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Original poster

Is this the end of romance and the possibility of meeting a significant other?

44 replies

Sosadandempty · 27/04/2020 21:04

This is lighthearted because I know that in the hierarchy of things to worry / be sad about this comes quite/very low down, but anyway...

How will any of us meet anyone if we have to stick to social distancing for the rest of forever?

Feel quite sad about this as lockdown has emphasised how lonely I am (me and everyone else, I know).. Have been single and lonely for a long time, and now it is only set to continue Sad - but it’s worse because the possibility has been taken away.

Was wondering about other single people’s feelings about this.

OP posts:
zscaler · 27/04/2020 21:05

Lockdown won’t last forever OP. Neither will social distancing. It feels that way sometimes, but it will end and normality will return.

Jonesn1 · 27/04/2020 21:07

I'm with you, I had really hoped this might be my year to actually find someone but with lockdown dragging on I'm not hopeful.

terri65 · 27/04/2020 21:09

Chin up, OP. Take this time to enjoy your free time and do some good self care or anything that you might not get as much time to do when you do find someone. I don't think it will be much longer before restrictions am start to lift and then for all we know there may be a vaccine, etc. I completely get where you're coming from Thanks

DDIJ · 27/04/2020 21:10

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

clumsyduck · 27/04/2020 21:11

Also with you ! except I had finally met someone and now we are stuck in different bloody countries Sad

Longjo · 27/04/2020 21:23

In the same boat. Finally thought this year might be it but a series of awful events as well as coronavirus have stomped on that idea Sad Feeling so lonely in this past week especially (see my other thread). Never say never though.

To all the single people commenting here, what will you do after lockdown is lifted? Go back to online dating or try to meet someone irl? Jump on someone? Wink I'm curious.

Hannah021 · 27/04/2020 21:28

Given that this situation is not forever, u r setting urself for unjustified negativity, just to be miserable.

MRex · 27/04/2020 21:42

I remember the feeling that I'd never meet someone, that longing for someone to share things with. Then you find them somehow and get a much more occasional longing for some time on your own! Is online dating not taking place online now? Surely there is still chat and you can video-conference with wine etc. You could get through a ton of coffee dates at a weekend when you don't need to get from place to place. In the end it's all a numbers game; say 30m men, take off those living with a partner and too old / young, narrow to those in your area, I think I worked out there were 3000 in my area at the time. Some would be in relationships or not be attractive to me, that still leaves a lot of men to choose from. This won't be forever, you'll be on a real date soon enough.

YorkOrLucas · 27/04/2020 21:43

I'm feeling a bit wobbly as time goes on as well. Today I felt myself re-enacting that scene from Friends where Rachel says 'Well, I want to have a baby at 35, but I'd like to be married for 3 years, I need two years to plan the wedding'..

Am I going to be much older when/ if I do meet someone?

BuffaloCauliflower · 27/04/2020 21:53

It won’t last forever, and I think people will be even more sociable and up for dating afterwards than they were before. It might even be a good thing Smile

stuckindoors77 · 27/04/2020 22:04

I have been single and looking for years and years but this has made me realise it will never now happen. All chance of me meeting someone is gone.

Why though?

I mean admittedly right now isn't the best time but I'd imagine 2021 will be a bumper year.

There'll be singletons that we're already looking and are ready to continue. Singletons that thought they were happy to be single until lockdown forced them to face loneliness head on and newly single people who realised in lockdown that they were ready to move on.

All ready to flood the market.

Use the time to feel good about yourself and then, when you can.... get back out there!

pocketem · 27/04/2020 22:10

People are still active on Tinder. More active than normal

BeetrootRocks · 27/04/2020 22:14

Yes it's shit for those single and for teens as well.

Of course that can be acknowledged with what's going on.

I'm not in your position but have friends who are single and live alone, and were dating etc. I think those who live alone are in a tough position.

