My work won't pay or furlough me.

[Mammatomyboy16]

So I have a 13 month old son. My dad looks after him when I go to work. Since we went on lockdown my dad hasn't been able to look after him as he's classed as vulnerable. Over 70 and has diabetes. I'm a key worker so haven't been able to go to work. My partner is also a key worker so can't stay off and look after our son.

I've taken some weeks timebanking, holidays and 2 weeks we had to self isolate as my son had a high temperature but he was fine.

Anyway, my work won't furlough me. They've said if I don't come back to work next week I won't be getting paid. I've told them the only way I can come back to work is if my dad comes back and looks after him, which is risking his life and my sons life. I am furious with my work. They have furloughed other people which I understand as they live with someone who's vulnerable. But because I don't live with my dad I won't be furloughed.

I can't afford to not be paid. I can't work around my partners hours as he gets in so late from work everyday.

I don't know what to do!

they never turned up and didn't bother to contact us or anything for a few months. Which is sad but what can we do!
Another one! You seem quite passive and hard-done-by. This is not "other people's" fault. "What can we do?" How about contact them? Chase it up?
Those others who "didn't bother to come and see your son," did you make the effort to build relationships by going to see them?
You may have to be a little more pro-active here. You haven't answered why you couldn't alter shifts to evenings and weekends so that childcare could be covered between you and your husband?
Not as easy as being furloughed, for sure, but that's not an option.

OP the point people are trying to make about relying on your dad is that at his age it was always risky. yes lots of 70yo are fine and dandy, DHs mum was right up to the minute she had her stroke. Instantly it was all gone and she can't even take herself to the loo or talk.

You're coming across like you want to change nothing, make no compromises and expect to be paid 80% of your wage to stay at home and look after own child.

None of us are able to benefit from family childcare at present. Most of us, myself included, have no options whatsoever for childcare so are cobbling things together one way or another. Me personally, I am attempting to 'work' from home with two toddlers in tow. My children are watching far too much TV and eating far too many snacks. My working day is stretching late into the night. I making compromises in every area and there is nothing ideal about any of it.

You will need to recognise that the same is true for you. Of course it is less than ideal that your father, however capable and enthusiastic, is no longer able to provide free childcare. However you are in the fortunate position that key worker childcare is available. No it is not ideal that you will have to find a provider who is working and pay them but if you only need part time hours and with your partner you are earning over the UC threshold I can see no reason why you wont be able to pay. There is no need to take a full time place to cover your part time job? No it's not ideal, you will likely have to make sacrifices elsewhere, just like we are all having to.

The alternative is you rearrange your family life, work opposite shifts with your dp, have him take on some of the childcare etc etc as per previous suggestions. This is not ideal either! It would likely bring about less family time, less downtime for each of you. My dh is reducing hours by 1 half day to give me that time to work uninterrupted. He is also dealing with the children for the first 2h of the day for the same reason. A huge sacrifice financially and in terms of his time. Not ideal for us at all.

Of course we could have decided it was untenable to make all these changes and one of us could have given up work which would likely render us eligible for uc. Nothing ideal about that either and would require many sacrifices.

I hope you are starting to see the theme. It is massively unreasonable to expect to not have to make any sacrifices. We are all living with this bullshit. You have choices, perhaps more than most.

@Sweetiepye

I’m pretty certain your ds could apply for universal credit. Has he checked out the Martin Lewis website?

It's not your employers fault I'm afraid. They have a job they need doing and somebody able to do it.
Some childcare is open to Key workers, you should get in easily.
Your dad at 70 was never going to be a long term child minder, it would have happened sooner or later.

The problem with coming on here to moan about this is that a large proportion of parents already have your problem - pay for childcare and work or stay at home.

You’ve been extremely fortunate to have this support, that many of us have never had, and unfortunately it’s not possible to continue. You are now in the same situation as many of us have been in and have to suck up.

If your employer isn’t willing to be flexible about your shifts you can look elsewhere. Supermarkets have been recruiting so you are more fortunate than others who have no choice as their businesses have folded or they didn’t qualify. If you can keep food on the table and a roof over your head you can count your blessings as others aren’t so fortunate.

If furloughed you would be on 80% pay but it would cost your employer little to nothing

You might want to read Flowery's post at 16.11 ... if employers don't stick to the (ever changing) rules there's every chance it could cost them a great deal, especially when government try to get out of the increasing costs wherever possible

I work in a supermarket so yeah can't do that from home. I didn't say he works for the nhs, I said he works on behalf of the nhs because he does. He wasn't able to work from home because he needs a laptop with a phone line to phone his customers.

This is exactly how I'm wfh - my work phone is a headset plugged into my laptop.

OP - if you work for a supermarket, then surely you have the best possible chance to make this work! You can work the weekends /evenings when your DP is at home.

Right, call your HR person, explain again you have lost your childcare as your father is shielding, and while you could take unpaid leave, this is still a temporary solution, so would they consider changing your hours to outside when your DP is working?

Furloughing was only going to be for a few weeks anyway, you've got a 12-18 month issue if your Dad can't do childcare for that long.

Talk to work, see if they will move your hours. It would be in their best interests to do that anyway.

Come to think of it, given the amount of folk supermarkets have been taking on, what's wrong with swapping to their hard-to-fill later shifts so you can work around childcare with your DP?

