Bubbles of 10 'outside'? Would rather stay with my parents please

[RC000]

Would anyone else rather be able to stay with their parents/another household rather than this supposed outside 'bubble of 10' where I presume you have to still socially distance?

We can't be the only family with elderly parents who live hours away (5 here) who are desperate to see grand children? AIBU?!

I havent seen my parents both late 80's since March. DH is in care home. I know its not fair but honestly I dont get people who say because shops are going to open they are jolly well going to see their own parents to hug and kiss them, to stay overnight etc.

Its obvious why this is one of the last things to do. Its nothing to do with the government being mean or stupid. Its because the viral load and risk for older people is so much higher.

If you want to make a risk assessment and do it then that is your decision but someone said earlier there was a zero risk if they saw their parents that either sides would pass on CV19. What a daft thing to say.

I cant wait for for the bubble of 10 to begin. I'm so excited
I don't think anything has officially been announced about bubbles of any type has it?

Two household bubbles work for the mumsnet elite, who have either successfully managed to get their DH to go NC with his parents or don't have a partner, but are of little use for anyone else.
Implementing such a policy is likely to cause more harm than good as it will cause couples to argue over whose parents to bubble with, parents to have to choose which one of their grown up children they want to see, and those living in shared accommodation simply won't be able to benefit in the slightest.

@sunglasses123 i didn't say because the shops are open i'm going recklessly visit my most vulnerable family nembers. I said as an adult with a brain I'll decide myself who its reasonabe to see as the govt no longer give a toss about clear messaging. They're happy to for us to all go clothes shopping but not even to choose one family member to visit. Its a load of nonsensical bollocks at this point. But follow it to the letter if you like!

They aren't happy for people to return to normal shopping habits and aimlessly wandering around clothing stores, but they do understand the need to get clothing stores reopen to some extent, both to get the economy restarted and also because many people need to obtain new clothes (either because they have changed size or because their current ones are worn out). Michael Gove has quite clearly stated that people cannot return to their usual shopping habits and I would hope that shop staff will be preventing people who clearly have no intentions of purchasing anything from entering (such as groups of teenagers who use window shopping as an excuse to get out).

@StatisticalSense lol ok. I live next to a shopping centre and its always busy now despite most shops still being shut. Just face it, the things we can do now that are 'fine' while still not being able to even visit family in the garden are ridiculous.

@RichardMarxisinnocent Nothing official as yet, but hopefully next month. Fingers crossed!

The virus has not gone away, the lockdown was to protect less than 10% of the population who are vulnerable or elderly and to protect the NHS. If people go shopping, so what. Just don’t go to see your elderly relatives. I wouldn’t be surprised if the govt extended the lockdown for shielded and vulnerable including elderly but let the rest of us out.

@ky07
No. The private cost (risk) of seeing your family is lower than the societal cost (risk), however for shopping it is entirely possible that the private cost (risk and cost of purchases) is either the same or greater than the societal cost (risk and economic benefits) meaning that shopping will only take place to the level that is overall beneficial to society when considering both the risk factor but also the need for employment and a functioning economy, but seeing family will be over consumed if permitted as people only consider the cost (risk) to themselves and not the risk to others that occurs due to such contact.

In Singapore you can go and see your parents and grandparents (but not on the same day as another relative) which sounds good to me. But their infection rate is a lot lower, so it might not be safe here.

Just act on instinct. Isn’t that the advice? I’m not sure I’d want to put my parents at risk though. Sadly mine are not alive so it’s not an issue.

I know people who are shielding as well as their parents and they have met in a garden more than 2m apart. Not strictly allowed but are the police going to come and taser them?

@ky07 what’s that nonsense? I have no intention of visiting any shops. I might see friends though who have not been out. Far less risky.

@coffeeandbeans I read yesterday lockdown was going to be extended for diabetics. No mention of other conditions though?!

RichardMarxisinnocent

I know they did as half my family live on Guernsey. I also know the issues it caused.

Where is this bubble of 10 being reported? I can't see anything recent. Sounds from this thread that its something that has been reported somewhere as a possibility,

I know they did as half my family live on Guernsey. I also know the issues it caused

Even though it was only temporary? I only saw on the news the film of people seeing grandchildren for the first time in ages, and read the release lockdown plan. I would be interested to know more about how people made their arrangements (or if they didn't because it was too hard to choose).

I know I am probably biased in wanting some sort of bubble, whether it be 2 households, 4 household, 10 people or whatever. I live alone and am so lonely, and am getting quite stressed at the thought of not being able to go closer than 2 metres to another human being (including my boyfriend) for months to come. For me, any arrangement would be miles better than the current situation - if two households I would join with my boyfriend's household, if more, or 10 people, I would add my best friend and her family if it worked for them.

