilljoysDutch : Can't you do on line craft shopping at The Range?
Not the same, I know, but maybe better than nothing.

I think the combination of pre school children and a busy wfh job is really really fucking hard. Anyone doing that deserves a medal so well done OP for getting this far. You are a bloody trooper!

I think your situation sounds a total nightmare, you must be run ragged. I’m so glad my kids are older and don’t need constant looking after. On the other hand I was wfh but now lost my job and my H is furloughed so we are very worried about the future, this whole mess is total shit but I can certainly see how in the short term parents juggling wfh and toddlers have it worse than me x

It's different and hard for everyone in different ways.

I live by myself in a small flat with no garden and I've not had anyone to speak to for 10 weeks.

I might not have children demanding attention (I'd love some interaction) but I'm going insane at the moment.

I think YABU. Everyone's circumstances are different and you have no idea what people are struggling with.

I might be someone you would look at and be envious of in this situation. But, I would give anything to have two children. DH and I have been unable to conceive. So I bake my bread and do some sewing and go for walks instead. I'm just trying to make the best of my situation, it's not ideal but I try and be grateful for what I have rather than envious of other people.

I've got 2 DC

That is where I am jealous of you.

Excellent post @changeitupagain

Everyone is entitled to find this hard, because it is hard. On the face of it I've got things pretty easy. Older DC who (generally) get on with their schoolwork, DH who pulls his weight, house with a garden and no immediate financial worries. I feel guilty at how difficult I'm finding it mentally. The seismic changes in our daily lives overnight and with no end in sight. I find the whole thing utterly terrifying, and yet really I've nothing much to complain about.

You are allowed to feel whatever you are feeling

@Wingedharpy I'd love to but their website is the worst I've ever seen for never having anything in stock. I just feel a bit stuck.

I Think though that everyone is envious of something other people have at this time and it's trying for everyone but we all just have to make do with our lot and try our best. The people posting about working in the garden with new furniture might be having marriage problems or worried about not having a job to return to. We need to count our own blessings but it's really hard to do.

I think you are doing great, OP. It was really hard when my dc was small, doing it during lockdown must be even harder. Moan and rant and do whatever you feel like. I am rooting for you.

I feel like running away too. I know others have it worse but I'm at the end of my tether being at home with preschooler DS. I miss interaction at toddler groups, having classes to do together and his nursery hours. We go to the park each day but it's not the same.

I get very envious of my friends who don't have children who get to sort out their gardens, do quiz nights etc. Oh and they do loads of exercise classes online.

I think I am very very lucky and count my blessings..but

I am in a flat with no gardens/park nearby
I can WFH on full pay but I’m working 12 hour days most days
I don’t have dependent family..but that makes me feel lonely and jealous of DH
My SD is safe and well but has had a huge blow to her life plans
I am fit and healthy though

...so as someone else said , pluses and minuses for everyone