Bubbles of 10 'outside'? Would rather stay with my parents please

[RC000]

Would anyone else rather be able to stay with their parents/another household rather than this supposed outside 'bubble of 10' where I presume you have to still socially distance?

We can't be the only family with elderly parents who live hours away (5 here) who are desperate to see grand children? AIBU?!

Do what you like. Own risk assessment.

My wish is one strict household bubble (your household with one other), but you can go inside, and have physical contact

How would this work if you have adult children and grandchildren in more than one household? Would my Mum and step dad have to choose 1 of the 4 households their DC are spread over to see? My Dad and step mum would have to make the same decision. My DC would be heartbroken if their grandma chose to see their cousins over them and vice versa.
And presumably my brother and SIL would have to choose which set of parents they bubble with?

The thing is, I’m more risk to my parents than my friends. So we have started seeing one other family outside - we’re all young, low risk, similar exposure outside of seeing each other. That feels ok to us. The chances of any of us getting seriously ill with CV is low.

But even if the government say it’s ok to stay with grandparents - that’s only because nhs has capacity. They still stand more chance of getting seriously ill if we take cv to them. I don’t know if I’m prepared to take that risk (dh & I are more exposed through our jobs than many others though so I might feel different if we’d just been at home the whole time).

Unlocking us makes no difference to the vulnerable and Shielded. If your parents are at risk then until there is a vaccine you are putting them at risk by visiting them. Ultimately we all have to take responsibility for our actions and if we start shopping at Next or kids returning to schools then you visiting your parents puts them at risk.

Remember nothing has changed. Covid19 is still here. All we have done is to protect the NHS. Your elderly vulnerable family and friends are still at risk until more of us have had it or there is a vaccine. It’s not difficult.

I think you just need to use your own judgement now - after all, that’s what the ‘elite’ have been doing all along. We chose to all completely isolate (my parents, my sister’s family and my family) so no going out at all and shopping delivered and antibacterial wiped down once a week. No children are at school and all adults are working from home. After 14 days of doing this we feel that it is now pretty much completely safe to go round to my parents house so they can see the children. There is no way I would put them at risk but if any of us catch it with all the measures we have put in place then we are all fucked anyway!

Has anybody recently given birth here who is juggling thoughts about grandparents cuddling baby? I can’t decide what to believe anymore, my baby is due any day now and is first grandchild on my side. I’ve warned my in-laws that nobody will be cuddling baby until my mum and dad have as it’s 5th grandchild on husbands side and they’ve stuck to self isolating as there’s another baby due too! They seem happy with my decision but I have a feeling once baby’s here then they’ll start hinting at wanting more. I’m happy to visit them in the garden at a distance for now but with restrictions seeming to be easing, I have the odd day when I’m thinking ‘sod it’, 5 minute cuddles from each grandparent can’t possibly be a bigger risk than wandering around the park, or being cuddled my us after one of us has been to the supermarket? I’m really struggling to cope with the idea of finally having my own baby and yet nobody is allowed to give it that newborn cuddle!! Even if Boris declares it safe to do so, I wouldn’t be sure what to believe then anyway??!

@Whydoireadthis - as a mother of two boys (and you might have sons too) why are you not letting your in-laws have a cuddle but your parents are ok?

My wish is one strict household bubble (your household with one other), but you can go inside, and have physical contact

I don't want that version.
How do you choose which household? How do choose between MIL and my parents? Does that mean DD can't see any friends, even if outside?

I don't mine being outside at present - luckily the weather has been dry - but I want to see more than one person at a time. I want to be allowed, officially, to see my mum and dad at the same time - rather than 'breaking the rules' to do so.

The whole thing is a mess. No one really knows what they can do abd most people have given up caring. Weigh the risks for yourself and make your own decision.

But I don’t think that will work, catsmother1 as it would result in people having to choose between family members. Picking your favourite set of grandparents. Or your favourite child and grandchildren. I don’t think people would comply with that.

I certainly won't be wandering around a ton of non essential shops to get the economy going while refusing to see my family.

