Furloughed single parents returning to work who have no childcare - Advice please

[mummytippy]

I've been furloughed since 24/3 after previously offering to work from home and being told no. I do admin work in an office so working from home is doable once I have the paperwork. I've no idea what my boss's reasons were as I have the technology and it's not rocket science.

I have a 13 yo ds in Year 9 who obviously isn't going back to school anytime soon. I've been home schooling him as he's the type of child who has needed me to stand over him to ensure he stays on task. The work set by his school has also been set in multiple formats, not all online so I can't just leave him to it.

Today I've had a text from my boss asking me if I would be prepared to swap days if requested. I usually work 3 full days 9-5.

Aside from Boris making it clear in his speech yesterday, that single parents with no childcare are 'impeded' and have a 'barrier' in returning to work and the Government would 'hope employers are understanding of this'

I also found this on the Gov.UK Website:

www.gov.uk/guidance/claim-for-wage-costs-through-the-coronavirus-job-retention-scheme

''Employees with caring responsibilities

Employees who are unable to work because they have caring responsibilities resulting from coronavirus (COVID-19) can be furloughed. For example, employees that need to look after children can be furloughed''.

I can't leave my ds at home by himself so how do I reply to my boss?

What are everyone else's plans on how to contact their employer to ask to remain on furlough due to no childcare?

Thank you in advance

Well, at the end of the day you have two options - suck it up and go to work, or refuse, asked to be furloughed and accept that it will most likely have negative consequences going forward.

I'm not looking to place him with a childcare provider.

But you're wanting furlough on the basis of lack of childcare.
You can't argue that childcare is lacking when it's no different to normal.

I'm not looking to place him with a childcare provider...

plenty of parents have to do this. You say you cannot leave him alone. Yet at the same time you are refusing childcare.

at least admit that you don't want to work.

@Nochangeplease

Did they at least confirm you were furloughed in the first place?
I heard nothing from mine until 1/4!
My colleague messaged me to tell me not to go in on 24/3... then I text my boss on 1/4 to get it confirmed as I needed copies of my payslips in order to claim certain things.
Very worrying and frustrating

read my OP @vengeancer

I WANT TO WORK FROM HOME

I wouldn't be happy leaving a 13 yo home for such a long time. Maybe you can collect the work and do it from home?

I've just sent my 13 year old back to school. He had been home for five days a week though. It wasn't a childcare issue, but because it was five days a week, week after week. Normally school holidays are broken up by meeting up with friends and by me taking leave. We were also having issues with schoolwork not being done. Until September is a long time to be alone, and potentially a lot of schoolwork that could be missed.

So I understand where you are coming from, though personally, if I only worked three days I think I'd feel okay with leaving my 13 year old.

Don't employees need to sign something to say they agree to the furlough and it has to be reviewed every 3 weeks?

Some of my colleagues were furloughed and were notified by email they had to respond to the email to agree to it before it could happen

The only thing you can do is speak to your employer but it's likely they'll also think a 13 Yr old can be left. I understand your concerns somewhat as a lone parent of an 11 Yr old. I had to leave him home alone before furlough was sorted and whilst he's sensible and got on with his school work it wouldn't have worked long term as he was lonely and still a bit freaked out by the massive sudden changes to his life. In normal times where he would have went off out to play with friends at 3pm it would probably have been fine but these are not normal times.
I'm lucky my boss understands my issues as my normal childcare (GP's) is no longer an option due to shielding so she has more or less said I'll be last to be unfurloughed as I'm the only employee with a dependant.
However if you can do your job from home then I'd push for that option, the government have said anyone who can work from home should so your employer should be following the guidelines.

Thanks @ozark

Seems there's a lot of people here that are fine leaving their children home alone. 2 hours after school has been traumatising enough up to now... I realise we're in different times but will only be happy if I can work from home so I am here with him. That's my ideal situ.

