Private Nursery Babies & Toddlers, Your experiences & views

[MrsP2015]

Just wrote and lost a massive post so this will be very basic --as I'm pissed off it's all been lost

Under 4's at private nurseries,

• will you be sending your under 4's back if they re open in June? *what's your reasons for/ against your decision? (Work/ child's development etc)

I can't find information on this anywhere but am keen to hear views.
I can see reasons for/ against so am on the fence right now. All my friends are keeping off if they reopen in June (all at different nurseries but same area) as we have had a very high rate of coronavirus.

I personally wouldn't want nursery to try and introduce any social distancing from other kids or the staff, I think this could be damaging when they are just learning to play together, share etc but would be happy for seating to be more spread out for example (not sure how as rooms have at least 20 kids in them so space is tight)

What's your thoughts?
Interested in hearing from childcare workers as well as parents- not here to judge and couldn't care less if you need nursery open so you can sit watching tv in peace
Just opinions and thoughts/ experiences please.

DD is two and usually goes to nursery full-time. We'll be sending her back once they open, she loves it there. We can wfh so we're willing to accept the risk of one member of the household going out for the day. We're hoping the easing allows us to meet up with grandparents first though.

Social distancing won't happen between the children. It'll be extra cleaning, reduced hours, no parents in the building etc.

DD was due to start in June, just 1.5 days a week. She doesn't strictly need to go, but by the time nursery reopens for everyone I think I will send her as it's a very small and lovely setting and I think will be good for her and she'll have fun. I am in Scotland so I imagine it might differ for us up here, but I'm going to trust that if they reopen then it's safe to send her (and I'm not really worried about her getting it, more her bringing it home and one of us getting ill, but we have no risk factors so we can't live in fear).

My H is a keyworker so we still have access to my sons private nursery (he's almost 3).

I am currently working from home, and whilst it's really hard to entertain him whilst I work, we've made the decision to keep him home with me instead of sending him in.

I just feel like it's unnecessary contact

I’m a nurse in A&E. My husband works with the homeless. We’ve both been at work, full time, social distancing has obviously not been possible.

Our DS has been in nursery from the outset, more than normal actually as older DM has been unwell and I felt it best my DS went to one childcare place.
I feel severely let down by our nursery. They closed, despite a need for key workers children to attend, there was at least 5 children. So we had to move DS, thankfully it’s been fine, but my god that was a stressful week or so.
There has been no social distancing between children/staff at the nursery and that’s as it should be IMO.
He won’t be going back to his original nursery, they’re going to make room at the new one, can’t risk going through it all again with a second lock down.

We aren't going to be able to both wfh with two under 4s until there is a vaccine so we'll go for it as soon as nursery returns

I don't think I'll be sending my 3yo back in June. He loves his nursery and does really well there, but I think June is still a bit soon and I'm still worried about catching the virus. I'm in the at risk category and don't do well with illnesses in that I would likely have to be hospitalised should I catch it. Luckily my son is generally happy at home and luckily I quit my job right before lockdown so I can dedicate a lot of time to entertaining him.

I would love for him to go back though because I know he misses his friends.

My DS is 2. He goes to an excellent private day nursery, full time, and is really missing it. I have been furloughed for lack of work during pandemic but equally because the work that was available I struggled to do whilst caring for him.

I fully intend to send him back when I can, I feel the risk is low. The nursery will not do social distancing with children but have strict cleaning routines and will social distance pick up and drop off.

Like schools, I think nurseries will return in stages. Ours have continued to provide childcare for children where both parents (or 1 lone parent) are key workers. Next week they are opening to children where just 1 parent is a key worker. Then I suspect they will open to four year olds who will start school in september to support them with transition. Then I imagine those who have 30 free hours and 15 free hours. Unfortunately that does mean my poor lad is at the bottom of the list!

Oh and we are in a low risk area a d the nursery has had no children or staff taken ill so far during their limited opening during lock down.

I'm of the 'have to learn to live with it' form of opinion though.

