Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

For those who are on the shielding for 12 weeks. What are you going to do at the end if that?

103 replies

Shosha1 · 20/05/2020 18:35

I'm on week 10 now, I havnt stepped foot over my front door, only seen DH, and I am so so fed up.
I have Lupus and take Presidone so was put into the group straight away.
Do we just stay in till there is either a vaccine, or track and trace ?

OP posts:
TabbyMumz · 21/05/2020 09:45

Kazzy's post wasnt rude or abrupt to me, it was factual and straight forward.

Honeyroar · 21/05/2020 09:48

I think she was abrupt and heartless. The OP is clearly a bit down and lonely. If any post deserved compassion it’s one like that.. My elderly mum is shielding and finding it really tough. She was nearly in tears last night at the thought of it continuing.

NameChange84 · 21/05/2020 09:52

I actually agree that it was an unpleasant post and quite tactless. Whilst there is no need to fawn or be over the top with kindness, there’s equally no need to poo-poo a genuine enquiry from an isolated and sad OP and twist the knife in further.

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 21/05/2020 10:02

I am shielding and been thinking about this too. I think Kazzy’s post summarised exactly what I am thinking for myself, and didn’t read it as anything other than sensible and practical.

I think my life is better now than it will be for the next year. While everyone is in lockdown I have all my family here, know they are safe and can see them and talk to them and even have little hugs. I am not sharing a bed with DH per the guidelines. But am loving sitting the sofa each day. Once lockdown ends and they want to start going out/back to school etc I think my life will then change drastically and that does worry me a bit. Either I will stay home and socially isolate at home and worry about touching anything or anyone or I need to go and live somewhere else (as several other shielding friends are doing). Either way it will be hard and boring but also I shan’t be being the mother and wife I normally am.

It is what it is and I cannot change it so I have to live with it. But I honestly think until there’s a vaccine I am going to be locked up.

TabbyMumz · 21/05/2020 10:36

"twist the knife in further."
Not sure we were reading the same post. There was nothing "twist the knife in further" about it?!

NameChange84 · 21/05/2020 10:41

Surely it's obvious that you stay locked inside Locked inside? When someone is already claustrophobic. And the “surely it’s obvious” poo pooing OPs enquiry's

At the end of the day, it's your choice whether to take the risk of going out. The police aren't going to stop you just because you have the shielding letter. There's not going to be a specific day when it's suddenly safe to go out again. It'll be months, if not years, of changing risk levels.. “At the end of the day it’s your choice” is pretty passive aggressive language. And yes, it will be months if not years is twisting the knife in for someone who is completely isolated from the rest of the world and already struggling. Like I said, no need to fawn but likewise no need to be dismissive and deliberately pessimistic when the reality is none of know where we will be in years.

NameChange84 · 21/05/2020 10:42

Don’t know where the added ‘s came from, that should have been “enquiry.”

Sorryoo · 21/05/2020 10:53

@MabelX do you have a link for that please as I haven't seen anywhere an extension has been confirmed?

MereDintofPandiculation · 21/05/2020 10:55

The post to me sounded as if Kazzy was irritated "surely it's obvious' with the implication "why are you bothering us about it? Just get on with keeping out of sight and let normal people get on with their lives". So not rude, but lacking sympathy for someone who has already had over two months of not leaving the house, and is facing an unknown future of not being able to get out, see a view that is not the same as the one from her house, meet loved family members and friends, even do such simple things as be able to try on a pair of shoes before buying.

Sorryoo · 21/05/2020 10:59

And if someone starts a post with "Surely it's obvious" it does kind of set a rolling eyes dismissive tone with a side order of you're a bit stupid. Not good under the circumstances (especially when it's a thread for people living in a really shit isolating situation with a high risk of death) you go on to say you could be locked in your house for years! So yeah, thanks for that Grin

I dislike all this be kind shlock but I think the expression read the room should be more widely used on MN!

TabbyMumz · 21/05/2020 11:00

"NameChange84

"Surely it's obvious that you stay locked insideLocked inside? When someone is already claustrophobic."

I'm confused, the op hasnt said she is claustrophobic?

"And the “surely it’s obvious” poo pooing OPs enquiry's"

I dont see that as poo pooing, I see it as factual, but of an enquiring nature?

"At the end of the day, it's your choice whether to take the risk of going out. The police aren't going to stop you just because you have the shielding letter. There's not going to be a specific day when it's suddenly safe to go out again. It'll be months, if not years, of changing risk levels.."

“At the end of the day it’s your choice” is pretty passive aggressive language."

I'm really not seeing that. I've read it in a completely different light to you. I've read it in a nice unassuming tone.

"And yes, it will be months if notyearsis twisting the knife in for someone who is completely isolated from the rest of the world and already struggling."

Again, I'm sorry, but I see that as factual.

"Like I said, no need to fawn but likewise no need to be dismissive and deliberately pessimistic when the reality is none of know where we will be inyears."