It won't last forever OP but yes it is bollocks.

hollieberrie · 27/04/2020 22:15

I think now is a good time. I've been chatting to the same guy from Bumble since mid March. We have yet to meet! But it's been fun getting to know each other slowly and with the focus on personality and humour rather than looking for an immediate physical attraction.

I keep meaning to log back on and chat to some.other people too but have been poorly. As soon as I feel better then I intend to. Go for it OP!

YorkOrLucas · 27/04/2020 22:16

People are still active on Tinder. More active than normal

What's the point when you can't meet someone face-to-face for months? Skype dates are no where near the same and I look like a potato. Plus the thought of some freak sending live dick pics, no thank you.

gingganggooleywotsit · 27/04/2020 22:23

Try not to think of it as being forever. It feels that way I know, but we WILL bounce back from this.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 27/04/2020 22:23

I was just planning on jumping the first single, reasonably nice person who seemed interested once the pubs opened back up. Doesn't look like it will be for a while now though

On a serious note. Like a pp said , it's likely there will be more single people ready to have a relationship after lock down ends (I might be one of them) also more nearly single people about

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 27/04/2020 22:24

Newly

notsureneversure · 27/04/2020 22:27

Plus the thought of some freak sending live dick pics, no thank you.

That’s what really puts me off. The chance of being flashed at and your reaction very clearly on show is rather higher than I’d be comfortable with.

GinWithASplashOfTonic · 27/04/2020 22:30

I'm in the same boat. I was getting my head round meeting and ready to be single and ready to mingle. And this all kicked off

Although my tinder is defo seeing more action than it has in a while. And it has made me think what do i actually want

bathsh3ba · 27/04/2020 22:31

I don't think it's made a huge difference to me but I understand the concern. People will be cautious for a while but I'm sure eventually they will relax enough to start 'proper' dating again. Then again, I've been single 6 years since leaving my husband, so another year doesn't seem like such a big deal, and my faith-related criteria mean that eligible men are few and far between anyway! Tinder etc are still active from what my friends tell me but it's never really been my thing, I think most people (well, most guys at least) on there are looking for one nighters or 'friends with benefits'.

Willowmartha1 · 27/04/2020 22:36

I've been single for seven years and met someone nice out of the blue in January when I wasn't even looking ! We had a coupe of dates and then lockdown, we message every day hopefully we will see each other again but who knows ?

Original poster
Sosadandempty · 27/04/2020 23:55

I tried online dating once - between December and February, but though I went on 7 platonic dates with a really nice person (that I am still in touch with as friends) it didn’t work out in a romantic way, which was painful as I had got emotionally attached. I can’t go through that again, and everyone wouldn’t be him?

Also, other than my 7 platonic dates person and my ex husband, I have had no other relationships and feel like an oddity and am shy and feel inexperienced.

If I am going to meet anyone ever (feels impossible and I totally relate to what you said @DDIJ) I think it will be IRL.

But my default position is somehow this sexless life (which is more or less what my marriage was like for years) and I hate it.

Added to which I am 51 and really feel that soon no one will want me Sad so am panicking about time passing.

(I do have my three teens with me during lockdown, but I guess it’s a craving for adult company.)

OP posts:
doghairismyglitter · 27/04/2020 23:56

I know what you mean. I’ve been single for a year now and went on a date the day before lockdown was officially announced.

Since then have chatted daily, but past week his messages have been getting less & less.

Tonight my friend sent me a screenshot of him on tinder. She’s been on there ages so he’d obviously only just signed up. And I haven’t heard from him all day. So that’s clearly a goner 👎🏼

Feels pretty crappy & definitely makes me feel even more “single”. Although being a lone parent with a whole lot of responsibility & no other adult to help/share with probably makes it worse.

On the upside: after this I’m definitely going to date more. Life is too short.

SpyApp · 28/04/2020 00:01

Yup OP it feels like a bit of a race against time at this age.Sad