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Original poster

Interrogation by bus driver

81 replies

OldQueen1969 · 22/04/2020 15:09

So, as I am unable to leave the house because my Mum is in her last days, my DP is stepping up and doing any shopping or errand running, which is probably more frequent than we woulld like but the needs of a terminally ill person are varied and unpredictable - we are trying as hard as we can to minimise trips out.

After four weeks of utter inactivity, my ebay shop for my closed bricks and mortar shop has sprung into life with several sales in the last few days. So today DP took the parcels out combining with a shopping trip and discovered that our nearest post office is closed on Wednesdays. So he got on a bus to get to the next nearest, and was asked by the bus driver if he was out legitimately for shopping. DP was unimpressed, a little abrasive and was told this is a new thing recently introduced. DP decided to get a taxi.

Our town is by no means a hot spot, with a total of 90 deaths and just over a thousand cases I believe = for context the population is a little over 600,000.

So is this a good thing, a bad thing? Too little too late? I'm just a bit surprised as I had to make multiple bus trips before Mum was released to our house from hospital for safeguarding reasons sanctioned by the GP etc and I was never questioned, I have seen groups of "social outdoor drinkers" unchallenged during those weeks and police that I have passed haven't given me a second glance. And no DP doesn't look like a thug.

I'm also concerned for the bus drivers - in our locale we have some colourful and somewhat volatile vulnerable groups who can be quite aggressive when challenged......

What a world we live in now eh?

OP posts:
Original poster
OldQueen1969 · 22/04/2020 16:18

@humblesims - may I offer a hug of solidarity and send Flowers and love to you too x

OP posts:
AmelieTaylor · 22/04/2020 16:18

@OldQueen1969. I am so sorry to hear about your mum🌷 it's an even more dreadful time than normal to be going through this hell. I'm pleased you managed to get her home to be with you though. As tough as it is, it's better than not being able to be with her xx. I'm glad you feel reasonably well supported by the DN's. You're doing really well, I know I'd be a complete wreck.

I understand your DP preferring to take a taxi & especially when he was in the back foot, but at least next time he'll be prepared.

Personally I'd have just waited and posted them tomorrow at the local PO

Different companies are doing different things all across the country. Including bus companies. No idea if the bloke was told to ask or whether he is just choosing to. He probably wouldn't ask if he didn't want to though 🤷🏻‍♀️

If I was a bus driver I'd probably be asking passengers too - I wouldn't want to be putting myself at risk for people who just fancy a bus ride rather than going to work
Or for essential supplies.

I think everyone is stressed and that neither DP nor the bus driver were in the wrong.

Take care of all of you 🌷

Original poster
OldQueen1969 · 22/04/2020 16:21

Thank you @AmelieTaylor and others who have posted kind words - much appreciated x

OP posts:
MarieIVanArkleStinks · 22/04/2020 16:25

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. What you are going through is a devastating experience. Be kind to yourself, and please ignore the hair-splitting from the prefects about what is 'essential' or otherwise. You have enough to deal with, without this Flowers

HavartiToSeeYou · 22/04/2020 16:27

Just a London thing, ChardonnaysPetDragon, though it hasn’t been implemented across all London yet.

MrKlaw · 22/04/2020 16:28

@Haffiana I partly blame the media. I'm going slowly crazy listening to the radio constantly talking about key workers, essential workers, and then what the rest of us are doing with all this free time we have.

No mention of the people having to go into the office because they have no choice. Normal people doing normal jobs, having to take buses and trains every day because their boss doesn't think they can do the work from home (or they actually can't, like a factory or something).

Its like that entire group of people - probably millions - just being ignored, even though they're at risk like supermarket workers and others.

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 22/04/2020 16:30

Thanks, I have been working from home and even though I heard about it, and I think it's great because it protects the drivers, I haven't been on a bus for a couple of weeks.

pallasathena · 22/04/2020 16:49

Since when were bus drivers tasked to monitor peoples movements? Sounds like a Job's-worth to me OP.

bustybetty · 22/04/2020 16:50

Would it not be better to mail them with postage online? I sell on ebay too and its cheaper and easier - you just then need to find a box big enough to accept them. As for regular shopping I would shop weekly and get by on what you have. I make my four kids and hubby give me a paper list before going and if its not on the list they have to wait a week!

Original poster
OldQueen1969 · 22/04/2020 16:55

I don't have a working printer at present and cashflow is too tight to invest at present plus your average post box won't take a bulky item of clothing.

We shop as infrequently as possible. Believe me, we ARE observing the rules and catering for a highly specialised diet.

OP posts:
Quarantimespringclean · 22/04/2020 17:04

You aren’t in a hot spot but if people ignore lockdown rules you could become a hotspot.