I will definitely be bringing my son back to nursery. He misses his friends, he has various behavioural
issues we were on the way to being referred for pre-lockdown (not sure that will ever happen now) and DH and I need a break or we will all fall apart very soon. DH has lost his job, I have a job I can’t do from home, and I can’t risk losing it by refusing childcare once it’s available. None of us has health conditions. I am desperate for nursery to open again soon.

I really don't know. DD is 18 months and normally does 2 days a week. She loves nursery, really thrives there, and it would definitely benefit her to have a change of scenery. I am WFH, and whilst it is in no way ideal, we are just about managing to juggle childcare and DH work. I would really want her to go back but I just don't know. If we are allowed to see family again, I would rather she spent a day a week with grandparents (both youngish, no health issues) for a change of scenery, that to me seems less risky.

Haven't decided until I hear about how it will work. But as DS is due to start school on September I'm worried about him missing the structure, socialising etc for so long. Plus he's on screens and not getting much attention at home because the baby is so demanding.

My daughter is a nursery nurse, currently furloughed. She’s dreading going back too soon as I’m in the shielding Category so very high risk. She’s said there’s no way they can social distance at all In nursery and she’s worried about bringing it home to me.

My two never left nursery. There is no attempt at social distancing between children or between children and staff. That would be both horrible and unworkable.

They have measures in place about pick up and drop off so we now do that in the hallway, not in the actual rooms to limit contact between parents and between parents and staff.

My youngest is 2. Yes, I would send him back to nursery when they re-open. I am vulnerable, so I would limit my contact with other adults on pick up and drop off. But I have an older one in primary school. If she is going back to school, then there is no real advantage to keeping him off too. As he could just get it from her bringing it home. I also work full time and it's manageable enough getting some work done when I have both of them home because she can play with him and get him snacks, etc. It would be really hard to work with just him home.

But I would be limiting my own contact with other adults at pick up and drop off for both of them. Realistically, there will be another wave later in the year (I work in public health, so it's pretty clear to me and we are planning for it). I can't keep them both off indefinitely and I'd rather them have the benefit of some interaction with others when it's safest to do so, before schools and nurseries likely close again in a few months. We are also moving house over the summer, so I'd like them to have a chance to see their friends again (mostly older one) before we move away and they have to say goodbye.

I’ll be throwing my daughter through the door! She desperately needs some normality & time away from her baby sister who is zapping all our attention! She’s not played with another child for 8 weeks & is really feeling it. She asks why no-one wants to play with her anymore 😭 and points to every child we walk past and asks if she can play with them..

Across the world, a tiny tiny amount of children have died. Of that tiny number, 99% of those had underlying conditions. It doesn’t affect children badly at all. Most are asymptomatic. The rest get at worst, bad cold like symptoms. I don’t worry about my children getting it at all.. no more than I worry about them getting flu, colds, measles etc! I don’t really know why people are so worried.. obviously there are cases where it does turn nasty in previously fit & healthy children but equally, this happens with every childhood illness. My friends kid ended up in ICU from chickenpox (thankfully recovered) and my colleagues kid developed sepsis from a cold/virus. I deem the risk from corona in children similarly. I don’t shield my child from those illness in the event it might turn horrible. And obviously, I’m not talking about those with underlying or with vulnerable parents, siblings etc, rather those who have an entirely fit & well family.

As for social distancing, I’d rather she didn’t have too but I’m confident nursery will make it as normal as possible. They’ll probably pop them into small groups & rotate areas they can play in. I don’t think my 3 year old will find that overly traumatic..

Of course I will! And I’ll throw a little Solo party to celebrate! There is minimal risk to him, us and anyone else in our household. He loves it and gets loads from it. If there is such a big risk to staff then they shouldn’t be opening. We all know you can’t get three year olds to social distance. I bet they’ve all had it anyway!

