So low tonight I can’t cope

[Worriedmum999]

I have no idea why I am posting this but I feel quite desperate tonight. I am sitting upstairs on my bed literally petrified about the future. We had such lovely plans for this year. A holiday at Easter and getting a puppy in a few weeks. Neither of those happening now obviously.

I have had a few years of good mental health after a rough period from teens to late twenties and then again after 8 miscarriages before finally having my 2 children who are now 9 and 7 and my world. For years I felt as if I had somehow cheated nature and they would be taken away from me so I became over anxious everytime they were ill. The last 2 years have been great as these feelings finally settled down. And now this.

I’m massively overweight. Completely my own fault and not helped by years of depression and being almost constantly pregnant for the best part of 5 years. I’ve been trying to focus on getting my bMI from 45 to 40 as a starting point but everything I read now just highlights that fat is fat and if I get this virus I’ll die.

I’m petrified of going out. Luckily we have a big garden so the children have been playing out a lot but we haven’t been out. I disinfect all shopping, quarantine post etc. And it’s exhausting. Then reading that everyone will get it anyway so I’m just putting off the dying by a few months. I’m honestly tempted to just go somewhere and catch it and be done with it. I honestly think that would be better than the waiting to die. It’s like when I got pregnant. Over time the miscarriages came as a weird sort of relief rather than a life waiting for something terrible to happen. The actual pregnancies that survived were hell on Earth and completely traumatising as I waited to lose them every day for 10 months.

I’ve been putting on a brave positive face for the children but I’m at the end now. I’m so sad for them. All their friends and school gone, their clubs gone, their holiday and their puppy. And soon I’ll be gone. I would never have had them if I’d have known they would have to go through probably losing their mum so young.

Actually I really second yoga with adrienne. I do it every day and I was so not a yoga person before.

Naturally it takes some mental work to get to that point and this is not me having a pop at the op but I do get very frustrated with posters peddling low carb diets.

I have kept over 6 stone off long term thanks to it. The FB low carbing community I'm part of has lots of similar stories. I don't eat low low carb these days, I eat fruit and things like sweet potato to make it more sustainable. But it is really healthy and for me it has reduced my sugar cravings by about 95%. My skin is better, my blood test results are all improved, I get less aches and pains. Lots report similar.

The OP has to find the right diet for her but low carbing has masses of health benefits. It's not a fad. I'm saying that as someone who used to call it a fad and unsustainable. I was wrong. Dr Jason Fung the Diet Doctor are respected medical experts and they support it. As do many other doctors and scientists.

The diet doctor is most certainly not a respected medical expert.

I have never heard of Jason Fung so I cannot comment on him.

@Elmerrrrr - It's fine that you aren't interested/can't be bothered to watch a 5 minute video by Jason Fung. But perhaps the OP would like to know more about the effect of insulin on fat storage and how eating low GI foods prevents insulin spikes.
By the way, I doubt you followed any responsible low carb diet in the past. If you did, you'd know that it doesn't 'cut out a whole food group'. People on low carb diets still eat vegetables (some fit in more than before) and moderate amounts of berries and apples. Increasing the type and amount of fruit and veg after achieving weight loss. Unless you think processed low fibre wheat products and sugar is a food group??

HoyaFlower I wasn’t trying to scare anybody. The last calculations from the World Health Organization (arguably the most important source of data) had the case fatality rate at 3-4%, you can find it online. Of course it is lower if you are younger but the overall rate is above 1% and that’s what I was answering initially. The obesity research has been published repeatedly with one of the biggest studies (around 17,000 people with Covid) coming from Imperial college. I am very sympathetic to the OP, she is having an awful time as are millions of others. And I really wish her well and hope she can get some help from her GP. OP, you sound lovely with two beautiful children, you can get through this

I am exactly the same anxiety is through the roof please don't think you are alone xxx
Ps I have a high bmi too so trying to lose weight but it is hard

By the way, I doubt you followed any responsible low carb diet in the past. If you did, you'd know that it doesn't 'cut out a whole food group'. People on low carb diets still eat vegetables (some fit in more than before) and moderate amounts of berries and apples. Increasing the type and amount of fruit and veg after achieving weight loss. Unless you think processed low fibre wheat products and sugar is a food group??

