So sick of seeing all the I’m not sending my kids back to school posts

[NiknicK]

from parents on Facebook. Followed by their friends jumping on the band wagon praising them for being such a great parent. I’ve also seen posts from parents judging others who have chosen to send their kids back saying they are selfish. Why do parents feel the need to announce on Facebook that their kids aren’t going back school. My children aren’t going back to school until at least September but I haven’t felt the need to share this on social media with the hope of being validated by other parents telling me what an amazing parent I am. It’s like it’s a competition, ie the prize for the biggest martyr and best parent goes to........

@ITonyah and yet, here you are....

Not seeking any kind of validation lougle and anonymous.

I win. One of mine won't be going to school ever again.

It's absolutely personal choice. I don't think anyone should be judged on their decision or be judging anyone else.

Seeking validation on social media is absolutely pathetic

I don't agree.

In such a bizarre climate with people not able to see their friends, I think social media is the obvious choice to do a quick straw poll that you're doing the right thing.

But then I like the people I'm connected with on social media, certainly on Facebook so if they need it at the moment I'm quite happy for them to get all the validation they want!

Not only are mine never going to school ever again, I've used experimental psychological treatment to remove the memory or knowledge of the existence of school from their minds forever. Like in that film Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I WIN!!! I AM THE BEST PARENT!!!!!!!!!

but I haven’t felt the need to share this on social media with the hope of being validated by other parents telling me what an amazing parent I am because people don't know what the right choice is and want reassuring their not screwing up their kids life.

It’s like it’s a competition, ie the prize for the biggest martyr and best parent goes to........ vote both ways. Militant sender backers can be pretty scathing about those not so and how ridiculous their decision is

I love my friends and have kept in touch with all of the important ones without FB. But I was once quite addicted to it so would have taken umbrage at the idea I was seeking validation then!

I agree. It's the latest iteration of performance parenting (see last month's "look at how creative my kids are in lockdown", plus also a stealth boast that you can afford to keep your kids off.

Totally personal decision which each family has to come to its own conclusions on. So easy to inadvertently make people feel shit about things they have no control over.

Totally personal choice. There are so many factors to consider.
I am a sahm currently (self employed but currently unable to work) and could keep them at home but feel I am judged for considering sending them to school

I do understand that some parents aren’t sure of their decision so they may chose to ask their friends on Facebook what their intentions are. That’s completely understandable and harmless. But I’m talking about parents taking to Facebook with intention of berating other parents for sending their children to school and making out that they’re superior for keeping their kids at home.

Cuts both ways. I’m not sending mine back because I can’t - we are in the shielding category. Our class WhatsApp (90%) going back is a lengthy list of reasons why everyone should send their children back, mostly centred on how the children need it for their mental health and lots of applauding of how essential it is to “just get on with it.” Which makes me feel pretty crap to be honest.

FWIW I haven’t given any reason, just said DS won’t be going back. Partly because I don’t want to go into DH’s medical history, partly because I don’t have any choice to justify.

...... how some things are pure attention seeking and rather annoying.

I'd say that's about 75% of all FB posts

We have a yr 1 DC. I'm sponging up as much info as i can about what her return to school will look on 1st June if i send her. The one place i'd like info from (her school) doesn't know what it's doing yet.

I was watching the news this morning and the conflict and chaos of ideas from the various 'experts' just confused me even more. I sat there thinking - i have to make this decision and i actually have no one i trust to help me do it. My friends don't know any more than i do. DH will go with my decision.I don't post on FB (I read it) i read mumsnet to get a feel for what others are thinking.

I think a lot of parents are looking for help to come to some sort of decision. I think a lot of these FB posts are doing that, but clumsily.

I’m talking about parents taking to Facebook with intention of berating other parents for sending their children to school and making out that they’re superior for keeping their kids at home.

Well they're just dick heads. Sadly there's no dickhead filter on FB. Or in real life for that matter

@toolatetooearly 😂😂😂😂

I have no schoolage dc but my youngest grandson is Year 6. I hope he gets to see his primary friends in school and has a chance for a proper end to that phase of his education. There are only 15 in his year group and social distancing would be possible.
My dd is a teacher in a comp and is anxious about going back, and about her older dc (Y8), who would be alone if the rest go back. In normal times I would have him and I still would but times aren’t normal.

My own Facebook isn’t used for attention seeking posts. I use it mostly to keep up with family who live at the opposite end of the country and friends who I can’t see regularly enough but it’s mostly sharing pictures of our families and joke type posts.

Delete the others then. That will eliminate all the posts you are moaning about from your news feed.

I don't want to see your dinner. I don't want to look at your dogs. I don't care if your child won an ice skating competition or was star of the week. I don't want to know you've got the best husband because he brought you tea in bed. I don't care what you look like before you go out or first thing in the morning before you put make-up on. I'm not fussed that you've been for a run every day for five years as of today. I don't care if you think Trump is a maligned genius and I don't want to see the latest Momentum video either. I definitely don't want to watch videos of people squeezing their spots.

So I don't really go on Facebook much. Problem solved.

Well mine aren't going back UNTIL AT LEAST AUGUST.

(Because we're in Scotland and St Nicola has decreed that we shall remain "in the hoose").

No, I win, as two of mine will never go again. they are both uni graduates, but that's not relevant, is it?

My personal biggest peeve at the mo is the photo of parliament saying ‘until it’s safe for parliament to do this, I won’t be sending my child to school’..

Except, that’s not how they are suggesting schools go back is it? No-one is suggesting we pack children together in huge numbers. Parliament isn’t going to look normal for a fair while. And nor are schools. Not now, not in September. So then what? Are you keeping your child off indefinitely? Can you really home school and work full time for potentially over a year?!

Each to their own in terms of opinion on sending your child back but let’s not share facts that are simply not true or scaremongering!

I’m not sending mine to school - but I’m not going to start bragging about it.

I intended to but then the head sent an email last week making it very clear she felt it was the wrong thing to do. I don’t feel comfortable doing it after reading everything she had to say but I most definitely support anyone that decides to send their children to school - whatever reason. It’s a tough decision.

@Laiste
This is exactly the position we are in. Our decision is being asked for in increasingly more frequent intervals, but I keep stating that without more information from school I cannot give a definite answer. But they aren't able to give more information. We are at an impasse. Hopefully the council will give them more info as the week goes on and they'll be able to make more decisions and release more info to get over our stalemate.

I've said "yes but I reserve the right to say no if the information released doesn't suit our wishes."

This drives me nuts too. Last week a fb friend posted a picture of what classrooms will look like, announcing that most parents won't know that's what they're sending their children back into - she works in education. I don't know many people who were believing school will be like pre lock down! However for some parents, needs must, they don't need guilt tripping for being in a situation that they can't control.

That, along with the "I'm going to keep my little prince/princess safe at home - can't believe some parents are sending children in!" Posts I've had to take a break from Facebook.

The fact is the situation is shit, in an ideal world we'd all hide away for the next couple of years, with no money worries, no concerns over education, no mental health battles etc, but a lot of people don't have that choice.

Getting other people to agree with you validates your decision.
So if you are not sending your children back, telling everyone else, and hopefully getting others to agree, means you wont be alone.
The same if you are sending your back. You dont want to be the only one, so if you tell everyone else, then it also lets others know, and they are not alone.