Nursery I work at shut because not enough key children to be worth it.
Not sure how they'll reopen if be staggered or be all together but sure theres a plan in place.
Social distancing with children wont happen. Not expecting it to. You cant social distance under 1s and even older ones be hard.
We're also not just going to leave children to cry or social distance from them. They'll still get cuddles and whatever they need. They've been away for 2 months they'll need it to help settle back.
Just be how we were lots of cleaning involved

I need to work full-time so one-year-old DD will be going in. She's also boisterous and bored and I think she'll thrive in a nursery setting, once she's settled in. I'm hoping we can wfh for longer/more often to skip the commute so she can have shorter days, though.

We're low-risk, and everyone will get it eventually. I would maintain distance from vulnerable family members, though, with her in nursery and unable to socially distance.

But it depends on what my nursery chooses to do: it closed even to key workers to protect staff, so who knows how quickly it will reopen or at what levels.

Gosh so many replies!

Everyone seems so level headed and has valid reasons for keeping home/ sending back.

So from what I've read,

I actually think nurseries should firstly have the oldest group back first so the ones die to start school in September have got some routine and friendships back- but would nurseries do this as the majority will be funded children? I genuinely don't know how it works yet.

I also think allow back the other ones who need it first, such as for work reasons or mums with a new baby / more than one child. Also those who are genuinely struggling.

I think the nursery should allow without fully charging/ losing child's place, for parents who want to and can keep their dc at home to do so.

"would nurseries do this as the majority will be funded children?"

I'm really hoping that childcare providers are still getting the government funding for the children who are entitled to it, even while they are closed. They still have overheads, after all. I read that the funding was suspended in Scotland but I'm not sure about England, Wales and NI?

We were due to get 30h funding from 1st April which we obviously haven't benefited from yet. But even with the funding we still had to pay a small top-up to the nursery for meals. We were also going to use more than 30h/w so we would have paid for the extra hours. I guess many parents would be in the same position.

I expect that if they reopen it will still be financially beneficial for them!

"I also think allow back the other ones who need it first, such as for work reasons or mums with a new baby / more than one child. Also those who are genuinely struggling."
This would be impossible to determine. It has to be the current children (vulnerable children and children of key workers), children of a certain age ie about to go to primary, or all children. You can't have a wishy washy policy like "children of parents who are struggling". Those who are not struggling may choose not to send their children back anyway, even if they have the option to send them.

@NameChange30 yes I get what you mean.
We were offered to keep dc in nursery as dh is a keyworker so I think in my mind I'm coming from the angle where I'd let a mum with a newborn (no key worker dp) to take my dc's place... I think? I don't know actually because if this limited number went on long term and I couldn't put my dc in for months and months I wouldn't be happy! However can't really say when not in the position.

And hopefully the nurseries will still all get their funded kids payed for then.

I also think allow back the other ones who need it first, such as for work reasons or mums with a new baby / more than one child to be fair this will be pretty much be most people who already use a private nursery.

I’ve already made a simile thread a few days ago.

Yes I will be sending my 3.5 year old back to nursery. I am not concerned about them catching COVID. I am more concerned about what they are missing out on socially and genera day to day stimulation during lockdown,

It’s also impossible for me to return to work from mat leave without childcare.

I don’t like the concept of a nanny or childminder. I prefer a nursery setting if anyone other than me is looking after my child, for a number of reasons.

"I'd let a mum with a newborn (no key worker dp) to take my dc's place"

But it wouldn't be for you to decide, it would be for the nursery to decide who gets places and who doesn't.

Our nursery offered us a place (because I'm a key worker) but then had to close anyway because there were only 9 children eligible for places and most parents declined.

I expect that if and when nurseries reopen, they will benefit from having more children (as opposed to limited numbers) because it will make it more financially viable.

I expect that nurseries will continue to struggle if they are allowed to reopen for all children but parents continue to keep the children home. In that case I expect that unless there is a strong reason (ie child or member of household shielding) the parents might be asked to pay a retainer or lose the place.

Yes I'd be more than happy to pay towards keeping the place and choosing not to send dc in.

I worry that if dc is offered a place, if I chose to decline they would expect full pay for her which in honesty I think they would actually be in their rights to do... roll on Sunday so we all have an idea eh?!