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Original poster

Interrogation by bus driver

81 replies

OldQueen1969 · 22/04/2020 15:09

So, as I am unable to leave the house because my Mum is in her last days, my DP is stepping up and doing any shopping or errand running, which is probably more frequent than we woulld like but the needs of a terminally ill person are varied and unpredictable - we are trying as hard as we can to minimise trips out.

After four weeks of utter inactivity, my ebay shop for my closed bricks and mortar shop has sprung into life with several sales in the last few days. So today DP took the parcels out combining with a shopping trip and discovered that our nearest post office is closed on Wednesdays. So he got on a bus to get to the next nearest, and was asked by the bus driver if he was out legitimately for shopping. DP was unimpressed, a little abrasive and was told this is a new thing recently introduced. DP decided to get a taxi.

Our town is by no means a hot spot, with a total of 90 deaths and just over a thousand cases I believe = for context the population is a little over 600,000.

So is this a good thing, a bad thing? Too little too late? I'm just a bit surprised as I had to make multiple bus trips before Mum was released to our house from hospital for safeguarding reasons sanctioned by the GP etc and I was never questioned, I have seen groups of "social outdoor drinkers" unchallenged during those weeks and police that I have passed haven't given me a second glance. And no DP doesn't look like a thug.

I'm also concerned for the bus drivers - in our locale we have some colourful and somewhat volatile vulnerable groups who can be quite aggressive when challenged......

What a world we live in now eh?

OP posts:
FFSFFSFFS · 22/04/2020 15:45

(ie not you that's putting pressure - but as in the notion that a bus driver has to enforce who should be getting on the bus)

Xenia · 22/04/2020 15:46

I have to go to the post office almost every other day for work and remember the regulatiosn allow everyone to work and to travel to work and back and to travel at work unless they are on a very narrow list (pubs etc) or they cannot work from home. Everyone else is free to work and that is not just essential jobs like nurses but everyone.

ilovecakeandwine · 22/04/2020 15:46

It's not his job to ask , it's like the supermarket staff stopping you on the way in and asking what your buying is essential.

Original poster
OldQueen1969 · 22/04/2020 15:47

I don't see why bus drivers should be asked to put themselves at extra risk of stress and aggression policing whether people are taking essential journeys on public transport. I ask again, what do they do if they feel a journey is non-essential? It's open to interpretation and what if someone doesn't have proof and is prevented from doing an essential journey? DP just didn't want to get into it - taxi drivers are grateful for the business.

OP posts:
englishrosie · 22/04/2020 15:49

I don't understand why everyone is pulling your DP to bits on how he reacted. I'd react the same, I don't react well to people poking into my business - especially not the likes of a bus driver during what is already a stressful and abrasive time. I would be annoyed and embarrassed and would just think fuck it I'm not putting up with this bollocks I'll get a taxi.

LovesNettles · 22/04/2020 15:50

I'm not going to offer an opinion on whether or not it was an essential trip, but how unfair to bus drivers to make them the interrogators and their brother's keeper Shock

ilovemydogandMrObama · 22/04/2020 15:50

Think it's really not the bus driver's job to ask why people are on the bus, but to be fair there has been several bus drivers who have been infected.

TheMagiciansMewTwo · 22/04/2020 15:56

Are you annoyed they asked your DH a question or 'concerned' about bus drivers? Fwiw bus drivers have to deal with unsavoury and troublesome characters all the time. They will know the procedures and processes they're allowed to use.
The thing is most people will just answer the question. Your DH got in a strop and stormed off the bus but I don't think that would be a usual response at all. It also means that he doesn't know what would have happened next so your hand wringing over bus drivers seems an odd preoccupation at what is a stressful time for you in RL.

LilacTree1 · 22/04/2020 15:58

Disgusting behaviour going on right now. You’ve got a business to run and a mum to care for.

OTOH I hope the driver wasn’t harassed into asking, but I also don’t want him to have done it of his own volition.

Original poster
OldQueen1969 · 22/04/2020 15:59

I do feel for the bus drivers being at risk - but I have seen only two instances of them wearing gloves or any sort of mask during lockdown. I have seen some wiping going on, but only rarely and if another transport employee was on board which they usually aren't. Services are reduced to Bank Holiday levels only. We are in a large SC town, not London, with relatively few cases and deaths thank heavens. I think if this was going to be a thing, it should have started at the beginning of lockdown and been publicised widely, not just introduced now. Shutting the door after the horse has bolted springs to mind.

When I was still travelling at various times of the day, I saw no ore than four passengers at a time, so I think the message has gone through to avoid as much as possible. It's the enforcement aspect that bothers me, and yes, it feels intrusive. Psychologically it makes one feel guilty for going out at all, and this just re-inforces that I think.

OP posts:
Genevieva · 22/04/2020 16:01

It was a legitimate trip - all he had to say was "Yes I am out for work and essential shopping." No need for a taxi.

