Taking Babies on Walks Safe?

[SLMater]

Hello,

I wanted to canvas opinion as to whether I should intervene and say something to my friend about the fact she is still is taking her five-month-old baby out for a walk everyday in London despite the Coronavirus lockdown.

She has a large house and garden, no other children (so she's not accompanying older kids to the park or anything) and a husband she could leave the baby with if she felt she still wanted to take the risk and go out for a walk. Instead, she insists on taking the baby with her every day.

I am a parent myself of teenage offspring, so I have been there and I do sympathise with people who have toddlers/young children and are living in a flat without a garden who need to burn off some steam. But to take a small innocent baby outside who has no say in the matter just seems unnecessarily selfish.

Studies have proven the virus is airborne, can stay in the air for up to three hours, is worse in urban areas, attaches to air pollution and can be spread by people jogging as far as five metres away. It's surely no coincidence that the U.K. tragically has one of the highest death counts per capita in the world when the government is still allowing people to go out every day to shops and parks? (By comparison, in Greece, for instance, people have to text the local police station for permission to leave the house for any reason whatsoever and, as a result, there have been only 150 deaths from Covid 19.)

I feel so worried that my friend keeps putting her baby at risk like this. I've sent her articles on studies about the dangers of going out, which she seemingly has chosen to ignore. Do you think I should say something more direct to her or do I just have to stand back and watch her do this?

Thanks for your thoughts!

You sound crazy. She can take her baby for a bloody walk. I take my four month out for a walk most days, why wouldn't I?!

It's a walk, I don't take my children into shops or anywhere with lots of people as I get there is a slight risk there, but a walk?! Don't be daft.

Showering after working in a covid ward is not the same as showering after a stroll in the park. One is massively high risk the other isn't.

It is far worse for the baby not to have any fresh air or vitamin D. I have a 7 month old and we go out most days. You have no idea what it's like to be living in lockdown with a baby. It's like groundhog day.

YABVU to imply that your friend is a bad parent putting her baby at risk. She's doing nothing of the sort.

I'm a scientist. Studies don't generally 'prove' anything and scientists are usually careful to avoid that word.

Science reporting in the mainstream media (even 'reputable newspapers') is notoriously inaccurate. You are within your rights to risk your own mental health by analysing these articles but please don't do it to anyone else.

I have a 12 week old and we go out most days. Babies need vitamin D, to practise their long range vision, to be exposed to pollen, to be exposed to different sounds...

The studies suggesting COVID can remain airborne for 3 hours are aerolized particles studied under controlled conditions. Aerolized particles occur from intubation, some dental equipment etc.

NOT the droplets that are released from a COVID positive person coughing, sneezing or breathing which are larger, heavier and fall to the ground quickly. In a contained environment (being in a room with someone with COVID) this is a risk, but outside, these droplets fall very quickly and there is no evidence that COVID is hanging around in the air outside for hours and you could catch it by walking where someone with COVID has walked even minutes before, let alone hours.

You shouldn't give advice based on studies you don't understand.

New studies are showing that confining people to closed environments, houses, flats, pubs, ships, care homes, hospitals, is in fact the worst thing you can do when the virus is already in circulation. Getting out in the fresh air is the best thing you can do to avoid viral load.

Oh FFS @SLMater

Seriously? Get a grip.

No mention of walking the baby to sleep then? I have to walk mine to sleep sometimes for everyone's sanity.

Should I be getting in my sealed car and driving instead OP?

It's unreasonable for you to refer to 22 people dying in one street in Newham without mentioning the multiple factors which have contributed to it.

And it is not relevant to your friend taking her baby for a walk around the park.

So OP you didn't really want to know if YWBU, did you?

You just wanted to put your point across and for everyone to agree with you.

Oh dear

I would have taken no risks whatsoever with my own baby - however infinitesimal the odds of catching the virus from being near others in the park

If you’re concerned about infinitesimal risks, you would never, ever, take a baby out, or go out yourself (in case you left the baby orphaned). Traffic accidents kill or seriously injure pedestrians every year - the risk is minuscule but it’s there and very likely to be greater than the risk of a baby coming to harm from Coronavirus as a result of a walk in a park.

