How often are your dc going between households?

[Bigbird32]

I know this topic has been discussed lots on here but for me it is an ongoing source of confusion and worry. I think the government have essentially left the decision with families because in most cases it's the most ethical thing to do. But when we are being told to stay home and not visit others, I'm confused as to why kids visiting the NR parent is any different?

If you are a separated family are you sticking to your usual contact arrangement? Stopped altogether or changing it slightly?

My ex is still wanting weekly contact and while both households are isolating and for that reason the risk is quite minimal, I'm still not sure that I'm comfortable with it.

Would like to know other people views and try to get some clarity if possible...

Bump

Both key workers here (NHS) so sticking to the usual agreements and working opposites.
And dreaming of the day when I have a work free/kid free hour 😂
Disclaimer: I’m joking, obviously. I am so lucky for this bonus time with the little darlings, honest

I think part of me is maybe being a little paranoid and since both households are operating the same isolating guidelines then maybe contact can continue as normal for now. Even so it just feels wrong at the minute.

Sticking to the usual, which is DS going to his dad's once every 10 days ish. I'm furloughed so I'm at home, ex is a key worker. Neither household is isolating as we're not high risk - I'm home for the most part but still going out for food shopping and exercise.

Another one sticking with the same arrangements. Both households are wfh. It’s an exception because it’s recognised as v important for many DC mental health ( and a DC’s right)

We’re swapping a little more than usual as it’s intense looking after a child solo 24/7

My DC are staying with me until it's over

Sticking to the arrangements as it’s in my child’s best interests.

Sticking to 50/50 but have reduced frequency of changeovers until lockdownnis eased (2255 to week on week off).

Furious that ex is still having his gf over but that's another story..

Seems to be quite a lot of people still allowing contact. It is tough having dc home all the time but the swapping between houses does worry me as it goes against everything the government is advising generally.

We don't live in an area with a horrific amount of cases but it's still on the rise. Im very anxious and I don't know if it's clouding my judgement or if it would be safest and sensible to just keep them home. My ex wouldn't be happy with that though.

The government has acknowledged it’s reasonable though and risks are minimal

@cloudbusting42 I’m exactly the same, week on week off and then found out he is still having his girlfriend over even though he’d told me he wasn’t - he’s an arse.

If you’re really worried about the moving would your ex have them full time?

Moving once a week here - week on week off. Which is a lot fewer handovers than usual - and the DCs are appreciating that.

Im very anxious and I don't know if it's clouding my judgement or if it would be safest and sensible to just keep them home. My ex wouldn't be happy with that though
Or it could be safest and sensible for the DC to just stay at your ex's home?

Would you be happy with that? If not, then don't deprive your ex of time with his children. You are both the children's parents.

Ex and I are both keyworkers. Our teen goes to his every other weekend and one other day midweek, in between.

We used to have our regular days during the week 50/50 care, now we're doing week and week about throughout so that there's less moving around. Both households consist only of us and his dad's partner (no other kids involved) and we're both at home more or less full time (I'm a teacher and physically required in school once every three weeks) so this feels fairly safe to us.

We're sticking to normal arrangements. 50/50.

@NotEverythingIsBlackandwhite of course not. But I am the primary carer so if it were a case of full lockdown (like he government initially said then backtracked on child contact arrangements) then it would make sense for dc to logically stay in their usual home. I don't want to deprive my ex or dc of contact. I know it's important. But people all over the country are making sacrifices and I'm just trying to calculate the risks. Dc have still been visiting weekly but as this goes on and cases rise I just feel more and more uneasy about it.

We are sticking to usual arrangements every other weekend. We are all key workers and this is what works with our jobs. Though am pretty anxious one of us is going to get it and then we all will get it.

My DC are not going to ex-h as he is still working occasionally on customer sites.
DP's DS is not coming here as his mum is a covidiot and thinks it's fine to take him to the shops to get non-essential hobby items as well as her DP taking him out on his deliveries 🤦‍♀️
Our DD has respiratory issues so we've battened down the hatches to the outside world.

@Duchessofealing indeed, though sounds like you're not getting too het up about it. I spent the best part of last week agonising about the risk and the selfishness, said my piece, but he's holding firm. Mental health benefits apparently.

Once, we all met up at ds1's house, the other day.
None of us have had contact with anyone else outside the family though.

I think if the home they are going to is just family, no other member and nobody been out in the community, then it's fine.

It's not right for kids to be put at risk by visiting someone who hasn't been inside with no other outside contact, for at least a month.

My DS is not seeing his dad - he’s 17 though, would normally get the train so that’s not a good idea. He speaks to him on the phone. My DD is also not seeing her dad - she’s 9, and he lives near by, but she doesn’t have any overnights with him anyway (his choice and not suitable due to where he lives anyway). He only normally takes her out once or twice a week, but they can’t go out to park etc now. She phones/face times him a couple of days a week.

Mine isn't going, someone in our household is in the shielding group so don't want the extra risk. But is 12, so it might be different if a younger age or if I was still a single parent and needing a break.