My work won't pay or furlough me.

[Mammatomyboy16]

So I have a 13 month old son. My dad looks after him when I go to work. Since we went on lockdown my dad hasn't been able to look after him as he's classed as vulnerable. Over 70 and has diabetes. I'm a key worker so haven't been able to go to work. My partner is also a key worker so can't stay off and look after our son.

I've taken some weeks timebanking, holidays and 2 weeks we had to self isolate as my son had a high temperature but he was fine.

Anyway, my work won't furlough me. They've said if I don't come back to work next week I won't be getting paid. I've told them the only way I can come back to work is if my dad comes back and looks after him, which is risking his life and my sons life. I am furious with my work. They have furloughed other people which I understand as they live with someone who's vulnerable. But because I don't live with my dad I won't be furloughed.

I can't afford to not be paid. I can't work around my partners hours as he gets in so late from work everyday.

I don't know what to do!

wouldn't cost the company anything?
What about the taxpayer? Why should we/they pay for people who just haven't got their preferred form of childcare?
And has been said before, by flowery (and others) who I believe is a HR expert, companies cannot give out furlough packages to people who don't strictly qualify, or they will have massive grief down the line from HMRC.

An over 70 man looking after child isnt ideal at all

You cant have everything your own way pay for proper childcare like the rest of us
Poor bloke probably nakard running round after 13 month old. My DD is same age and no way would expect grandparents to look after her she goes to nursery
Hiw can you not afford it if you both work and you will get tax free childcare also?
Your post sounds very entitled

@Smilebehappy123 I don't have to pay for proper childcare though. I have someone in my life who is more than happy to look after him.

You don't know my situation, you don't know me my family or my dad. Just because you don't have you're parents looking after your little one doesn't mean no one else's can.

Trust me if he didn't want to do it he wouldn't!!!!

And you certainly don't know my financial situation to say why can't we afford it.

Entitled? Far fucking from it hun 😊

@MondieBee you've hit the nail on the head!

I actually can't believe how offended some people are about grandparents looking after grandchildren 😂 it's laughable.

I'm a bit baffled by some of the aggressive comments you've received about your childcare situation previously. Surely that's between you and your dad?

However your current situation is one you've asked for advice on. I think your only options will be to find paid childcare for the time being, or quit your job. Work wont furlough you because your role still has work that needs to be done - by you or someone else, and there are still childcare options available, so you will need to weigh up whether you pay out for childcare now with a long term view to keeping your job, or quit and look for something else when this is all done.

Taxpayers will bear the brunt of this furlough scheme for many, many years to come so I fully support companies not using it for convenience.

I don't care about, or even have any opinion on the fact that under normal circumstances your dad looks after your little boy.
I do care about how taxes are going to be spent for the next decade or so, in paying off the eye-watering amounts being used to support the country during this crisis. Therefore, I applaud any company who is treating the bail-out system carefully.
They CAN furlough staff for childcare reasons. You, presumably, don't qualify because you do have options, you're just not willing to use them. Either change your shifts so your husband can do his share of care at weekends, build some bridges with the other family members you appear to have fallen out with, pay a childminder or give up work.
It is not your employer or we taxpayers who are responsible for your available choices not being to your liking.

@Mammatomyboy16 you’ve literally said you can’t afford it 🤦🏼‍♀️Try and keep up with the desperate lies you’re telling to make yourself sound better eh?
Since you can afford childcare, go put him in childcare - since you’re a ‘keyworker’ you can do this - problem solved 😆

@Mammatomyboy16
Very entitled if you ask me. A 70 year old man running round after a young child., disgraceful
My 13 month is into everything and I couldn't imagine asking an elderly relative
Because you cant be assed to pay for childcare, your partner sounds useless also , what stimulation is a 70 year old man for a child ? My daughter paints , plays with other children , plays with her toys , outdoor and indoor craft
What's your child doing with a poorly 70 year old?
Poor bloke probably doesn't have the heart to tell you and your free loading hubby to take responsibility for your own child

I see you loved the “hun style” response to why you should be furloughed from Mondi rather than the rl responses telling you it would be inappropriate to furlough an essential worker due to childcare issues. Perhaps you need to ask the question elsewhere if you want sympathy and biscuits. Mumsnet says it how it is.

@Nixen
Thank god somebody else can see through OP bullshit
This stinks of well my dad looks after DD why should we pay for childcare
Get in the real world like the rest of us
My parents are similar age to OP and have DD for a couple of hours here and there , a full time caring arrangement no way , they are too old. Couldn't possibly run round after my child and by daughter enjoys nursery, why should she be denied that? Me and my husband go without to pay for good quality nursery care , do we care no because our daughter is our world

Entitled? Far fucking from it hun

You are completely entitled. You are finding yourself having to pay for childcare for the first time ever (which many of us are or else we become SAHP) and lashing out at everyone who isn't fawning all over you with "poor you hard done by soul" because somebody else wont fund your lifestyle choice. Stop throwing your toys out of the pram and throwing childish tantrums because people are pointing out you have viable options that you don't want to do!

1. Pay for childcare - childcare provisions are open for key workers. Yes you previously had it for free, but shit happens.

