How do I stay calm when so many either have coronaphobia or are enjoying lockdown too much?

[awaywiththecircus]

Out for a walk last night and saw a neighbour who’s furloughed. She took pleasure in saying what a great time she’s having and hoping things carry on like this for a lot longer yet. She doesn’t think she should go back to work anytime soon as she has to meet people face to face and she doesn’t want to catch it. She’s in her 30s, slim and white.
Get back and speak to SIL who won’t be sending dnephew to school if they open in June ‘because children are dying too’ I’m getting so annoyed at the attitude of so many stupid people and it’s like banging my head against a brick wall. I feel like I’ve lost all control of my life and it’s going to carry on forever. Does anyone else know what I mean?

Furlough bashing again.

I'd go back to work tomorrow if I could and I'd send DS back to school. I might not have a job at the end of this so I'm going to look for joy in whatever I can. @felineflutter "treating it like a holiday" so what do you want us to do then, lock ourselves in our houses and self flagellate every day to make you feel better? No thanks, I'm going to try and make the most of a bad situation.

THIS THREAD IS NOT BASH AT FURLOUGHED.
It’s about attitudes moving forward from lockdown.

@awaywiththecircus would you rather people all sat around miserable? People have to find happiness where they can and it won't be an option to "find and excuse". If she doesn't want to go back when her furlough ends then I imagine she won't have a job. I'm not sure what your problem is.

All those people doing the pandemic wrong.

Whether or not your neighbour wants to go back to work or not doesn’t have any bearing on you or what you want.

The same with your sil regarding school.

Your wants and worries and opinions are no more and no less valid than theirs but you can’t have a tantrum because your thoughts and feelings and universally shared.

What you, or they, or I want or think isn’t what’s going to dictate government actions. Yes, we’re all at the mercy of decisions that are made on our behalf and that’s hard to live with - but your frustrations are misplaced.

People will use this thread as an excuse to furlough bash though, it's already started.

I don't think your neighbour will have a say in when furlough ends so what does it matter? It will end at some point, she will have to go back to work or lose the pay. It won't be her decision and it won't be the general public's decision as to when furlough ends and lockdown ends.

OP Yes I do know what you mean. It feels like a lonely place to be, but actually there are plenty of us who feel the same way. We're perhaps just not as vocal.

@DCITennison I think I’m worried that if enough people oppose coming out of lockdown for the reasons I’ve said above the government will be forced to comply.

I'm furloughed on 80% of my wages. Contrary to what people think I'm actually scared to enjoy it because I know the rug will be pulled out from under my feet at any moment. I'm trying to keep busy and save up as much money as possible just in case I don't get my job back at the end of this.

It was a delicate balance for the government - they have to make people fearful enough of the virus to take it seriously and respect lockdown, but also not so fearful that people won’t go back out and interact when restrictions permit.

I think they’ve gone too far in favour of the former. It is a very scary virus, and it’s not unreasonable to be scared, but I don’t think a lot of people are now realistic in their expectations (not talking about furloughed people - good luck to them and I hope as many as possible keep their jobs )

awaywiththecircus Come and join us on the dementor thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3901688-Dementors-Begone . It’s little oasis of calm rational thinking and humour.

@RoosterPie I agree and media are still fuelling it. I just don’t know how we move on.

Being worried about this virus isn't stupid. It's the people who aren't worried that are the stupid ones.

That's a matter of opinion.

I'm with you op. Our gov are too cowardly to go against public opinion incase it looses them voters.

As long as the cowering masses are shouting that they want to be locked inside their homes, and the happy unaffect people (those comfortable wfh or on furlough with a job to go back to.) join in with calls for longer lockdown because they're having a jolly - this lockdown with continue in name at least (restrictions have clearly been laxed without it being openly said).

My whole family have had covid. It is a mild illness. Children are not dying. You can count how many have died on one hand. A small amount of children have had immune system responses that have landed them in hospital. Not all of them had covid and it is a condition that can affect any child at any time. It could be because they are being locked up in badly ventilated homes with mold and mothers bleaching everything in sight - we don't know.

It's laziness hidden behind a false front of righteous fear.

Furlough for many has become corona-lodging.
They'll stop as soon as the money stops.

