When does mental health supersede coronavirus?

[fourstarsoutoffive]

My young adult dd lives alone in a flat and is still working. She works in a job (non essential) that involves her being pretty much alone all day, just the supervisor pops their head around the door occasionally. Her job can't be done at home.

Anyway, after five weeks she is getting really low. Obviously we do zoom calls and she does the same with her friends, but the lack of real human contact is starting to have a detrimental effect and she wants to book time off and come here for a week.

I'm completely torn. She has no contact with anyone other than a weekly supermarket shop and we are in the same boat as we are working from home. WWYD?

I'd have her home. Prepare for most people to say no though.

If that was me I'd have her home. You've risk assessed the situation, both working either at home or in isolation. We've got one daughter who lives at home, she's a nurse in a busy Newcastle hospital so she's out there everyday potentially bringing home the virus. Our other daughter lives half an hour away with her boyfriend, both working from home and happy enough at the moment. However if she rang and said she wanted to come home we'd say yet straight away. Which will go against much of Mumsnet but it's the truth.

I'd have her home as well. If she is doing a desk job on her own I don't understand why she can't work from home.

I agree. Emotional well-being is important.

@Ginfordinner it's not a desk job unfortunately.

Agree you should have her home

I'd have her home too.

Definitely have her home. Could she stay with you for the duration?

100% have her at yours.

She could only come for a week or two because of having to work (she enjoys her job but is finding the loneliness difficult)

Does she live near you?

@ineedaholidaynow she's about 100 miles away, if she was close by she'd live here and commute.

Thank God MN seems to be becoming a bit more empathetic. Posters asking the same a couple of weeks ago were being torn apart.

Why is everyone assuming that the DD wants to move back home? I know 2 single women who live alone and are really struggling with isolation and mental health. In both cases their parents have asked them to move in with them but they don't want to! Despite their loneliness they want to continue living as independent adults.

Why is everyone assuming that the DD wants to move back home?

I guess because Op posted and seemed like a logical way to help her DD.

If DD doesn't want to move home then I'd suggest moving in with a friend or boyfriend for a while (if she has those).

Sorry, she can’t.

I know that’s not what you want to hear, but she can’t come and stay with you and leave again.

Yes she can OP. she sounds like she needs a break and some human contact / tlc.

Do it if your gut is telling you to

And don’t even listen to what we say on here. Her mental well-being is extremely important

Your daughter certainly should be with you, OP. Ignore anyone who says otherwise. The lack of real, human contact is arguably as much of a killer as Covid.

If her mental health is that bad, will a week really help though? If it’s that bad then I would advise her to get signed off work and let her stay with you for a longer period. If it’s not that bad, then I’d say she needs to carry on. It’s shit either way. I hope she’s ok.

If her mental health is that bad, will a week really help though? If it’s that bad then I would advise her to get signed off work and let her stay with you for a longer period. If it’s not that bad, then I’d say she needs to carry on.

With respect, I don't think this is great advice. Better to nip it in the bud before it gets worse. Prevention is better than cure (something we've all learnt recently, no? :))
I think after a week she may be happy to go back home (no offence OP, but families get on top of each other!) and ready to face another month. I say this as someone who lives alone with pre-existing MH difficulties who has thought a lot about the minimum contact needed to scrape by.

IF she would like to come home, allow it but she must stay until lockdown is over.

Definitely do it.

I think mental health issues do supersede coronavirus on occasion - a friend is now on a psychiatric ward due her condition worsening.
I ended up living alone just before lockdown due to relationship issues.
Because of severe psychiatric problems, I've not lived alone for over 16 years, either with parents or friends, so finding myself suddenly living alone just before lockdown wasn't ideal.
After a week of being on my own, I was losing it. My psychiatrist picked up on this.
We arranged that a friend would stay with me - they go to work & occasionally pop back to their flat to check up on it (they live alone).
I pay for all the food, bills & their extra petrol whilst they continue to pay all the bills on their flat.
My psychiatrist wrote a letter that my friend carries stating that they have caring duties with me hence not living at their permanent residence. My GP has been made aware of the situation & has not raised any complaints.
As every day life improves I hope that I will start to cope with being alone and they won't have to stay as much.
(My friend also buys food for elderly parents so carries photocopies of their parents' pension statements to show why food needs delivering.)

If she wants to come home then definitely let her, I would if it was one of my boys without even to have to think about it.