Is anyone getting childcare help from non vulnerable family members?

[SunshineOutdoors]

I don’t know how long we can go on like this - both of us working from home with dc (8 and 6) not getting the attention they need and deserve. This is now clearly showing in their behaviour. We have fantastic in-laws about 1.5 miles away. Both under 70, no underlying health problems, a big garden with trampoline, swings and slide/climbing frame and mil is a retired deputy head of a primary school and yr2 teacher, with lots of resources and a real appetite for helping our dc learn.

I’m so tempted to just see if they would have the kids in their garden for a few hours this week. And then I saw this on the government website which doesn’t make it clear whether we are actually allowed to rely on them for childcare or not.

We have been managing (barely) ourselves up to now, but if they were slightly different ages they’d be back at school potentially next Monday.

Has anyone considered/done this or knows if there’s been any further clarification re the statement in the image I’ve posted?

Thanks in advance, and please don’t flame me if you think what I’m talking about is outrageous. We haven’t done anything yet and probably won’t until guidance is clearer, I’m just at the end of my tether (and know I’m not the only one).

I'm in a very similar position to you, trying to work from home with children 5 & 10 openly telling me they're fed up of me working and me feeling like they're getting no attention at all. I've had a conversation with my own parents about the children going there and staying in the garden. The issues are what if it rains and then they're having to go indoors, 5YO is very clumsy and if they hurt themselves will need to be picked up and consoled which can't be done whilst social distancing, what about if they need the toilet? I'm praying that the announcement on Thursday will be families can see eachother as I'm losing the will to live.

It's a shame your parents aren't 250 miles away, because that would make it just fine O, especially if you actually had coronavirus. Plus you could have a trip to a beauty spot while you were there. But as you are presumably just a mere mortal who cares for the best interests of your child you have to make sacrifices.

Sorry op, I jest. I am in a similar situation as you. Local grandparents willing and able to look after the kids, with a lovely big garden, yet we are couped up down the road driving eachother insane. Kids would love to visit, GPs would love to have them, we would love the break. But we haven't, yet, succumbed.

What do you make of point 2 in the screenshot I posted. It doesn't say you can rely on people for childcare if they're not stringently socially distancing but the way the sentence is worded suggests that you can. I'm so confused!

Maybe I should just go with my instinct as a parent and do what any loving parent would do instead of trying to follow the rules!

I have worked all through lockdown and my child has gone to a grandparent to be cared for. There was no other choice. We were happy with arrangements and it’s gone perfectly. Everyone needs to assess their own situation and do what works for them

It's no longer about what is best for the country but what is best for the individual family. It is right for your family for your children to be cared for by your parents, it's what any loving parent would do, put your needs first.

After DC there is no way it can be argued that your children can not visit parents who are under 70 providing they are not shielding.

I think I agree with your choice, Flowers. I work in finance for a charity that is delivering essential Covid-19 response grants so can't furlough or take unpaid leave because my job needs doing. On looking at the critical workers list I think my role falls under several of the categories (dcs school will take critical workers children even if only one parent qualifies). I have emailed dcs school to see if they could have a place there, otherwise I'm going to rethink the gps situation. I really hope someone addresses this officially on Thursday.

I will be from the 1st June. In Wales there's something vague said about providing or receiving support from one family member in the next phase. It's hard to imagine it won't be announced that we are moving into that phase on Monday.

It's possible that's not what it means or that we won't be moving into phase 2.

However enough is enough. I need childcare to be able to do my job. The risk is practically non existent, given we have all been isolating as per the rules and haven't seen anyone else. My parents are not 70, in good health and normally provide several days a week of childcare.

It's not against the law. It may be against the guidelines but they are just that. England will be opening nurseries on the 1st June and our situation here is better.

Not yet but I will be I get called back to work before school reopens as my job isn't possible to do from home.

We are having our 2 grandchildren from this Friday (2 & 4). My daughter is a primary school teacher and has been put on the rota to go into school this week (half term!) to look after keyworker children, then from next week she's back as normal (although part-time fortunately).