I think we will just have to agree to disagree, I really saw nothing wrong with her post. I think it depends on how you read it.

ofwarren · 21/05/2020 11:07

@Sorryoo it's page 36 of the 55 page document the government released last week. If you search for "our plan to rebuild" it's a PDF. I can't attach it for some reason.

BeyondDreamsOfBeyondFourWalls · 21/05/2020 11:14

Continuing to shield mostly, hopefully with the one exception being my wedding (if it's on - fingers crossed - as weddings apparently come under "amber" in Wales. Bit selfishly annoyed at that one, given the government think I'm at risk of imminent death, it'd be nice to be able to legally make my DP my NoK...)

Might, at most, go on a few walks to the middle of nowhere. But only when I'm happy that the risk is miniscule. And I'm a generally paranoid person Grin

NameChange84 · 21/05/2020 11:15

@TabbyMumz

I think we will just have to agree to disagree, I really saw nothing wrong with her post. I think it depends on how you read it.

That’s great and I have no problem agreeing to disagree. However, I’m not the only one who has read it this way. What a pp poster has said about the need to “read the room” is good advice.

Potentialmadcatlady · 21/05/2020 11:18

Op... I’m shielding my teens..I haven't been out the door in ten weeks and this week has been incredibly hard...
Right now I have no idea what we are going to do.. we are staying in until end of June for sure then I’m hoping by that stage things will be a bit clearer..
I’m sending you virtual hugs and understanding thoughts. I understand.

To everyone else I’m so fed up explaining this.. we aren’t all old and this isn’t our normal. My teens have normal lives working towards their ( very bright) futures in careers that will be useful to society. They matter. Everyone matters. This isn’t a competition.
Unless you are in our shoes you can’t possibly understand what we are going through.. we don’t even understand it..the path ahead is not clear.. we don’t know what we are going to do or how we are going to manage.. we are literally taking each day a day at a time..
Kindness costs little and can be easily achieved while social distancing 🙂

MissJG · 21/05/2020 11:19

Could you direct me towards that information please? I cannot see anything regarding that on the GOV.UK website.

Sorryoo · 21/05/2020 11:21

Thank you! I don't read that as a "definite will be extended" it's just the original guidance still that says it's until the 30th June and will be constantly under review?

I do realise how silly this all is as I know in my head it pretty much will be extended - I just don't want to hear it at the moment! I think they will wait until nearer the time and probably not until June so it doesn't "sound" so bad.

Personally I am not sure how long I can live like this and am weighing it up anyway. Because of the DC it just seems almost selfish though to knowingly put myself at more risk when on the face of it I'm only being asked to sit inside. Which is why I have been abiding by it but it's so much harder than it sounds on the face of it. It's making me really low and I don't know if that's worse for the DC.

I don't know (isn't there a lot I don't know! Blush) what I will do if/when it's extended. I do think they will assess risk categories and perhaps change them - I fear I will still be risk anyway.

Sorryoo · 21/05/2020 11:23

Sorry, that was very me me me and I know it must be harder shielding your DC as some of you are. It's just shit all round isn't it.

MissJG · 21/05/2020 11:27

There has been no confirmation or statement released regarding the extension of shielding...beyond 30:06:2020.

MabelX · 21/05/2020 11:29

Yes there has @MissJG it’s literally on the Gov website.

NameChange84 · 21/05/2020 11:31

@MabelX

This is what it says on the gov website

The Government is currently advising people to shield until 30 June 2020 and is regularly monitoring this position.

MabelX · 21/05/2020 11:31

“ The guidance on shielding and vulnerability will be kept under review as the UK moves through the phases of the Government’s strategy. It is likely that the Government will continue to advise people who are clinically extremely vulnerable to shield beyond June.”

Potentialmadcatlady · 21/05/2020 11:31

Sorryoo.. you are right.. it is just shit... hang in there.. I think you are right.. I don’t think they will say anything until mid way through June.. I have given up looking that far ahead.. I have told my teens that I reckon it will be Sept before they can get back to some sort of normality- realistically I think it will be much much longer for my younger one but I’m not saying that to them at the minute.. it’s too much for them to cope with..
I find it’s easier to just think of this week and how I can make it as decent as possible for us- menu planning their favourites, movie evening with extra snacks to look forward too at end of week.. gardening time for me and lie-ins for them ( how teenagers do their homework in the middle of the night I will never know), a few small cleaning tasks allocated to them to help per week to help add a little structure, as much screen time as they want as long as they spend a little time in garden each day getting some fresh air..
All baby steps but what else can we do..
one day at a time

MabelX · 21/05/2020 11:33

@NameChange84 The Gov website says:

“The guidance on shielding and vulnerability will be kept under review as the UK moves through the phases of the Government’s strategy. It is likely that the Government will continue to advise people who are clinically extremely vulnerable to shield beyond June.”