Do what you like. Own risk assessment.

Except for the local vigilantes and Facebook warriors terrorising people they seem to have broken the rules.

@TheHarryFormerlyKnownAsPrince terrorising, really? If you can't take a moron making a sarcastic comment about you on their sad facebook page, by all means, just stay inside.

ky07 well, in our village an outsider family visited a second home. Ended up having to call the police to report themselves and ask to be escorted out of here because they feared for their physical safety.

@Coffeeandbeans it’s not that I won’t let them, I just think it’d be unfair for one set to have a cuddle when the other can’t? In laws will have been self isolated for longer but my parents can’t until June when they have a cancelled holiday to work with. My dad has been helping his mum as she’s been in and out of hospital (non-covid!) and to top it off, my mum works with vulnerable people too. If I wait til all parents have isolated, baby wouldn’t be a newborn and it makes me sad to think they won’t have had that experience. I would be the same if the situation was vice versa and in-laws were in my parents situation.

Not a chance I’d stick to just one other household. My DD wants to see her close friends, we both want to see my parents . My brother wants to see my parents, his wife wants to see her dad, their son wants to see his mates. Designating another household is nonsensical.

Scotland have it right - a group of 10 seems a bit large to me, 6 is good. But not a fixed group and absolutely social distancing.

I agree with the comments about doing your own risk assessment OP but I also appreciate your point about the neighbours in the SW potentially complaining to your parents about your presence and putting them in an invidious position. I would also comprehend the neighbours’ stance given that hospitals in that region would struggle with a second wave. It’s difficult.

On your general point - for me, the ten person thing works because I’ve no extended family other than neighbouring parents who we still see at a distance, so my priorities are my partner who lives 20 miles away, my best mates, and my teenagers’ friends. In general I think that teens and tweens are probably better off being able to see their friends rather than childless aunts/uncles etc and I reckon that people will try to facilitate that for them.

The household bubble (with one other household) wouldn’t work for everyone, but that is what they did in New Zealand. My cousin is out there. Basically they only had to choose one household at the start, then every week or two they could add one other household. After about 6 weeks (which was a couple of weeks ago) they could hang out with whoever they wanted. They only had to social distance in public where there were strangers basically. The idea being that they can trace exactly who you’ve been with.

Its a tiny positive step, let’s hope the weather holds! I’m so much more desperate to see and support my widowed Mum though, seeing her alone & upset on video calls has been the hardest part of lockdown for me. I wish we could travel to see her this week. DC1 goes back to school next week and from there on our risk to her would be so much greater so realistically won’t see her for many more months. This pandemic is a big pile of steaming shit.

@Patch23042 totally agree teens and tweens need to be one of the forefront groups considered when relaxing restrictions.

But I don’t think that will work, catsmother1 as it would result in people having to choose between family members. Picking your favourite set of grandparents. Or your favourite child and grandchildren. I don’t think people would comply with that.

Guernsey did the 2 household thing for two weeks, followed by an expansion to 4 households. The choice of one other household wouldn't be forever, it would be a temporary measure as part of a phased lockdown release, and the number of households would presumably be increased as time goes on. If you couldn't decide then you would choose nobody until the number of households was increased enough for you to be able to see both sets of grandparents or whoever it is you want to see.

It isn't possible for us to go straight to being allowed to see everyone we want to, or to having a rule that doesn't involve closed bubbles of some sort. If we don't have any bubble arrangement the alternative would surely be not being allowed non socially distanced contact with any other household until lockdown is fully over, which I am sure would be equally unpopular.

Quality over quantity please. Having large garden parties with everyone 1 m apart – because I’m sure they would lower the distance in that case – nobody allowed to use the toilet, sounds quite miserable. I’d rather self isolate for two weeks and then allow my daughter to interact properly with her grandparents.

I no not any one can answer but we are a big family (family of 7) does that mean i can see 3 people? I just dont no. Hopefully they will explain more

I cant wait for for the bubble of 10 to begin. I'm so excited.