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Original poster

Daughter, 20, has been out to meet friends

49 replies

Randomword6 · 05/04/2020 18:54

I am so angry with her and my partner for not exerting authority over her, she told him I was ok with it, I WAS NOT. I did not know she had gone out.

OP posts:
umberellaonesie · 05/04/2020 18:56

Well she will be staying with said friends now, wont she.

HappyHammy · 05/04/2020 18:58

Then your partner needs to leave her suitcase outside which she can pick up later to take to her friends.

fallfallfall · 05/04/2020 18:58

When a few of her friends or loved ones die she’ll smarten up.

HappyHammy · 05/04/2020 19:04

Do her friends parents know they all met up. Is she grounded now isolating with them or in her room. At 20 I would expect more.

Sally872 · 05/04/2020 19:06

I would be furious. So stupid.

I would not be angry at partner. At 20 dd should make the sensible choice herself, deliberately lying makes it even worse.

iCorona · 05/04/2020 19:07

She’s 20 surely you can’t ground a 20 year old. This is why adult children shouldn’t live at home. You can’t tell her what to do she clearly is too immature to be responsible enough to not need it. Tell her to go and live with her pals.

Strawberrypancakes · 05/04/2020 19:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Redwinestillfine · 05/04/2020 19:09

Well she will just have to self isolate for the next week in her room. Maybe then she'll think before putting her family at risk.

Bobbiepin · 05/04/2020 19:13

She's an adult. If she wants to make those types of decisions she needs to find somewhere else to live.

Onecabbage · 05/04/2020 19:15

You don’t have to let her back in when she comes home!

isittheholidaysyet · 05/04/2020 19:18

People shouldn’t do this but what do you hope to achieve from posting this?

Mumsnet is where people come to vent and to complain about the things they can't complain about in real life.

OP is stuck at home (like all of us), I guess she is posting because she needs someone to talk to, who isn't going to take offence.

PegasusReturns · 05/04/2020 19:25

Is she home yet? You are right to be furious.

Icantrememebrtheartist · 05/04/2020 19:28

She's 20! Your DP couldn't have stopped her if she really wanted to go out, she is an adult even if her judgement is immature at the moment.

Unfortunately I don't think your DD is the only 20 year old with this attitude. I have a 22 year old niece who was out clubbing/drinking in crowded bars up until the last night before lockdown and thinks it is most unfair on her and her friends that the clubs and bars are shut and I'm not convinced she isn't still meeting up with friends for a chat.

Original poster
Randomword6 · 05/04/2020 19:31

Thanks for supportive comments, I will share your comments with her. She said they were going to be outdoors and social distance but the place they were going is reached by a narrow access path and there is no way to pass others at a distance. I pointed this out when we were discussing this. Dp says he will make her change, wash clothes and self-isolate when she gets back.

OP posts:
ScissorsBike · 05/04/2020 19:36

Sounds fine to me.

Distressingtimes · 05/04/2020 19:52

It isn’t fine Scissors.

Daughter, 20, has been out to meet friends
Emcont · 05/04/2020 19:53

She's a fucking idiot. Sorry, but she's putting you and so many others at risk!

Flowers
OhCaptain · 05/04/2020 19:53

God you must be ashamed! You don’t sound like you raised her to be a selfish cow!

MaxNormal · 05/04/2020 19:57

Sounds fine to me.

In what possible way?

Freddiefox · 05/04/2020 19:57

What did you want your partner to do?

Original poster
Randomword6 · 05/04/2020 20:36

He discussed it with her but he thinks she had the right to go out as she is an adult. This is not a valid argument as adults also have responsibilities. She would listen to him if he could ever bring himself to be the unpopular parent, exert authority.

OP posts:
KaptenKrusty · 05/04/2020 21:24

I don’t know tbh what to think of all this. I don’t think what she did is all that bad - I guess if matters that she comes back to your house and possibly you get exposed

But I work at a nursery and we are still open daily to take in the key workers children! I’m exposed to babies of doctors daily - so to me someone going for a walk at the park doesn’t seem like a massive risk tbh

The supermarket is probably the worst place to be - outside for a stroll is not that bad

runwithme · 05/04/2020 21:39

Kapten, you HAVE to go to work, OP's daughter doesn't HAVE to go out. And you would be taking precautions at work, whereas if OP's daughter has disregard for the advice about staying at home, she will not adhere to the 2 metres rule, 20 second hand washing etc.

ChateauMyself · 05/04/2020 21:44

Her choice to go out.

Your choice to allow her back in.

Compromise - tent in the garden.

BlackandWhiteCat0 · 05/04/2020 21:49

20 year old was stupid enough to attempt this? for fucks sake I have a 16 yr old sister living alone with a baby and she knows far bloody better.