I did, and I was an avid devotee of the low carb boot camp threads on this very website in fact.

It encourages an unhealthy attitude and fear of certain types of food. Like a blooming banana ffs.

I will die on this hill I'm afraid

So you followed a MN low carb high fat diet for 8-10 weeks and then did the recommended maintenance. Which food group did you cut out in those phases?

If you include all age groups including people in their 80s it's going to be higher, but that's not relevant or helpful to the op who is clearly younger. The op is trying to lose weight but she isn't going to be able to get into the healthy range instantly, so she needs help getting the risks into perspective rather than dire warnings without any actual figures to back it up.

Diana you don't need to patronise me, I'm not an idiot. I'm simply someone who followed low carb high fat diets for a pretty long time (strict, moderate and then maintenance if you must know), and I'm simply not OK with a diet which frowns upon pasta, bread and potatoes. I work with sufferers of eating disorders and the whole low carb rhetoric (along with "clean eating" and many other dieta) is a huge contributing factor.

I don't wish to derail the thread. But I could go on about this all day.

My point is that you rubbished a way of eating that helps a lot of people (particularly in middle age - menopause - hormonal changes stages of life). If a diet eliminates sugar and reduces processed white carbs which are high-GI, then that to me is a good thing. You rubbished it, even though people on maintenance eat creamy celeraic mash, sweet potatoes, roast celeriac chips, moderate amounts of wholewheat pasta, seeded flatbread and courgetti. That doesn't equal deprivation and trigger disordered eating.

Adventurine, I think we can all agree the death rate - even overall - is small! But it’s not 1% which is what the original poster said and which I responded to. I feel like this thread has got really nasty, it would be nice to support the OP, which I’ve actually done on every single post

You rubbished it, even though people on maintenance eat creamy celeraic mash, sweet potatoes, roast celeriac chips, moderate amounts of wholewheat pasta, seeded flatbread and courgetti.

Yeah. I like celeriac, I like courgetti, I like sweet potatoes but please let us not pretend they're a patch on actual potatoes or actual pasta.

Crack on if it works for you (it will work for anyone, it is calorie deficit) but for me living that way long term was not sustainable and was harmful to my relationship with food.

I'm already a good cook and have always cooked everything from scratch and eaten loads of veggies, which I love. A lot of people on those low carb threads are people who clearly don't cook and who eat a lot of processed shite, so I'm not surprised being encouraged to eat more vegetables and drop the supermarket pizza helped them.

Also, as an Italian, I cannot be doing with wholewheat pasta.

I don't wish to derail the thread. But I could go on about this all day.

This is a support thread for someone who is clearly struggling pretty badly. Do you think maybe it's not the place for a chat about the evils of low carb dieting? Plenty of other places you can share your thoughts about that. I'm sure the OP can read the evidence and has the intelligence to make her own mind up. I am not of the opinion it's a way of eating that suits everyone. Personally I gain and gain if I eat bread/rice/pasta. I also tip into experiencing severe cravings. I'd love not to! But IF and low carbing have changed my life and my health for the better. Michael Moseley is a supporter of both.

And the Diet Doctor - he's a medical doctor. He is respected and has changed a lot of lives. The low carb bootcamp on here, I'm not the biggest fan of, just because I think it's too restrictive so I'm not a passionate advocate of that. Like you I don't think too much restriction is helpful. Any changes to your food intake have to be sustainable.

I think this thread has diverted a little from its original purpose... @Worriedmum, how has today been? It's great that you have set yourself the goal of reducing your BMI. Of course being overweight increases the risks but even so, the mortality rate is not excessively high for younger age groups. I would try not to read the news more than once a day, do some exercise as much to lift your mood as for weight loss, and look carefully into online or telephone counselling. You have come on in leaps and bounds by the sounds of things.

Look forward to the things you have planned (what sort of puppy have you had your eye on?!) and enjoy the time at home with your kids as much as you can. Eight miscarriages is a hell of a journey to have been on. You will get through this too.

OP, I wondered if you felt any better today.

I think the suggestion of talking to a GP was a good one. I actually find it a lot better over the phone than face to face when talking about mental health issues!