My boss (and I've been there 8 years) has basically put some chevron tape down in the factory but still expects 3 of us to share an office that's approx 10' x 20'

They had a temp/cold before lockdown and when I asked for distance due to having elderly parents - I was called cheeky and had a box of tissues thrown at me

This is an extract from the government document:
"For the foreseeable future, workers should continue to work from home rather than their normal physical workplace, wherever possible."

@Concerned7777

I had to ask if I'd been furloughed and haven't signed anything.
I'm so annoyed as I've wanted to work throughout all of this

2 hours after school is "traumatising?"

Oh come on. I am the child of a lone parent and was left alone while she worked, in no way was it traumatising. How dramatic.

Anyway, you can ask your boss but they are within their rights to refuse.

@Concerned7777

I actively kept checking my email for something like that... and nothing just the text after I asked 'Have I been furloughed?'... text reply saying yes but at 80%... I thought why ''but'' at 80%... everyone was furloughed on that percentage

@Waxonwaxoff0

OK... Traumatising because...

DS got off the the school bus... went to a different town and met up with
school friends I don't approve of anymore as they went and broke into an empty building and set off the fire extinguishers

Some employers topped up the salary to 100% .

thanks @AmyFl

@Concerned7777

Yes I know... as I'm one of only 2 staff that work PT I'd be lying if I didn't feel a bit miffed my employer didn't. Especially after I had offered to work

@Concerned7777 but appreciate they did not have to. They followed the guidelines for every employee

sorry but I think its strange you wouldnt leave a 13 year old by themselves during the day

@AmyFl her employers have already told her its not possible to wfh for data security issues

@mummytippy

This is truly MN at it’s very worst. ☹️ Not much good advice and lots of judging.

MN posters should judge your employer for putting you on furlough when with some forethought they could have allowed you to work from home.

I really feel for you.

I bet lots of people replying don’t have an only child - so different if 2 children at home to keep each other company.

Also I bet lots of people replying have a partner where one of them starts early and one starts late therefore less time that a child/teen is alone in the day.

Have a look at making a flexible working request - this is the process which was already in place before Coronavirus. It specifically mentions working from home where possible.

You could request a range of options which you think would be a compromise. I would absolutely tell them that you do not want your 13 year old to be on his own for 9 hours, 3 days a week for possibly many months.

This is completely different to the holidays which at the longest are say 6 weeks less a 2 week parental holiday. Plus in normal holidays your DS could meet with friends or go to his grandparents.

Also study the Government guidance re working from home during the pandemic and the Covid secure guidelines. Write a formal letter saying you understand the Government guidance says that where possible people should be working from home. Point out that it is perfectly possible for you to do certain parts of your role from home. Ask whether they have put in place whatever measures are suggested for offices.

Assess whether you think they could easily replace you and evidence how strident you want to be in these letters. Are they perhaps unlikely to be able to easily recruit at present? Are you in a strong position due to your knowledge of the role and company?

On a separate track look into your benefits situation if you have to leave your job. Also look at Money Saving Expert and see if you can access any payment holidays on mortgage etc.

Start urgently looking for more local jobs which would mean you were out of the house for far less time. Look on indeed - you never know what you might find.

Does DS normally see his Dad. Is he seeing him at the moment? Could he stay through to a Monday evening if he is currently spending any weekends with him?

Finally is DS’s Dad paying the correct amount of maintenance? This is relevant if you end up leaving your job.

Thanks @BlueGheko

You sound like you've been and are going through a very stressful time.
It is so difficult because yes our children are older... but they're still children and do depend on us.

I've had no support from my ds's father. Not so much as a pep talk over school work, how is our ds... nothing... It's completely draining and upsetting and I don't think a lot of people are realising just how lonely children in this situ have become

It's s not that we're 'fine' leaving our children home alone; it's that we have no choice because we have to go to work. No-one wants any of this!

Not one of us here are in an ideal situation so dont think you are the only 1 having to make tough choices and sacrifices