Living with a recovering alcoholic in these weird times.

[Bluewavescrashing]

He pushed me to the brink. Drove our DCs around drunk, drank beer in the park looking after them, ruined family holidays time and time again. Has now been dry for about 8 months and is doing well.

So tonight I drank a bit too much, in the garden, at home. I wasn't sick, I didn't pass out, have an argument, do anything embarrassing. I was just tipsy.

He is really annoyed with me.

My thoughts are, most people are drinking more than usual as it's a shitty time. I had 4 x large G&Ts. Not loads and loads. It was nice to relax with all of this going on.

I haven't done anything wrong but he's really pissed off with me. I don't drink every day, always have a couple of nights off a week. At his peak he drank 60 plus units a week.

Ugh I just feel rubbish.

So selfish and cruel of you to get drunk in front of a recovering alcoholic. Really horrible

OP if you are really honest with yourself you'll look at your language in your OP and see the issues. You had 8 units and seem proud that you only drink 5 nights a week. Regardless of doing that next to a recovering alcoholic, one or two units would have achieved the relaxing effect you talk about. What did the other 6 units achieve? With this virus requiring us to be in the best physical shape to maximise chances in ICU, now is a good time to start being kind to your liver. Do it for yourself, not him. Draw a line under the past and his behaviour, as you decided to stay with him. I think you'll find it harder than you expected to give up alcohol completely for a couple of months. This might be the wake up call you needed.

I wonder if using his past behaviour to justify your right to drink is helpful to you. I think the more important question is whether living with an active alcoholic is more miserable than not having a drink yourself.

It's not your responsibility to manage his recovery but if you would rather he didn't drink again and it's easy for you to control your own alcohol consumption then I'm curious about why you wouldn't remove alcohol from the house to reduce the chances of him relapsing, it's seems to me that would be in your longer term interests.

Would you rather be right or happy?

Two things here: my uncle is a recovering alcoholic. When he was drying out his doctor and AA told us, his family, to behave normally around him. He has to get used to saying no to drink for himself and can't rely on everyone else to change their behaviour.

However, it sounds like you're drinking too much, and in denial about it, and unsupportive.

What's your relationship like generally? Was it badly affected by his drinking? Do you still love him?

And yes, he's being a massive hypocrite. But it must be very hard for him. And we're all under pressure due to lockdown.

I'm in recovery but I've been sober 13 years and it wouldn't be an issue for me. That said, everyone is different and I'm also guessing his sobriety is much newer. Please try and be supportive by not drinking.

What's your relationship like generally? Was it badly affected by his drinking?

Bloody hell @tenlittlecygnets did you even READ the OP? He drunk drove with their children in the car. He "pushed her to the brink".

I'd say she was entitled to get a bit tipsy in the garden.

He's only 8 months in? and now in stressful times with lockdown and fear of the unknown, which as you have said yourself is having an effect on people's consumption.

So don't you think that he is maybe really struggling and trying hard not to relapse at the moment?

it is entirely up to you if you drink or not, as your husband's alcohol problem is not for you to solve.

But if you value the fact he is now sober and not driving around drunk and making your lives hell. Then Maybe think about how your drinking is now having an effect on him.