Should I be getting in my sealed car and driving instead OP?

Statistically that would be far more dangerous to the baby!

Even though this isnt AIBU thread YABU. Nothing wrong with taking her baby who will be in pram away from anybody for a walk. Your 'friend' isn't breaking any of the rules. May be more concerned with people who actually are abusing the guidelines. Friends like you a new mother can do with out.

You are being ridiculous. There are a lot of nonsense posts on here buy this is one of the craziest. No official advise has advised against taking babies out. I took my baby into the supermarket yesterday and we’ve also been going out daily for walks (as we did before lockdown.) Does this make me an irresponsible parent - no.

Her baby her choice. She may need the walk for her own head space or perhaps, like my own baby, her baby sleeps better during a walk in pram or carrier.
We go out every day for a walk so he can have some air, a change of scenery and a decent nap.
There is a huge difference between your doctor friends and her level of exposure so you can’t compare that either. A walk outside in the sunlight is important for physical and mental health.

I think you need to speak to someone as your concern will drive your friend away. You bombarding her with your opinion is very dominating and you are, to her, calling her parenting and love into question. You are suggesting she's either very ignorant or a poor parent for not doing as you say every time you push the point.

Yes it's a very concerning time but this goes beyond concern and reminds me very much of anxiety, which is normal to be heightened in those of us that have it during this time. I would suggest talking to someone about this and apologising to your friend.

I have a younger babe and dc as well, i have taken them on walk observing social distancing. Air is not stagnant, there are currents and winds. If the virus was so infectious that it hung in the air outside for 3 hours then the whole world, every person, would be infected by now. Perhaps it hangs around small air conned facilities or enclosed rooms with stagnant or recycled air, i have no idea. Imagining you were correct then your friend would be as likely to be infected in her garden by viral particles on the wind as she is by walking so your reasoning makes even less sense.

I didn’t imagine this post would attract such intense hostility and vitriol, much of which is deeply hurtful

Yes, almost as deeply hurtful as being repeatedly accused of being a shit and irresponsible new parent who is wilfully putting her baby in danger, by a so called ‘friend’ I suppose she never expected that kind of hostility and vitriol from you either.

You take risks every day with a baby - there's the risk they might choke, fall off something, whack themselves in the eye with a toy etc etc. You can't eliminate risk, you have to manage them.

Is op just a troll trying to stir up trouble. What utter nonsense.

She’s not putting her baby at any risk unless someone leans into the pray and coughs all over the baby.

You sound overly anxious and paranoid.

I feel so worried that my friend keeps putting her baby at risk like this. I've sent her articles on studies about the dangers of going out, which she seemingly has chosen to ignore.

I think I'd send you some articles about mental health and anxiety and then block you.

Ah it's the old subtle (or not to subtle in this case) implying that you're a better parent because you wouldn't do such a heinous thing with your own baby. Babies need to be exposed to germs and to get fresh air and see the world. Keeping a baby inside constantly would, IMO, be much more detrimental than the minute risk of catching Covid-19 from an appropriately socially distanced walk. I think we are already going to see implications in terms of children's immune systems not being challenged in their first year, which is important for reducing the risk of leukaemia, among other things.

In any case, it's the mother who is more likely to suffer badly from Covid, not the baby. And if you deem it acceptable to go on walks yourself, then how does it even make any difference? If you pick it up on your walk, you're going to end up transmitting it to your child anyway 🤷‍♀️

I am going to say this politely.

FUCK OFF. How dare you judge your 'friend' and call her a bad mother for taking her child out for a walk.

Good grief! As a pp said, if it were really true that the virus was floating around in the air for 3 hours, it would have got into houses as they're not airtight. And as for opening a window...!

The first few weeks after giving birth were probably the most challenging of my life. Walking a lot outside was one of the few things that helped. Being told that I shouldn't, with the implication that if I was a better mother I wouldn't do it, would have pushed me over the edge. Your anxiety sounds very high, OP; please don't inflict it on your friend.