1. Work opposite shifts to your husband, and balance the childcare between you.

1. Take unpaid leave or quit your job, become a SAHP and give up bringing in a wage but not have to pay childcare.

These are what every parent has to deal with it. Yes its shit seeing a large chunk of your wage disappear to childcare, even more so when you're not used to it and have had it for free previously, it's a big adjustment to your finances. But it is not anyones responsibility but your own. You are not hard done by. Furloughing for childcare reasons is for people who have no childcare options - you are a key worker and do have childcare options. You just dont like them, and only want to do what you've always done. Sorry, that's currently not a option.

You cannot reasonably expect your work to fund your lifestyle choices (and not wanting to pay for childcare or being a SAHP is a lifestyle choice) Everyone would love to stay at home and be paid but how the fuck would we all survive. I'm a SAHP due to the exact same circumstances you find yourself in now. Its crap. I hated giving up my job, but such is life. I decided to have children and it is up to me to provide for them any which way I can, regardless of what way circumstances pan out. You cant plan for every eventuality and you have to roll with the punches when they come, not demand that somebody else pays your way because you dont fancy changing.

I also think the reason you've been piled on so much is your terrible attitude and sense of entitlement. You have shot down anyone offering you sensible options, you are literally only interested in people justifying you staying at home and being paid for doing nothing.

How you are being treated is completely fair, what you're asking for is to be treated as if your special, which you are not. You're the same as everybody else. Your work wont pay you for not working. Fair. You have to pay someone to look after your child. Also fair.

My husbands work have closed, are refusing to furlough staff and are instead putting them on unpaid for several months until they open up again. This is exactly what furlough was intended for, but as it's up to employers digression whether they enter into it or not. Its crap, not fair and my husband has had to take a much lower paid job as a key worker, which puts him at a greater risk of picking of coronavirus. Completely shit. But we have bills to pay and children to provide for so we get on with it. Like everyone else is having to at the moment, we're no worse off than many people. You are better off than us, you just think you're entitled to have everything your own way and others fund it.

I honestly cant fatham that the OP cannot see that the answer to her problem is to pay for childcare for her child
Two people working full time can afford childcare it's as simple as that , if not then give your job up OP and live off your husbands wage
Not everybody has family childcare or chooses to take it up in our case , I honestly dont know what else you was expecting people to say

Just to put in into perspective for you the majority of my wage goes on childcare
I choose to pay this and not give my job up because it's my career and the situation is a temp one , once DD turns three things will improve with the free hours
It's hard yes but as poster above said your not entitled to free childcare

Perhaps you need to ask the question elsewhere if you want sympathy and biscuits.

Here's one from me. I've lost most of my salary to childcare for the last 10 years. It's just been my normal!

@Smilebehappy123 hahaha fuck off 😂😂😂 when this is all over I'd love to invite you down so you can see what he's like with my son? Seen as though you seem to think an elderly person can't paint or play outside with a young child 🙄!!!

Also, I didn't ask him to do it. He offered and we agreed. It works for my family.

Why is this affecting you're life so much 😂

@Smilebehappy123 I don't work full time either

I feel like everyone wants a round of applause and a medal for paying for there children's childcare?

Because you pay for childcare and I don't doesn't mean you're better than me or anyone else for that matter. You pay someone else to look after your child? I have my dad look after him and then have him myself when I don't work.

That's how it is that's how it's going to stay.

@Mammatomyboy16
Well then dont come on mums net looking for sympathy then because you and hubby dont want to spend money on your own child
Absolute free loader

That's how it is that's how its going to stay

Well obviously not or you woulsnt be posting
Your pissed off because you cant dump your child on grandparents , worlds smallest violin eh

@Smilebehappy123 hahaha you are completely right. I'm so annoyed that I can't work four hours a day and can't dump my son on my dad for a few hours.

Yeah and I'm the biggest free loader. God you have got me absolutely spot on.

Anyway, I'm going to go and enjoy the rest of my week off with my son. Hope you have a lovely day.

Literally have no problem with you getting free childcare when its available to you. Problem is, its not currently available to you and you're still expecting it for free or to be paid for not working, and for somebody else to fund it for you instead of you taking responsibility for it yourself. You're also not replying to any reasonable suggestions about the options available to you. It's literally just poor wee me, I'm so hard done by, I'm entitled to have money for nothing and shame on anyone who thinks I should pay my own way.

@Mammatomyboy16
Yeah I will.do thanks me working from home, hubby fairloughed , no issues here for us

Your deserve the shitty responses you got, you have a nice day also

@Namechangeapril20

Exactly this OP doesn't seem to get it at all
We are in the middle of a global pandemic, whether she likes it or not her 70 year old diabetic dad cannot provide childcare, I know at least 10 people in this situation and all have just sorted childcare or made arrangements with work , the level.of entitlement is outstanding

So why can't you work weekends?
I can't see you have answered this (apologies if I scrolled past your reply). It's quite a vital question, isn't it? *
What hours does DH work? * Again, I don't think you've actually said. He surely can't be home THAT late? He is very unlikely to be working the inhuman hours you imply (which were outlawed years ago by the EU working time Directive).

Or what about 1 or 2 late evening shifts and a weekend shift?

You've ignored these questions and suggestions. Is it just that you are not willing to admit that you don't want to give up your family time because you know you'll get flamed?

I have no issue with the choices you have made re working PT and your DD helping with DS. But these are exceptional times and you need to adapt and rethink temporarily.
You say you've made this thread for help with solutions. This seems to be the only solution yet you have ignored it. The other obvious solution is to work FT until this is over and pay for childcare (which is available for key workers).

You may not WANT to do either of these. But they are the only sensible solutions to your problem. This is temporary and exceptional and won't be forever!