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Original poster

Inequality in lockdown

71 replies

BaconandWaffles · 03/05/2020 15:47

I see lots of threads and comments about how lockdown isn’t so bad, or that it’s actually enjoyable. Usually by posters staying at home with their partners and children, with no financial worries because their partners earn good wages and can work from home. There’s lots of “let’s all just get on with it” and “it’ll be over soon enough” and “we’re all in this together.” But we’re not all in this together, are we?

My friends who are freelance workers have no money coming in until next month and they’re panicked. Others work in hospitality and have no idea if their jobs will ever come back. I live alone and it is soul destroying - my depression was under control before this and now I have no idea if I’ll ever recover. Can all of you calling for longer lockdown and denouncing anyone who wants some restrictions lifted (some! Not pubs open or arena concerts happening!) think about why other people might be finding it difficult, and try to find some empathy? I’m sick of seeing people typing “get a grip” to posters who are struggling so much they’re suicidal. Use your imaginations and realise that for some people, catching and even dying of this virus is preferable to being locked down for months.

OP posts:
kingis · 03/05/2020 15:51

I can't wait this lock down to finish. I need to have some time alone. We are all at home comfortable but there is no moment of peace for me. My mental health is ok for a moment but I can't wait dc to go back to school.

Breastfeedingworries · 03/05/2020 15:53

I need it to be over too. I have zero help with my dd 17 months. Her fathers mum is high risk so he can’t have her. I really miss friends and family.

If some rules are lifted my dd can stay with family friends so I can get a break. I’m going mad. :(

WorraLiberty · 03/05/2020 15:56

I’m sick of seeing people typing “get a grip” to posters who are struggling so much they’re suicidal.

Have you actually seen people typing this to posters who have said they're suicidal?

If so, you should report them. That's disgusting.

Other than that, lockdown is of course unequal as is life.

savehalloween · 03/05/2020 16:01

worra quite literally saw this on a thread yesterday. A woman with a SEN child and a controlling husband, who was having suicidal thoughts due to lockdown and was told to dig deep and get on with it Sad

WorraLiberty · 03/05/2020 16:07

savehalloween that's just bloody awful.

savehalloween · 03/05/2020 16:09

Lockdown has to end. I think people in their happy bubble at the moment don't quite realise that this isn't real life.

We can take some of the positive aspects with us but even for the most content at the moment, the novelty would wear off.

I'm somewhere in the middle. A freelancer who's business is in the bin and who isn't entitled to the government help. But we are ok as my husband's job is secure and can be done from home.

Whilst lockdown has shown me a slower pace of life is nice, I long to get back to normal and back to work.

I think reality will hit for many when lockdown is eased. Some seem to think they can continue to be furloughed or not send their kids to school, but I imagine support will be removed as a soon as it's perceived as no longer needed. And without that support, their lockdown will look a lot less appealing.

PumpkinP · 03/05/2020 16:15

I keep reading threads of people loving lockdown and I just can’t relate to it at all! It makes me feel odd for not loving it as so many seem to. But I’ve noticed most of them seem to have husbands and are well off so enjoy spending time together. Or enjoying a break from work and being home with the kids but I’m a single mum and not working so this isn’t a novelty to me, I’m really finding it stressful and feel bad for not “loving it”

tabulahrasa · 03/05/2020 16:31

I think lockdown is shit - I’m self employed, my job is basically gone, I hate hanging round my house with two stressed students trying to work out how and if they graduate... it’s not a nice wee holiday at home.

But I don’t want restrictions lifted too early either - stuffed if I’ve gone through all that just for restrictions to be lifted too early and all we’ve done is delayed it all.

Spanneroo · 03/05/2020 16:32

Agreed. I am having a very difficult time at the moment, with a 5yo, 2yo and very new twins. 2 bed flat with no garden, which we were supposed to move out of but it fell through due to corona. DH is working ridiculous hours because he works in supply chain at one of the big retailers.

The babies mean I am averaging 3 hours of broken sleep each night. I don't stop at all, all day every day. Going out was what kept me sane before lockdown. Going for a walk just doesn't cut it with such young babies and a toddler - we can't be out for long and it's difficult to get a toddler to walk enough to get tired compared to going to a park or setting up for a picnic somewhere.

On top of the incredibly tough job of the babies and the toddler, I also have to homeschool the 5yo. I cannot be stretched this thin for much longer without snapping. I genuinely wish I had aborted these babies, despite how much I love them.

When I expressed how hard I was finding it on a thread, someone said "well in Singapore they can't even go out because it has been too hot" and that I should "count myself lucky" like that makes this any better.

That attitude is incredibly unhelpful.