Mumratheevergiving my only two relatives outside my household who are relatively local are both very elderly and with underlying conditions. They also both live alone and are starting to struggle mentally with the isolation. They are on their 10th week now. I so wish I was allowed to meet them in a park or sit in their garden while the weather is good, even if it meant walking through their house to get there. At a more than safe distance, and having made sure to go to the loo before I arrive at their place. Both are quite immobile and would struggle getting out to a public meeting place even if that was allowed. I'm in Wales hence the stronger restrictions. And I agree, it will be riskier to see them when my kids are eventually back at school. OH and I are both WFH and only leaving the house for shopping or socially distanced daily exercise. The kids only leave to go on a walk or bike ride. So if we all wore masks too, it is hard to see the big risk in sitting in our relatives' gardens. But we stick by the rules as he was heartbreaking as they are.

Hmm. I’m not bothered about seeing my parents and they haven’t expressed a desperate wish to see the grandchildren. Makes me wonder what’s wrong with my family!

I would like to hug my friends though. And for my kids to be able to play with their friends. They are desperate to!

Yes, the government have got it all wrong. They seem to be catering for those who want to meet people for pleasure, a nice chinwag and a walk in the park.

I’d much rather be able to visit my family members in their homes for support as I’m parenting a mid-functioning autistic son who has become extremely anxious at no contact with close family and a teenage daughter who is suicidal and very much missing her aunt and cousin who she is close to. I want to see family in homes rather than in a park as I’d like some privacy with my loved ones.

Oh no, not bubbles again. Is this official?

I won't get picked for a bubble. I live on my own and my family are all hours away. Nobody's going to pick a single friend to have in their bubble when they could have their family.

I hope this doesn't replace being able to meet up with one other person. I'm doing much better now we can do that but if it all has to stop so people can go inside and bubble with their families I'll be alone again.

It makes no sense to me because surely people on their own are the ones bubbles are designed to help. And, unless their family are local, it probably won't help them. Families in one house don't need to be priority for social contact - they already have each other and have had for weeks.

I gave up on this whole shit show a while ago now. I just created a social bubble.

I have my family who I use for childcare so I can work (I am a key worker) but decided to limit DS's contact with others so we could create the bubble.

I mean when lockdown was announced I was sat having my dinner in this family members house. Till the schools closed my son was at this other house Monday to Friday. We are basically one household but my house is used as a bed and breakfast by me and DS. If the original house was big enough to accommodate me and DS we would move in permenantly!

They can fuck off with the bubbles. People are already meeting up socially distanced is it's multiple people. I think you have to decide yourself the risk and if both parties agree. Simple as that.

@Coffeeandbeans thank you! Why do people seem to forget the risk is still there and it is real. People saying ‘there’s going to be a second peak anyway so what does it matter’ just to make themselves feel better. People have died in huge numbers and are still dying

There is only one other house i need to go to. My elderly parents They are 84 They live with my 25 year old niece who is back to work next Monday as a school bus escort on a vehicle where it is impossible to socially distance. Yet this is OK

"Yes, the government have got it all wrong. They seem to be catering for those who want to meet people for pleasure, a nice chinwag and a walk in the park.

I’d much rather be able to visit my family members in their homes for support as I’m parenting a mid-functioning autistic son who has become extremely anxious at no contact with close family and a teenage daughter who is suicidal and very much missing her aunt and cousin who she is close to. I want to see family in homes rather than in a park as I’d like some privacy with my loved ones."

How incredibly narrow minded @reeceormeese

No I don't want to meet up for pleasure and a chin wag. I live alone in a house share with people who I don't clash with but don't get along with either, we very much live separate lives and just share a kitchen. I don't live anywhere near my family and although I love them we don't get along for anything more than short burst of time together. I've been working 12 hour days in a quite stressful job, alone in my bedroom all day, on my best because I don't even have a desk in my shitty little room. I zoom call my friends and occasionally say hi to someone I've passed in the kitchen but that was the extent of my human interaction for the weeks of lockdown where we weren't allowed to mix with anyone outside our own household.

I don't want to meet my friends for pleasure, I need to meet them to keep me sane. They are my family, my support system, the people I keep around me to make me happy and lean on and be leant on when they need support to. We're all in similar situations regarding our families so all feel the same about each other despite not living together or being blood related.

I would much rather meet them inside in 'privacy' with my loved ones but recognise that this poses a much bigger risk of transmission if any party is infected so we make do with meeting outside.

Right now you can still meet your family members outside for support as I can do the same with meeting my friends. Do you really think it would be fair to say families can meet inside but groups of friends can't even meet outside. Thus taking away mine and others like me's support system. It would just isolate so many people so much more.

I'm sorry about your situation is truly does sound horrific and you have my sympathy. However to suggest families are more worthy of meeting than friends marginalises a massive group of people. Family should never come into it. When the time is right the government should advise on mixing households, as this is where infection spreads, then people can choose to mix with a household or households of their choice, blood relation or not. But blood relation to people doesn't give you more right to see them as your support system than me seeing my friends who are mine.