And this is exactly why conscription exists.

Have you considered minding your own business, and not being so judgemental about everybody who isn't you? I don't subscribe to the coronaphobia and never have. But I don't consider that to be any cause to call everyone stupid, nor to get wound up about it at all. You are being intolerant and judgemental. Being overly frightened or overly cautious may be mildly irritating traits at times. Being intolerant and judgemental are nasty traits all of the time.

To be clear, that isn't all furloughed - it's the ones with no/minor health conditions loudly resisting any attempts to get them back to work which exists and is ready to accept them.

I have huge sympathy for those with no work to go to, that will be terrifying.

It is a very scary virus

Ebola is scary
Leprosy is scary
Rabies is scary

Covid 19 is not scary. It's a virus that is mild for 80% of the population and even the vast majority of those badly effected will still recover.

So your worried the government wont do what you want?

Basically.

But what you want isnt necessarily the right thing. Everyone has their own wants, fears and needs. These wont always overlap with one another but it doesnt mean people are wrong for thinking one thing over the other. People arent stupid because they dont agree with you.

You dont have the right to control what others think about the situation.

Op it is perfectly understandable to feel really disturbed by this situation. It is unprecedented and its really hard to imagine what going back to normal, or a new version of normal, is going to be like. That has bugger all to do with your neighbour who is "enjoying" furlough, lots of people are finding pleasure in spending time at home with their families. I am a key worker so is DH we are both working from home. I am as busy as ever. I have a son who is not sitting his GCSE exams over the next few weeks. 3 children who are working hard at home and looking forward to returning to school.

But the fact that some people are making the most of an enforced break and may resist a speedy return is not really shocking. I will find it difficult after not being physically in my office for 8 weeks now. I know it will be difficult. I also have an underlying condition that may make me more vulnerable to Covid19 so going back to a job that demands a lot of contact with the public (I work for an advice charity) is a little bit risky. Some people are lazy and will continue to be lazy, some people are desperate to get back into work and display a very cavalier attitude to the risks they will expose themselves and others to! So I think empathy towards the great variety of responses that people will have to the demands of the coming months, will be very important.

I am speaking to clients who have lost loved ones very suddenly to Covid19, people who have no money, people who are desperate to get out of an abusive relationship but are trapped by lockdown. People who feel their employers don't care about them or their safety. This is a crisis, the fact that some people can still get enjoyment from the situation is a 'good thing'.

Btw I had loads of paragraphs but stupid app does not keep them

I think part of the issue is that we don't know what the longer term future looks like. People will respond to what they think is just around the corner and every small change will bring a new wave of anxiety and differences of opinion.

In a few months, we will all have become used to a normal that is new to some extent. We may end up with a successful vaccination programme, or not. We may never start shaking hands again. We may make changes to education. Whatever it is, we will soon get used to it and the anxiety will drop.

If, in the meantime, people need to make plans that they feel will keep their families safer, that's OK. I don't imagine many will still be choosing to shield without good reason by this time next year.

FWIW, my whole family can either work or be educated from home for the foreseeable future so that's what we plan to do. I know someone fit and healthy of my own age who has died despite huge efforts by the NHS to save them and I'd like to reduce the chances of that happening to me, even though I know they are small in the first place.

That doesn't mean I'm enjoying lockdown too much or over reacting. I'm just using the information available to me to make the decisions I think are best for my family right now.

Things will change around me and more information will become available and I might make some different decisions in the future.

It's OK for some people to enjoy lockdown and it's OK for some people to decide to isolate a bit more than they have to.

Two adults make comments/decisions about their lives which have zero impact on yours yet result in you banging your head against a brick wall. Why? Are you jealous of one or both? I can't think of any other reason.

So to summarize, you are banging your head against the wall because people are stupid while asking us to remember that people get sick from other viruses and we don’t close down the country.

Do you write speeches for Trump in your spare time?

It could be because they are being locked up in badly ventilated homes with mold and mothers bleaching everything in sight - we don't know.

I've been cleaning more, not particularly because of corona virus but more because I've got a messy 4 year old having all his meals at home rather than nursery and my hayfever/allergies have been terrible this year.