Lovely1a2b3c · 03/05/2020 16:54

My personal situation in lockdown is fine and perhaps even preferable to normal life but I do understand that life is very different for lots of people. I can imagine living in a high rise flat; with DV or totally alone or with someone who is disabled/has challenging behaviour would be terrible!

Lovely1a2b3c · 03/05/2020 16:56
  • I didn't explain that well... by 'disabled' I meant requiring personal care that they cannot receive and trying to manage those needs.
Lovely1a2b3c · 03/05/2020 16:56

*I am disabled to all intents-and-purposes but don't identify as disabled.

Lostvoiced · 03/05/2020 16:59

I'm broke and have MH issues and I'm still concerned about the lockdown ending. It's not a simple matter.

Lockdown is causing me stress, but I know we have to do what's best for all of us right now. And while I have enough to get by at the moment, the knowledge that other people dont just makes me pissed at the government rather than wanting the lockdown to end earlier.

I dont know that anyone is having an easy time right now.

Bigfishylittlefishy · 03/05/2020 17:12

I’m spending lock down with my husband and kids, no financial worries and the main problem we have is being a bit bored here and there. I am certainly not one of those who wants lockdown to be extended, and totally realise this situation is desperate for people. This needs to end.

LilyPond2 · 03/05/2020 17:27

The current situation has opened up all sorts of new divides in our society, eg those who can work from home/those who can't; those who have gardens/those who don't, and, in particular, those who would stand a decent chance of recovering quickly from Covid-19/those for whom the risk of death is significant.
Re the isolation of those living alone, I think a reasonably sensible relaxation would be to allow those living alone (and also adults with only v young children for company) to nominate one other nearby household with whom they would then be allowed to socialise. The nomination would have be for a minimum length of time so that people didn't abuse the system by repeatedly changing their "nominee".

Original poster
BaconandWaffles · 03/05/2020 17:28

@Spanneroo and everyone else who is also struggling - I’m so sorry and I’m hoping for all of our sakes that this ends soon.

OP posts:
Original poster
BaconandWaffles · 03/05/2020 17:32

I agree that allowing people who live alone to nominate another household or even one person to mix with would help hugely for people in my situation. But there are other people struggling for many other reasons as can be read up thread, and they’ve also been forgotten in all of this.

OP posts:
TabbyMumz · 03/05/2020 18:32

"Usually by posters staying at home with their partners and children, with no financial worries because their partners earn good wages and can work from home."
Why do you presume it's the partner earning good money?

TabbyMumz · 03/05/2020 18:40

"Use your imaginations and realise that for some people, catching and even dying of this virus is preferable to being locked down for months."
I'm sorry but I see that as a bit selfish. Most people who might want the lockdown to be longer, are generally considering the public's health in general, in that the longer we lockdown, the safer people will be.

BeforeIPutOnMyMakeup · 03/05/2020 18:54

People who live alone could have moved into another household or got someone to move in with them for lockdown. I know some people who have done that. In a couple of cases people have moved in to provide personal care to someone.

PumpkinP · 03/05/2020 18:56

Wow you must be aware that not everyone is fortunate enough to actually have anyone they can move in with or who would move in with them Hmm

Mumshappy · 03/05/2020 19:01

Ive seen it numerous times on here. People loving spending time with husband and dds. No financial worries and loads of outdoor space. Have wondered whether they are boasting or just dont get it.

BakedCam · 03/05/2020 19:09

Inequality is with us constantly and the divide is wide in the current situation. In day to day life, particularly when economics are mentioned and the UK is viewed as a 'developed' economy, those narratives hide the inequalities many people experience.

Because this is national response to the virus, those inequalities become visible and particularly on forums where some people do describe their lives in what would only be viewed as fortunate by those who are experiencing inequalities.

Then, we can look at social and economic capital. Those are the assets that are used to bridge the inequalities. With an economic downturn, the UK is going to have more of a divide between the rich and poor, because it is those worth social and economic capital that will survive. Those that have generational inequalities (and that does happen particularly in former industrial areas where the means of production was high), the social and cultural capital doesn't exist as much so the inequalities remain. This 'lockdown' had revealed this and it is ugly.

TabbyMumz · 03/05/2020 19:11

"Ive seen it numerous times on here. People loving spending time with husband and dds. No financial worries and loads of outdoor space."
Omg. Absolute bast**ds arent they!? Cant you just be happy for people?

Rainb0wDrops · 03/05/2020 19:15

Completely agree. I read something the other day that summed it up for me.
People who say we're all in the same boat are wrong. We're all in the same storm but we have very different boats.
People forget that everyone has their own challenges and circumstances that make lockdown easier or harder than for others.

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