So sick of seeing all the I’m not sending my kids back to school posts

[NiknicK]

from parents on Facebook. Followed by their friends jumping on the band wagon praising them for being such a great parent. I’ve also seen posts from parents judging others who have chosen to send their kids back saying they are selfish. Why do parents feel the need to announce on Facebook that their kids aren’t going back school. My children aren’t going back to school until at least September but I haven’t felt the need to share this on social media with the hope of being validated by other parents telling me what an amazing parent I am. It’s like it’s a competition, ie the prize for the biggest martyr and best parent goes to........

We all judge at times to a certain degree. Anyone who says otherwise isn’t being honest.

I know it’s not doing any harm I never said that it was. It’s just frustrating seeing the same old posts from parents desperate to be told they’re amazing for keeping their kids at home but then judging others who chose differently to them.

Not all parents see the decision of keeping their children at home as them being 'martyrs or best parents'. You're projecting a lot.
And, also you're projecting rather oddly for someone who claims to have made the same decision. Did you make your choice based on the fact it would get you parenting points? Or so you could tell your DCs that you're a martyr to their needs? I wouldn't have thought so.
Just assume everyone's intentions are as pure and good as your own.

Totally agree. It's absolutely awful.

I wouldn’t put anything on my Facebook status about whether I’m sending DD11 back to school. But I am having mixed feelings. She’s very likely to be on the autistic spectrum & thrives on routine, plus she’s very clever, so returning to school would benefit her. Also it’s important for her to have that transition from primary to secondary. Her needs are quite complex, even though she’s not officially registered as SEN, so I have to weigh up all the pros & cons. I am hoping to return to my part time job in retail but absolutely will not make a decision until DD is sorted. She comes first.

I’d be interested to know the employment status of those who are adamant they’re not sending kids back - I would guess there is a fair proportion of them don’t work outside of the home

Neither of my children would be going back although it seems highly unlikely that the eldest school will open anytime before August anyway but if the nursery and childminder start back my youngest won't be going until her sister is back at school.

Both myself and my husband work out of the home but we can do our jobs from home and our workplaces are happy for us to continue to do so. I'm unlikely to be back in my office this year. We have been afforded flexibility by our employers to adjust our working hours so there is only a 2 hour crossover a day where the kids are eating lunch and then in the garden/watching something/school work etc. One of us will work downstairs these 2 hours so they aren't alone.

Most of my friends and family have had similar flexibility from their employers.

I don't understand what the great advantage of waiting until September is. It's like people think coronavirus is going to have gone by then. If anything most viral infections seem to peak around the autumn / winter period due to people being indoors more, so the autumn term is likely to be riskier. Unfortunately coronavirus is here to stay now, (even if there's a vaccination invariably not all people will get it, and no vaccination has a 100% success rate, so just like other diseases that have a vaccine available - whooping cough, measles, meningitis etc there will always be some cases and a risk that a child will contract it at school). At some point we're going to have to learn to live with the risk and get back to some degree of normality, and accept that a small risk of our kids contracting an illness at school has always been there, and always will be there.

"My friend pointed out that Eton, Harrow and Winchester aren’t going back till September"

They can't open yet. Their boarding houses and facilities are in use by essential workers and charities.

It’s just frustrating seeing the same old posts from parents desperate to be told they’re amazing for keeping their kids at home but then judging others who chose differently to them.

A genuine question, what makes you think that they're desperate to be told they're amazing? Is it the way they phrase it?

Luckily I haven't seen any posts like this, but I know the type, and have learnt to internally eyeroll whilst scrolling past. It's better for my blood pressure and mental health I find.

*I don't understand what the great advantage of waiting until September is. I don't think anyone is saying September come hell or high water or an r of 5 though are they. It's more not yet, we'll wait till September with an inalienable caveat of "if it's safe". "

I agree i’ve just seen someone post on Facebook saying she won’t be sending her little darling to school, how could any parent put their children at risk It wasn’t that long ago she posted on Facebook for a babysitter and any old stranger would do. I see such hypocrisy all over the place at the moment.

I won’t be sending my year 6 child in, I don’t think the schools should open but I don’t judge others for their decision. I presume they’ve decided it’s best for their family and have put as much thought into their decision as I have mine. I don’t agree with them but it’s their choice.