Iwalkinmyclothing · 22/04/2020 16:01

That seems daft and a good way to start aggressive arguments which would otherwise not happen. Whoever decided their poor bus drivers, already running risks and under stress, should also have to do that, is mad. Totally mad.

I hope this time with your mum is peaceful and full of love Flowers.

PineappleDanish · 22/04/2020 16:03

Well it wasn't an essential trip was it?

It was work. Posting parcels in connection with your business.

Essential by Mumsnet standards is "leg hanging off" or "having a heart attack" or "malnourished to the point of starvation".

Meanwhile, back in the real world ...

Original poster
OldQueen1969 · 22/04/2020 16:04

@TheMagiciansMewTwo

I'm not sure what you're getting at, sorry ?

Can I not be concerned for my Mum and things going on in the wider world? I'm a big picture person as a rule,and also interested in how this whole situation is going.

OP posts:
HavartiToSeeYou · 22/04/2020 16:05

FWIW the bus drivers in my part of London are still using front doors, I don’t know why or if they’re just ignoring the new rules or haven’t been told yet. And the buses are packed! I don’t believe in shaming or interrogating people but sometimes I do wonder if a tiny nudge as a reminder about essential travel would help.

Having said that, sending parcels because people are ordering from your business is pretty essential as it’s how you earn money and necessary for the business.

FishingPaws · 22/04/2020 16:06

To those people saying that OP's DP overreacted; maybe he did, but being involved in the care of a terminally ill person is hard, harder still if you are emotionally invested. OP's DP is also going to be concerned about the OP as well as stepping up so that she can care for her mum, add lockdown to that and it's unsurprising that the DP is perhaps a little less resilient or patient than might otherwise be the case.

Sorry OP, I've presumed you're female - I apologise if I'm wrong. I'm sorry you're going through this with your mum and hope things are as peaceful and dignified as possible.

redbushtea · 22/04/2020 16:06

The bus driver should not be interrogating passengers. It is not his business.

Hugglespuffed · 22/04/2020 16:08

A bus driver died in my city pretty early on. I can see why they don't want people using them unnecessarily.
The post office trip could have waited until tomorrow (post is slower than normal at the moment anyway and people don't expect things really quick)
You said yourself he was going to then tie in a shop with it so the shop could wait until tomorrow too.

My brother lives abroad in a country with less than 50 deaths at the moment (despite being in Asia and not far from where big outbreaks were first) and they can only leave once a day maximum, have to sign out of building and can only walk to their nearest shop. We should count ourselves lucky that we have the freedom to exercise and drive to big supermarkets.

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 22/04/2020 16:09

I thought we are now told to use the middle door to minimise contact with the driver, or is that just a London thing?

starfishmummy · 22/04/2020 16:10

Cant you pay on line, print postage labels yourself and use a postbox?

starfishmummy · 22/04/2020 16:11

Probably just London Chardonnay. Our buses dont have middle doors

humblesims · 22/04/2020 16:13

I think everyone is a bit on edge and not always getting it 'right'. I''m in the same position as you, I run an online business and have to send DH to the PO to post stuff. Luckily its in walking distance but if it wasnt he'd have to bus it. I'm also looking after an end of life parent so I know what you are going through. Its tough trying to get through it while all around you the world is going mad and not taking what your'e going through into consideration. I really feel for you and hope you get through this awful time. Love to you and your Mum. Flowers

MrKlaw · 22/04/2020 16:14

nothing wrong with it - all this 'its not essential is it' is just people projecting stuff onto the restrictions.

You can completely go to work even if you're not a nurse - you work in an office selling widgets that nobody needs? You can't wfh? Your boss says you have to come in, you can travel to that job. The only restrictions on companies are those open to the public like pubs/restaurants.

Its a big gap in the lockdown IMO and means lots of people still have to travel to and from work.

In your case, work involves posting out goods from the post office. None of the bus drivers bloody business.

Original poster
OldQueen1969 · 22/04/2020 16:15

No the parcels couldn't wait till tomorrow as customers have paid and I have two working days which I had exceeded anyway to make one trip not four and avoid my online side of the business tanking as well as my shop itself thanks - ebay businesses can be sanctioned and suspended if too many people complain and I don't have hours to fine tune right now. The food my Mum needs comes from specific places and no it couldn't wait. We do military style logistics to keep within the rules thanks, and if our local walking distance post office suddenly shuts on a Wednesday how are we supposed to deal with that? And no, I don't do enough online to have a courier pick up and be financially viable before anyone advises that.

OP posts:
Haffiana · 22/04/2020 16:17

God, the people on here who blah the word 'essential' all the time without having actually any idea of the actual guidelines. Such tiny, shrivelled minds and such little comprehension as to how the big world actually functions.

If you cannot work from home then you have to go to work. Many, many people have to go to work. If posting items and going to a post office is part of your work then you can OBVIOUSLY travel to post items.