Life going back to normal and I'm not ready!

[Makinitrain]

I'm a key worker and have been working five days throughout the lockdown. DP has been furloughed as, even though he's in good retail, the shop he works in is too small to socially distance. A small part of me also thought the owners saw an opportunity to save a bit of money, but they're finding it too difficult on their own so have asked him to come back from Wednesday. Previously he has been looking after our DC's (5 and 3) whilst I've worked.
Now it seems that from Wednesday the kids will be back in childcare and we'll both be back to our busy ridiculous life, and I'm a bit sad. I don't feel like we've achieved much in this time and I feel like we'll look back and think 'why didn't we do xyz?' I've only managed to paint one wall, do a bit of gardening. Today I woke up and every room in our house is a mess, why is it so hard to keep things organised when one of us is home all day?
Just feel a bit lost today and kind of wish we'd had a bit longer. I'm not ready to run to the school dates and go back to having to get both kids dressed and out the house by 8am every morning.

I'm just thankful that I've been able to work throughout this shitshow. DIY is for weekends.

@userxx aren't you even a teeny bit jealous of the endless summer holiday that others appear to be having?
And I stress 'some' not 'most.'

A lot of people will be in the same boat. I'm sure lots had all sorts of plans but the trauma of the last few weeks has meant they've just been keeping themselves afloat. Be kind to yourself. Have you ever done a good declutter? That has helped me keep more on top of the mess. Are there any ways you can make life less busy, if you sit down and brainstorm? I think a lot of people are craving a quieter life after this.

I’ve been working intensely from home as it’s our dept busy time. I’ve found the distraction has helped massively and I’ve got some great work done, I feel in a better place than I would have been watching endless doom on the news, or convincing myself from mumsnet that covid is going to see my obesity and thats the end of me.

I don’t want an endless holiday in my house. What sort of holiday involves a walk (no driving) where you can’t sit on a bench in case you kill people (in the early days)?

@makinitrain. I've been working through this and am glad. I've had gone nuts if I'd been off work, this isn't a holiday in any sense apart from perhaps the well off and privileged

Oh gosh come on! People furloughed at 80% of their salary will have money worries and job worries - my SIL is a chef and doesn't know if she will have a job to go back to or be able to find one anywhere else. People WAH and trying to look after and educate their kids are also struggling. People with their own businesses or self employed who can't get any government assistance before June if at all, worrying that their businesses will go under are having a shit time. I don't know anybody who is having a lovely extended holiday. Everybody I know is stressed and feels like they are failing in one or all areas. Maybe you only know super wealthy people? Or maybe your perspective is all wrong.

Absolutely not and I'm being truthful. The thought of being at home all day and all night bar a few trips to the supermarket and a catch up on friends doorsteps makes me feel anxious. I'd feel like a caged animal.

Many people will be returning to work soon so that should make you feel better, either that or pray for rain 😈. A good declutter like mentioned will help you get on top of things. The tips are reopening so you will now be able to have a good clear out.

For those of us who have relatives who are in hospital (non Covid) at the end of their lives, we really really want things to go back to normal so we can say a proper goodbye to our loved ones.

Schools will be one of the last places to return to something like normal.

Of course people are making the best of things, and it is hard to envisage change.
i met a friend of dd, aged 23, who thought it was a good time, home with family no responsibilities, i thought afterwards, that was slightly inappropriate
dont forget people have died in huge numbers.

Have been working through,which I am so glad about. I like the routine.
and enjoy the downtime in evenings and weekends,more than if I had constant downtime.

I can totally understand - but throughout life things change - when you start nursery, primary and secondary school. When you find a job, get made redundant, move in with your partner, split up with your partner.

I totally totally understand but unfortunately a lot of people are all in the same position.

@kitkatkit. Aww hope things work out ok. ❤️

I've worked from home for last two month. DH was furloughed for five weeks in the middle but is now back at work. I've not done any DIY or gardening because I've not had time between working, childcare and home education- I have no work life balance at all right now so really nothing to be jealous of here!

I didnt know Childcare was returning on Wednesday!

We’ve both been working throughout, actually more shifts/longer hours than normal in both our cases, so had even less time at home than usual. In many ways it’s been a huge blessing to have a lot of routine and responsibility to distract us from the bigger picture. No time to be watching the daily govt propaganda conferences when you’re mid-shift. But yes there are many times when I think being furloughed would have been such an opportunity for a deep declutter, clean, organise, redecorate etc. Like a mental health self-care retreat at home, I picture I’d be so zen and productive and improved and healthy had I been furloughed. But then that’s a kind of selfish way to think about it really, that’s not what is useful to society, is it, us all sat at home kondo’ing our underwear drawers and alphabetising the spice rack, doing yoga and teaching ourselves Italian. If we can be out at work contributing, then that is real hope really isn’t it. Getting back to work is looking to the future and recovery from this crisis.

That’s what I try and tell myself in the mornings when I have to drive to work and it feels like the rest of the world is having another lazy morning, pottering in their gardens, reading French philosophy and re-colour coding their socks (in my imagination!).

I think OP is stating that her children will be back in childcare (as children of key workers) as her DP is required to go back to work.

I didnt know Childcare was returning on Wednesday!

It has always been open for parents who need to work. Two keyworkers = childcare available

If could be worse, you could have both worked throughout the lock down. My husband is working through it. I honestly don't know how you'd do any kind of DIY with one parent working and the other looking after 2 small children! Impossible, unless it's the weekend.

Totally glad furlough is gonna end soon - people won’t be so keen to prolong lockdown when they have to work and provide for themselves again !

The grass is always greener...
I’ve spent 4 weeks stuck at home (2.5 in isolation, another week because dh was too ill to leave). It wasn’t fun, it wasn’t downtime, it was a constant worry whilst trying to nurse dh, oversee 4 dc doing schoolwork at hugely different stages, keep on top of a house full of mess because everyone was home, not let dc know I was scared their dad might die, and also look after 3 of the 4 dc who also had covid symptoms for a few days each.
I’m now back at work (nhs). A bit of normality is great but I’m conscious of the risks, guilty for being there for dc less and getting even less done at home.
I miss shopping for food more than once every few weeks, feeling safe and being able to go out for a walk anywhere but our city streets.
I see nothing preferable in either situation.

Ive also been working full time throughout, DH is WFH. Im glad ive been able to keep to a somewhat normal routine and that ive been able to adjust to the new norm. Selfishly i dont want people to come back out, im enjoying the quick commute and less customers in my store means less stress. People have on the whole been respectful of the social distancing, one way etc that has been in place and are more tolerable of others. When people start to come back to work and we get busier i doubt it will feel as peaceful.

Many people on furlough will not have jobs to go back to.

Where has the narrative come from that furloughed people are the lucky ones? Surely anyone furloughed is more at risk of losing their job?

20% of your salary is a LOT to lose. I don't know why anyone would think that was better than working.