Interestingly, my daughters primary school have now said that they are unlikely to open on June 1st as they won’t be ready.

SleepingStandingUp

Exactly. We’ll see how things are for September but I’m not expecting things to be any safer then so I will continue to homeschool if I feel that’s the best way forward. My daughter is happy with that plan at the moment but obviously if she wants to go back to school, we will take that into account when making our decision.

I don't understand what the great advantage of waiting until September is.

simply to see what happens in June and the following weeks now many restrictions are lifted and after some kids go back to school. It will be easier to make a decision then.

I remember in the weeks leading up to school closure & lockdown back on 23rd March, the local mums group on Facebook was going into meltdown with all the debate about whether people were still sending their kids to school or not.

At that point we did not know the date when the schools would close, many kids were taken out of school prior to the official closure.

Similar stuff to what is being posted now eg I love my kids too much to put them at risk by continuing to send them to school.

Another who talked about walking out of her job to ensure she could pull her kids out of school (maybe slight overreaction, she could've got herself furloughed if she'd left it a few more weeks!)

It's all the same debate, but coming from a different angle now.

All the more reason to stop using Facebook.
People can do what they want but implying that parents who do send their kids to school care less about their children is ridiculous.
I think those that will choose to send in their kids(assuming no underlying health issues for them or close family) love them as much as the next parent, they just have a better grasp on the genuine risks.

Whats more annoying on social media during lockdown is all the intelligent women who have joined cults. Selling candles, books, Creams potions and lotions. Frustrating.

I think those that will choose to send in their kids... just have a better grasp on the genuine risks.
You post seemed to start so well, then ended so Judgy

Lots of use of "I don't want to" or "I want to".

What about those who "have to", "must" send their children to school otherwise they will lose their job.

This forum is so middle class! Many people don't have the luxury of choice.

If the furlough scheme had been ended, many more people would have no choice but to send their children to school next month. Just like those on minimum wage or zero hours contracts.

It's 65 percent said yes in my area for the local primary and I'm surprised to be honest! That will be a lot of children going back as it's a fairly big school but it has lots of space so maybe this was a factor?
I though it would be more fifty : fifty.
September will be interesting though!

Completely agree.

Makes me feel like a really shit mum when I'm desperate for mine to go back.

This forum is so middle class! Many people don't have the luxury of choice.

I don't think "class" has anything to do with it in alot of cases. For many it's the ability to choose because the roles they have allow them to work from home... I've seen alot of people who has expressly stated that they are working class but the job they have allows them flexibility.

I don't think anyone should feel shit whichever they choose when they are the position of choice. I really feel for people who's jobs don't allow for that flexibility where they would choose otherwise if they did.

This forum is so middle class! Many people don't have the luxury of choice
It isn't just the middle class who have choice. I think there's very few of our children going back for reception or Yr 1, poor wc area with most homes having a sahp because their salary wouldn't cover childcare. Gonna be plenty of poor kids stuck at home for six months without education too

All 12 former education secretaries have said the children need to go back. I believe it's too soon , but as I work very part time in a school I will be going in and use common sense and be guided by my supervisor.
However, if it is so important, I m still puzzled as to why secondary schools can't return ( years 11 and 12 at least?)
I know it's to get the economy moving but surely some older children are just as vulnerable as the younger ones are as well and will miss months of work. Year 4 and 5 are only 8 or 9 : will they be able to be left at home if their parents work? Seems very young to me to be left all day but maybe that's just me! ( they might be delighted they can't go in !)
Will teachers that are shielded be off till September?
Keeping reception children apart , even in 'blocks' of 15 will be hard going.
I can't say I'm looking forwards to it but just have to hope it's all ok of course and keep washing my hands!

I am among people who believe that school starts too early for young children anyway. When children do enough at home, as mine are, they are not missing out on any education, at worst they catch up.

What my children are missing are all the social aspects and friendships of school. When schools reopen and they are therefore allowed to meet their friends, I am just as happy if they meet to play together with people I chose, than being stuck in a classroom with others whose family I can't chose. That will be my first step to "normal".