Her husband has been back at work for 2 weeks now so no other option really. I would rather they came to our house than have to go to a stranger or to a place where there were children from other households

We are both (well) under 70

I have my DM takes my youngest (5) for a few hours about twice a week. I'm wfh full time and feeling some pressure from my employer to up my work load. It was my DM suggestion before anyone starts with the I'm being selfish putting that on my parents. They are mid 60s not vulnerable or shielding and have only been out for shopping or walking the dog.

We managed 9 weeks with no help but last week we cracked after my 8 year old sliced his toe open and we didn't realise he was outside crying for 10 minutes becuase we were both on very involved work calls.

The children haven't been anywhere and neither has my 54 year old Mum. They went the next day, and will be going a few times a week from now on. We won't be 'expanding our bubble' further for a while though.

We have all had/recovered from suspect Covid. Since they changed the rules to meeting outside, my mum has watched my children in our back garden for me when I’ve had to work (or go and queue for hours to do the food shop)
She’s well under 70, no health issues, and we are confident it’s low risk.
The risk would be higher to them if I lost my job or tried to take them shopping.

If both our parents weren't over 70 I'd probably have done so myself by now. It's a nightmare.

We've been stringently following the lockdown guidance since day 1 (neither of us have even been to a supermarket as I'm about to give birth) but at this point, especially after the weekends revaluations, I would have no concerns about doing what you suggest.

My sil has been helping us for the last couple of weeks. I've got a 3 year old, 2 year old and just 1 year old and I'm 6 months pregnant. My sil lives alone and has been furloughed. She's been taking the 2 older ones for walks along the toe paths near the river, places I just can't get to with a buggy.
Mentally, it's helped us all, including her.

Judging by those guidelines (which have def been updated) I'd say go for it! We are doing the same!

Can I just say, this is probably the first thread on Mumsnet since isolation kicked in that hasn't filled me with dread. It's so nice that everyone has given their account and noone has picked it to pieces or tried to 'parent shame'

In addition to my above post, I'm not saying every thread is bad but the ones I've seen there's always at least one comment putting someone down for their choices.

I've done it for my sister. I've had my niece a few times a week from the beginning. My niece would be with me a lot anyway so I just continued it. My sister is working from home - busy and her feckless ex husband is well feckless.
A few of my mums friends (late 60s) have over the past few weeks started taking their grandchildren for a few afternoons.

Are those new guidelines? You would definitely not be breaking those guidelines because your in-laws don't appear to be in the stringent social distancing category so I would say go for it. I hope they have a lovely time with their grandparents.

I look after my grandson when needed and have done right through lockdown. When my pregnant daughter has been really ill or in hospital there has been no other sensible option

My 18 month old has been going to my mum's 3 days a week for most of lockdown.

Both my husband and I are keyworkers ( I work in a&e) I have been waiting for the LA to get back to me about keyworker childcare. My mum is under 70 and not is a risk group.

My dsis will be helping me from mid June. I'm not happy about it because she will have to use public transport to get to us. But nursery is closed, childminders are full and I'll lose my job if I don't work.

I have had 10 weeks at home with toddler DD (she had a fever just before lockdown so we self isolated) and this week have started seeing GPs in the garden. I have asked my parents to try having DD for a little while this weekend without me. I work PT, DH FT currently from home and its just not working with a toddler. It makes me a shit employee and virtually negligent parent when she could be having a great time with GPs. If it goes well I'm hoping they can start having her a day a week again. If I could send her back to nursery with no social distancing and unknown staff and children, I just dont see the logic in not using my DPs who have voluntarily been socially distancing (not vulnerable, just want to be sensible) and meticulously clean everything. I'm vulnerable so they are super careful.

I’ve been looking after dgc and they live with me half the week and live at home half the week.
I’m happy to homeschool.
DD is frontline worker and works longer hours than school can offer care.
DD lives 2 minutes walk away.
It’s not ideal but we think it’s a reasonable compromise.