Teens being alone

[Nochangeplease]

After reading another thread I’m really alarmed at the lack of sympathy for parents of older children who have to work.
I’m worried this is going to be a problem for me, as my boss is likely to be of the opinion my child can be left at home, as do most people on here it seems.
Do people not see that it might not always be possible to leave teenagers alone during the day in the middle of a pandemic? Or is it really that black and white to other people?

It massively depends on the child. Mine are 12 and 13. They are both totally capable of being left alone. I’m aware though that some children are not for various reasons.

Mine would be fine for a day or two. They wouldn’t for weeks on end if I was working full time.

What do you do during the long summer breaks? And other holidays? Are you happy to leave them then? Are they busy doing schoolwork?

Why would it not be possible, how old is your child?

I think my 13 yr old DD would be extremely unhappy to be left alone at the moment.

You can speak to your employers about flexible working on a temporary basis if you need to be at home more - you can make an informal or a formal flexible Woking request eg for

3 days in office and 2 from home) if your job can be fine from home?

amending your hours on a temporary basis? My teen doesn't get up till lunchtime so if I worked 8-4 he'd only be on his own 4 hours a day.

Or temporarily going part time? May be appealing to some businesses if they are not as busy as usual.

My manager told me once I shouldn't have, and in future wouldn't be allowed to, use parental leave when my ds was sick. He was 11 at the time and apparently that was old enough to be left from 6.30am until 10.15pm.

My teenager (just 14) is fine being left alone. What do you do in school holidays before this? Mines been left alone since secondary school from 8-3 when I work

I agree with you OP - it’s not that simple. My dd (year 9) has been very independent since the start of year 7 - coming home to an empty house and gradually getting more comfortable spending more time alone, etc. In the school holidays she does spend the odd day here and there all alone at home but otherwise she does have stuff on - so she might have the morning at home but then go to do an organise sports activity. I would not leave her to be alone all day, day after day - not because she can’t look after herself but because she would get pretty depressed and unmotivated.

I think it’s different if maybe you have more than one teen at home (provided they get on).

I don’t work in a school, but I don’t work school holidays so that’s not an issue.
My child is in heat 9. From what I’ve been reading there is strong feelings that it’s absurd to think a child of this age can’t be left alone and I’m starting to think this may be the view of my employer.
I can’t leave them alone. But there’s no SEN and no ‘proof’ of any reasons why.
I honestly don’t know what I’ll do.

She’s been on her own before, but not for full days. Just a couple of hours. Usually she would go to my parents house if needed.

I have left my two alone (but together) since they were 12 and 15 for the whole week, Monday-Friday 8-6, during school holidays whilst I work. As long as there’s food and WiFi they’re happy! I’m working at home at the moment, they rarely speak to me, I am in the kitchen so they pass me by to fetch another snack occasionally.
Are you contactable at work? What do you think your teenager will need you at home for? Is your teen happy to be left? Do you trust them?

My older children would've been fine, my youngest has SEN so may never be able to be left! My stepchildren try to murder each other 24/7 even with an adult in the house, so not a chance could they be left. Luckily thier mum doesn't work cos she'd come home to a crime scene!

So your dd is 13 or more likely 14 ?
You've not said that you work unusual hours (late into the night) or 2 hours commute each way from home, so I'm presuming you'd be out around 8 - 5 or 6ish ?

Why do you think she wouldn't be alright ?

Why hasn't she ever been without you for more than couple of hours ?

She would most definitely prefer to be left but it’s not an option. Multiple reasons why. I guess it’s safeguarding but I can’t prove that to my employer, nor do I want to discuss it with them.

@Nochangeplease lucky you having all the school holidays off most people dont. If you did have to work during the school holidays what would you do?
Are you sure you aren't the same OP as the other thread with a name change?

14. Hasn’t ever had to be left for long periods because I’ve never worked in school holidays. I don’t have a long commute and work roughly 8-4. It’s not a question of whether she can be left or not, she can’t. But do you think an employer would accept that I can’t leave my child, she is a child under my responsibility regardless of age.

I can’t prove that to my employer, nor do I want to discuss it with them

Well if you don't make your employer aware that you are unable to leave your daughter home alone and you don't discuss possible solutions with them then how can they help you??

@Concerned7777 Why does your post have such a spiteful tone to it?
I’m not lucky. I deliberately took a low paying job for the specific reason it came with school holidays off.
If it didn’t, she would have gone to my parents in the holidays most likely, but can’t because of the pandemic.

I think you'll need to be able to give some sort of justification, tbh. Even if it's 'she gets anxious if she's left alone'.

@StayAlert I’d go into the details with my employer if I have to, of course. But I’m interested to know, if they’re likely to be understanding of the fact, I have a child at home, who can not be leftz, without questioning why because of their age. Or if they are more likely to have the view of most people on here, in which case I’ll probably have to explain further. My colleagues with younger children probably won’t have to explain.

You have the legal right to submit a request to work flexibly if you have a child under 18.

You can request a change to your working days, hours or location (eg homeworking).

There is a process an employer has to follow on receiving a formal request and specific grounds on which they are permitted to reject it. Have a look on the ACAS website about it.

I can’t work from home and I don’t believe I’d be granted flexible working because of the nature of the business. Sorry that’s a bit vague.
Even flexible days wouldn’t work. I wouldn’t be prepared to risk leaving her for one day.

Same story as the other thread only ds has turned into dd .
If you aren't the same OP then you have 4 options
1 tell your employer the full safeguarding reasons they may be more sympathetic
2 leave DC with grandparents or other family member ( classed as looking after the vulnerable mixing 2 household, your dc being the vulnerable 1)
3 leave your dc alone
4 resign from your job

That's really tricky. You can request to be furloughed if you have no childcare, but your employer doesn't have to agree. It sounds like your concerns are more to do with family circumstances than a special need of some sort (although I could be entirely wrong). I think you'll just have to explain.