Is anyone getting childcare help from non vulnerable family members?

[SunshineOutdoors]

I don’t know how long we can go on like this - both of us working from home with dc (8 and 6) not getting the attention they need and deserve. This is now clearly showing in their behaviour. We have fantastic in-laws about 1.5 miles away. Both under 70, no underlying health problems, a big garden with trampoline, swings and slide/climbing frame and mil is a retired deputy head of a primary school and yr2 teacher, with lots of resources and a real appetite for helping our dc learn.

I’m so tempted to just see if they would have the kids in their garden for a few hours this week. And then I saw this on the government website which doesn’t make it clear whether we are actually allowed to rely on them for childcare or not.

We have been managing (barely) ourselves up to now, but if they were slightly different ages they’d be back at school potentially next Monday.

Has anyone considered/done this or knows if there’s been any further clarification re the statement in the image I’ve posted?

Thanks in advance, and please don’t flame me if you think what I’m talking about is outrageous. We haven’t done anything yet and probably won’t until guidance is clearer, I’m just at the end of my tether (and know I’m not the only one).

And what do the rest of us do who haven't got any family around? How do we go back to work if schools don't reopen?

We took DS to visit my parents today. We sat in their garden and socially distanced but obviously a toddler isn’t great at that. My husband’s mental health has been suffering in the last couple of weeks and he really needed a change of scenery and a bit of social interaction. They’re not vulnerable and have been following the rules thus far. We are more of a risk to them (I’m working out of the house) and they are happy to take that risk. We will probably continue to see them once per week or so now.

Hope all these people saying it’s fine and they’ve done it as well, weren’t on the Cummings thread slating him

@Irnbroothenoo absolutely not couldn't give a toss either way what hes doing, his actions do not impact my life in the slightest. I actually think the attention hes getting is unnecessary and the way the media are slating him and hounding him is awful hes a human at the end of the day with a young family who must be petrified looking out the window at the moment. All the media outside his house are hardly sticking to social distance rules so it's just hypocrisy at all angles.

I've got a 4yo in reception.

I said to dh that if this situation looked set to continue until September wfh and schooling then something would have to give. I.e getting some childcare.

As it stands it looks like he will probably be going back to school, albeit part time, next week.

Now we've found out what DC has been up to, I feel like a right mug for struggling on all these weeks. I'm clearly not enough of a loving parent.

My local councils website actually says to ask non vulnerable friends or family for childcare if you need it.

And what do the rest of us do who haven't got any family around? How do we go back to work if schools don't reopen?

Is that aimed at the op? Why would the fact that you have no family around change her childcare situation? I sympathise but you think people shouldn't use family if allowed, because you don't have family??

OP I just would! You are putting no-one in danger, least of all the 'NHS' which is what lockdown was all about. If it were my DC I would, no question.

If all adults are consenting, just do it. My son will be w my brother for one day this week, this is first time we've done this since lockdown. However as things ease I think what happens behind closed doors is down to sensible discretion. The Cummings debacle only emphasises that for me.

I'm WFH. Have been since the start and my mum has started to come round to take the pressure off me. They are mostly outside whilst I work. I'm using my instincts

I think childminders have been able to look after kids from one other household since last week, I don't see any difference between that and having relatives provide childcare provided they are not vulnerable?

@irnbrootheno hardly the same is it. My mum started coming round last week when people had started to go back to work and none essential shops had started reopening. Not right at the beginning, after being the one to tell the country to stay at home and quarantine if they had symptoms. Literally none comparable.

Wow, I didn't expect such a supportive response, thought I might my arse handed to me! (maybe I should repost in AIBU for that). It does seem like a sensible, low risk option for us. I think I'm going to hold on and see if any thursday announcement clarifies/updates the guidance on this but if it doesn't I'm going to seriously consider making our own judgement on this. I'm worried about dc, especially dc6 as I can see behaviour and emotional changes that are beginning to concern me.

Sorry I meant ds (6) (years old) not my 6th child! Would have definitely cracked before now if that was the case.

I managed 8 weeks before sending DS to his paternal grandma’s house (aged 57, no health conditions, still working full time). He goes Tuesday pm to Wednesday pm. His dad has point blank refused to cover any of the weekday childcare, my partner had a stroke and my job is super stressful. Something had to give and it was nearly my sanity.

One of you might have to consider working outside of Monday-Friday 9-5. There clearly is more than enough waking hours for 2 adults to work full time without any overlap so it is nonsense to say that for people with a partner working full time isn't possible, albeit the exact hours will have to be different to usual.

Yes that does make sense, although I’d argue that’s only sustainable for a shorter amount of time; if no school place is offered until September that’s over 5 months of essentially only working or caring for children with no evenings or real weekends or much altogether as a family time. I know people can manage doing this, but to me it doesn’t seem right to do this for so long when there’s a fairly low risk, high benefit alternative option.