I seem to recall others have asked this, so it's a bit strange there's been no response

It’s been asked several times but you haven’t answered. What have your work said when you asked to work around your partners hours? I imagine there can be some come and go with hours at a supermarket right now?

@HariboLectar yes and he's tried that. I've explained this many times! He tried to work from home with a headset to make phone calls. The system wasn't working. It kept cutting off his calls and wasn't allowing his access to the information he needs on the system. His work even told him they can't fix this and told him to stop working from home!!!!!!

I see I cross posted with you, DisgruntledGuineaPig ... yet another poster asking the same question which has so far gone unanswered

So is your partner coming up with some options? from your posting history like your partner has a history of just dropping responsibilities on you

You work part time in a supermarket, is there another job less flexible and more in demand right now? Just work when your husbands home, change your shifts. Not rocket science

Furlough is available for people who don’t have childcare - send them the government’s guidelines

@flowery and others -just wanted to ask you a question.
What is the position if there is work available, but the member of staff is in the shielded group or has childcare issues? Is the employer obligated to furlough them?
Can the employer refuse to furlough staff?

I have other people who can look after him and have asked but unfortunately haven't bothered to come and see my son most his life and he isn't comfortable with them and screams the minute I leave the room. And I don't feel comfortable doing that.

Translation:

Childcare for my child is everyone elses responsibility but mine, and wah wah aren't all my family horrible for not coming to my rescue and looking after my child.

It's more of the same.

Same as its apparently the mean nasty employers fault who won't furlough the OP for childcare reasons.

Childcare isn't Daddy's responsibility either it seems.

Nope OP wants to get paid but not pay for childcare (cos her dad will do that for free). Unlike everyone else who takes responsibility for their child and may have made difficult decisions around childcare versus career.

The excuses and blame placed on everyone else being mean and unreasonable are quite remarkable to see keep coming.

The abject refusal to take responsibility for childcare is glaring.

What does everyone else do OP?

Why is it up to taxpayers to pay for your childcare issues? You have a job to go to, unlike a lot of people or people who face an uncertain future at the conclusion of furloughing. Furloughing isn't free. It will have to be paid for. Why should people who are having to pay for unexpected childcare have to pay for yours: many will also be keyworkers too. You don't have a fair and legitimate health reason to be furloughed. At the end of this the bill will be high enough and that's fair enough. I have sympathy for people who stuffed by this.

Ultimately though your situation comes down to taking the childcare you had for granted and expecting everyone else to sort it when it goes tits up because you don't want to do x, y or z.

Lots of people here didn't want to do x, y or z either but circumstances made them have to take responsibility for childcare or consider what they'd HAVE to do (note lack of choice) if their situation changed.

I have a lot of time for people struggling with circumstances right now but the more excuses I hear on this particular thread the more it annoys me because I know of so many people who really are struggling.

The lack of willingness to compromise, look for a short term solution other than furlough ING, understand the sacrifices that come with childcare responsibilities and the risk of grandparents as babysitters and how everyone is currently up shit creek too cos of coronavirus is galling.

To quote the rolling stones: We can't always get what we want.

Life is tough atm. People really get that. Buts it's tough for everyone.

@BlessYourCottonSocks in my area they are. They have linked with nurseries and are caring for infants up to secondary school.

Each council is different though but all provide childcare right from infant upwards. Some provide within private nurseries free of charge others are all in one area.

The op has options but hasn't looked into them fully and needs to contact the council in her area to find out what the process is.

15:09Mammatomyboy16

@teqcar I can afford my children. Just because I can't afford to put him in nursery 5 days a week doesn't mean I shouldn't have children

But it does mean you might not be able to work. You need to sit down with your DH and look at your finances and make a plan. Ultimately, we have no idea how long this will go on for, and if there will be a second wave which will put you in the same situation.

I have so much sympathy for you op because I was in a similar situation last year whereby my personal circumstances changed completely one day - I had no family to care for my 18 month old and could no longer afford to put her in nursery. I had 3 choices, and now you have 2 of those choices available to you.

1. You pay for childcare and accept the debt that comes with it. But you get to keep your job stability.
2. You take the unpaid leave for indefinite amount of time.
3. You move somewhere where housing and nursery fees are much cheaper (but if you were to do this, you'd need to do it between the waves).

Either way it is going to leave you out of pocket, so you need to decide which of the two is least likely to leave you destitute or homeless.

OP-If you are a supermarket worker, can't you change your shift pattern and do nights/late evenings/weekends?

@RedToothBrush I'm just wondering if you have some kind of problem that my family members look after my son? You've mentioned it a lot and I feel like it's really annoying you for some reason.

@Womenwotlunch employers can totally refuse to furlough staff - it is the company's discretion, not the employees'.

Mine have moved straight to redundancies...

@flowery and others -just wanted to ask you a question.
What is the position if there is work available, but the member of staff is in the shielded group or has childcare issues? Is the employer obligated to furlough them?
Can the employer refuse to furlough staff?

Yes, any employer can refuse to furlough staff, after all there is quite an administrative burden in furloughing and claiming, but I would hope that most reasonable employers would agree to furlough someone in the shielded category if they could not work from home or was unable to access childcare.

Youbwork in a supermarket so it should be really easy to fit in hours.

NHS sales - presume he doesn't work weekends? Do weekend supermarket shifts? Early mornings? Late night?