The bus driver asked a question. Your husband could have given his completely honest answer and carried on his way. Why he chose to get a taxi is beyond me.

cdtaylornats · 22/04/2020 17:11

Next time just get your DP to wear a nurses uniform :)

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 22/04/2020 17:12

The bus driver asked a question, didn’t torture anyone asked a question that’s all. Your DP completed overreacted by getting a cab instead, he could of just answered the question.

You can leave home to
Work, if you can’t from home
Buy food
Buy medicine or attend medical appointments
Exercise once per day
Caring for someone

As long as your DP reason fitted in to the above then why did he get a cab instead of just being a normal person and speaking to the bus driver and saying it was an essential reason?

I think it’s fair enough tbh. Having to drive a bus as the moment is bad enough when you know it’s for people’s essential reasons to be out but you don’t want to be putting your health a risk driving a germ fest of public transport for people to pop out of jollies.

yearinyearout · 22/04/2020 17:14

It's not up to the bus driver to be policing who's allowed on the bus or not. That said, if I was your DH I would've just said yes it's essential (albeit in an annoyed fashion)

buttermilkwaffles · 22/04/2020 17:19

The phrase used (for being outside your home) is reasonable excuse, then there is a list of what constitutes a reasonable excuse.

On a related note, the legislation was amended today, some details here, from a lawyer: mobile.twitter.com/AdamWagner1/status/1252943209162031104

The main change (from a reply by another lawyer) is "The change in effect is that no longer does a failure to comply with a direction home constitute an offence, but just being out without a reasonable excuse is the offence."
mobile.twitter.com/davidallengreen/status/1252943646284005376

Radleygirl · 22/04/2020 17:26

@englishrosie what exactly do you mean by “the likes of a bus driver” do you somehow think you are above them, some lowly bus driver how dare they!!

Original poster
OldQueen1969 · 22/04/2020 17:29

How interesting - and a little disturbing @buttermilkwaffles.

Has this been noted in the press anywhere?

OP posts:
NikeDeLaSwoosh · 22/04/2020 17:30

Well it wasn't an essential trip was it?

There's nothing in the legislation at all about 'essential' trips.

The word 'essential' isn't even used.

Lexijayde44 · 22/04/2020 17:30

It's ridiculous everyone policing everything!

Thinkingabout1t · 22/04/2020 17:32

Your DH's trip was essential, both for supplies and to earn your living.

I can understand why the bus driver wants as little contact with passengers as possible, because several drivers have already been infected and died. But I feel for your poor old DH coping with all the grief and anxiety and stress of your Mum's illness -- he didn't need what sounded like unnecessary questioning.

Best wishes to you, DH and your mother. I'm very glad she is spending her last days in your safe and loving care, when so many old people die alone. It's a huge strain on you and DH, but you'll never have to regret, after she dies, that you didn't do more for her. I hope all goes well for you.
Flowers

Original poster
OldQueen1969 · 22/04/2020 17:34

Thinking further, how can one prove one's intent without some from of official documentation?

And is it this that has prompted the co-opting of other agencies outside of the police to do checks? is it just me or is this such a grey area?

My DPs jourey today falls under essential by the rules previously but posters here have suggested several times that we should have done things differently anyway - go tomorrow, find a way to post without going to the post office etc - will the authorities be permitted to do the same in challenged situations? "Your trip out may be essential but we think you should do it differently"...... I feel quite hinky about this.

OP posts:
Original poster
OldQueen1969 · 22/04/2020 17:38

I would rather have a full lockdown with no trips out unless documented with all bases covered than this mish mash that leaves everyone open to accusations of law breaking even when one is trying to avoid doing so.

Mine is not to reason why - I get that - but the fine points need to be clear and not just tweaked sneakily without public announcement.

OP posts:
NikeDeLaSwoosh · 22/04/2020 17:41

Your trip out may be essential but we think you should do it differently

This is precisely why the word 'essential' isn't used, you just need a reasonable excuse to be out of the house.

Your DH has several, all of which are clearly defined in the legislation, so there the discussion ends.

If people don't like the legislation as it stands, fine, they need to write to their MP with their concerns, not make up their own version and then harangue random members of the public for not following them.

NikeDeLaSwoosh · 22/04/2020 17:42

Mine is not to reason why

No, yours is precisely to reason why - this is a democracy and we should absolutely be holding the feet of our MPs to the fire!

puffinandkoala · 22/04/2020 17:44

It's not up to the bus driver to be policing who's allowed on the bus or not. That said, if I was your DH I would've just said yes it's essential (albeit in an annoyed fashion

yes, I think in truth I would have reacted in an annoyed fashion too, especially if it was my first time out for ages!

I wouldn't have explained myself though, just said, yes I am using the bus for an essential reason and sat down.